Long-term relationship - where did the sex go?

So my girlfriend and myself have been together now for just around 5 and a half years, and things are fine, relatively.

However, ever since we moved in together 3-odd years ago, our sex life has dwindled to almost literally nothing. Sex MAYBE once a month, if I'm lucky. I'm 26 years old, so obviously, this is an issue - for me.

She never seems to want to have sex at all, and when I talk to her about it, she just gets really upset and starts talking about how it's all her fault, she has no sex drive, etc... and then proceeds to avoid me, thinking that 'every time I touch her, I just want to fuck'.

I recently approached her about it again, and I honestly have no idea as to how to rectify this at all. She's recently spoken to a friend of hers who let her know that this is 'completely natural', something that I do NOT agree with at all. I've been in long term relationships prior to this (ok, 2 and 3 years, respectively), and the sex did not dwindle to nothing. I think prior to this, the least I've had sex was 2-3 times a week, at the very least. Now, I've been having next to none for the last 3 years.

She says that 'alot has changed' since we started dating, and I don't seem to put in the effort anymore, either. However, I consistantly let her know how good she looks, how much I love her, et al. She does have an issue with her image, but that's almost par for the course in a world where Kate Moss is a role model.

I'm seriously in a rut here, guys. I've got nothing to look forward to in the way of sexuality, as by even talking to her about this problem, I've basically sunk any chance I had for having sex in the next month or so anyways. I'm drowning, and don't know what to do to get her back in the saddle, so to speak. She doesn't want me to talk to any of my friends about it, either, as she doesn't want anyone to know. I'm basically stuck now to posting anonymously on the internet, something I'm loathe to have to do, but I've got no other choices whatsoever.

My resolve is slowly weakening, and I really don't want to grow to resent her for this - I love her deeply, but I don't want something like this to come between us because I can't help but let it. I wish I could feel otherwise, but I can already tell that I'm starting to feel uncomfortable around her, and a little hurt by her apparent shunning of me, though she calls to the ends of the earth that she just doesn't have a sex drive.

I know this is one hell of a diatribe, but please, anyone - can you suggest anything that I can do to try and win her back in this aspect? I love her, and this is a wedge that is starting to drive me away from her, something I would prefer not to happen.

Thanks in advance,

IH

 

Sadly there are alot of factors that can play into action here...here's an article I wrote that might help you out...or at least to better understand.... it can be kind of normal, but then there are as I said, several factors that can play into action....Read this and see if it helps

Fading Sexual Desire

Lynn