Three guys are sitting in a bar having a few drinks together. One guy says, "So tell me, what do you do to drive your wife wild?" "Well," says the second guy, "After making love, I go out to the garden and pick some roses. Then I take the petals off and sprinkle them all over her body. Then I blow them off with a soft breath that drives her wild." Next guy says, "After making love, I get some baby oil and massage it gently all over her body, and that drives her wild!" Last guy says, "When me and the old lady are through, I jump out of bed and wipe my cock on the curtain. Drives her nuts!"
I get it! very good! why did god make homosexuality a sin? 'cause his boyfriend said it would be a bigger turn on that way.
Nice. Peep this, a little sexist but, it's all in good fun. A plane is about to crash and a woman get's up out of her seat, takes off her clothes and yells, "I want someone to make me feel like a woman one last time!" A man sitting 2 rows up gets up, takes his shirt off, throws it at her and says, "Then iron this!"
A kid is selling fish from a roadside stand, calling out "Dam fish for sale! Dam fish for sale!" A preacher comes by and chastises the boy for his foul mouth. The boy looks at him innocently and says, "Sir, I'm not cursing, I got these fish at the dam, that's what they are, dam fish." The preacher is amused by this, so he buys some fish from the boy and takes it home, where he tells his wife to cook the dam fish. She responds, "That's no way for a preacher to speak," so he tells her the story of the child. Later on, at dinner, the preacher asks his wife to pass the dam fish and his son smiles and says, "That's the spirit dad, now pass the fucking potatoes!"
i got one. An English cat named 'one two three' and a French cat named "un deux trois" want to have a swimming race across a river. Which one wins? One two three, cause un deux trois cat sank.
The Pastor's Ass The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and it won again. The local paper read: PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT. The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in another race. The next day, the local paper headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS. This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey. The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent. The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day: NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN. The bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10. The next day the paper read: NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10. This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild. The next day the headlines read: NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE. The bishop was buried the next day. The moral of the story is . . . Being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery. Even shorten your life. So be yourself and enjoy life. Stop worrying about everyone else's ass and you'll be a lot happier and live longer!
