I don't know if this is the right place to post so sorry if not! I'm fairly new I am having extremely strong feelings towards another man. I am a big believer in free love and wish it was promoted world wide but at the same time I really enjoy one on one intimacy. I've been with my partner 3 years, we have a daughter, live together etc. But, recently I've been having extremely vivid thoughts about another man, not just sexual but many things, images of us together, exploring the world together and generally having lots of good, happy times together. We have a very strong soul connection, we have shared in many vivid experiences together, non drug related and generally have a very strong friendship, we share almost all of the same views and are very much world peace promoters, we completely understand each other and are almost identical in personality. He feels exactly the same way and has told me this, we also have a fairly large age gap and that doesn't bother either of us (20 years). I am fairly comfortable with my partner, even though we have a lack of sex life due to him working long hours and me caring for our daughter. Am I wrong? It feels wrong, but also feels very right. Please don't judge me!
I would not judge you, perhaps i am in the same boat as you (kind of...) I do love my boyfriend (we live together) and we are supposed to have common goals and all that...but, (there is always a BUT), i am not in love with him.. that is a problem...when you are not in love with a man but you just love him..that means that you are open to falling in love with another man again, it does not happen everyday but the younger and more beautiful or charming, flirty or open personality you are, the more likely it is to happen..it will happen..its unavoidable... and that can be a problem if you are inside a marriage but then again i guess that's the circle of human nature.. falling in love- loving-falling for another one- divorcing the ex- moving with the new one and so on... so no you are not wrong, actually you are very normal and very earthly and very common...haha hopefully this soothes you... its your decision to stay or to leave with your partner...its more like a state where you are deciding "should i be free to love again? do i still have time for that? or do i compromise, stay here and have a convenient life with my husband, while i see my potential lovers passing by from my life?" unfortunately, because this is how society is made of... of course there is also the option to stay with your husband in an open type marriage (its not bad) and each one of you lead his/her own life...i think this subject on relationships is too deep to dig right now...
Thank you for replying. I do feel like I am not in love with my partner anymore, I love him but I am not in love with him and I don't imagine my life with him as I used to, which is very sad but true. He has no idea of this as of yet. I know right now it is not the 'right time' to leave, or even consider it, we both have a responsibility and that is our daughter, she adores him and I'd hate for her to not be with him everyday. I do feel like I am falling for this other man, we have plans together for the future as friends but I am very open to perhaps changing that in the future, we both have the same wants with each other and for the world. I know I just need some time to get my head around things, work out what I want and need in my life and be open about it, my current partner is not very good at understanding these things and wouldn't take it very well at all. I have plenty of time though, I'm young and although I feel tied down at this moment in time I am hoping that strain will fade and I'll be free to make decisions more freely.
It happened to me too...sometimes you just have to move forward, even if its scary, its not wrong at all. I was not in-love with my ex, I loved him a lot but was not in-love. Didn't realize it until I met one of his friends, funny because I was in denial thinking like "I can't like him, no way I just don't like him, I don't even know him really, what the hell am I so nervous about? etc" It didn't work and I already thought that he liked me, reality hit home one day when I answered my b/f's phone and his friend (surprised it was me) said "well hey girl!!!" very affectionately and in that moment I died and knew I was in-love (I had never felt so out of control, couldn't deny it). I kept thinking "this is so wrong, what am I going to do?" I was so upset but for no reason in truth. :sunny:
Well, an update. I ended things with my partner. I couldn't go on like that much longer. He was obviously very upset but a few days later actually thanked me and said he has been feeling really happy alone which is good And..... I started seeing the other guy, we have connected so well, its amazing, we have such a great relationship right now and are both really happy. I think I made the right choice, although i am sad that my relationship with my ex is over, i see it as a new start rather than the end, we will still see eachother as friends due to our daughter but can also both be happy elsewhere
Well, an update. I ended things with my partner. I couldn't go on like that much longer. He was obviously very upset but a few days later actually thanked me and said he has been feeling really happy alone which is good And..... I started seeing the other guy, we have connected so well, its amazing, we have such a great relationship right now and are both really happy. I think I made the right choice, although i am sad that my relationship with my ex is over, i see it as a new start rather than the end, we will still see eachother as friends due to our daughter but can also both be happy elsewhere
Aww that's awesome cutie. I'm glaad things worked out. You sound like too much of a free spirit to be in a relationship you dont want. I too am a huge prroponent of freelove wnd wish it was promoted worldwide, so I can relate to what you said. Kudos on being honest with him instead of cheating.
