right here's the problum i've got this obsession with whips i'd really like my other half to whip me but he feels like its abusive n a turnoff you see, he's got a very gental nature which i think could be part of the reason for him not liking to do this and he did say he'd make a rubbish dom so here's the question is there anything that i can do that will gt him to come out his shell a bit mor with me? or is this something that i'm jst gon have to dream about.. also, i forgot to mention i'm a small built person so i don't know if that could have anything to do with it too opinions wanted and welcomed peace xx
I feel your pain. I'm in a relationship with a great, but rather vanilla, guy. Frustrating, isn't it? I actually chose to date him over having no strings attached BDSM sex with a close friend, too. The boyfriend was worth it, but still. Man. Have you incorporated any other kinds of BDSM play into your sex? I mean, whipping's a big jump. Maybe you could try some light bondage or something to start getting him into it. Or maybe try dominating him a little yourself to show him how hot it is from the sub's point of view. I wish I had some better advice, but like I said, I'm in a similar boat. Unfortunately, if a dom isn't really comfortable or confident performing that role, it doesn't work. Same with an uncertain sub. They have to really want it. I've gotten my guy to let me dominate him a little, but it's still pretty tame stuff. Maybe we just have to work on them gradually, eh?
i'm pretty gentle normally, but if i could tell that whipping a girl was really turning her on, then i'm pretty sure i'd have no problem with it. so make it clear that you enjoy it and it's not just hurting you. if that doesn't work, then i don't know where to go from there
Instead of handing him a leather flogger and saying "whip me!" try using something more sedate. There are several "gentle" options that he might be more accepting of, which will hopefully make him more open minded and willing for taking it to the next level. You can buy super soft cotton rope and tie about 20 strands together by wrapping the ends. Or they have some rabbit fur floggers you can buy (just use your favorite search engine). It can be extremely difficult for some people to understand that it's a thrill to feel the sting of a flogger on your body. The best way to explain it to them is to show them how excited you get. My husband was like "hell no!" until I made a soft cotton flogger and he saw how much it turned me on the first time he put it across my back. While you want him to be open minded you also need to understand that some people just aren't comfortable dominating the person they love. Just take it slow and easy and maybe he will come around. You could try getting on your knees and asking "what do you want me to do?" and maybe he will warm up to the idea.....
