"Instinct Of The Hunter"/"The Thrill Of The Chase" (Bi men)

Fellows...........

Does "searching out"/"hunting down" potential male partners excite and stimulate you to the point that you are in a near-constant state of arousal?

As the old saying goes, "forbidden fruit tastes best"........does this also ring true for you?

Do you find it more erotically-charged to "play" with strangers than men you are already friends with?

Do long-term "FWBs" eventually culminate in close emotional ties, at least with some of your casual male "hook ups"?

And, if you are married, how do you manage to juggle being discreet with being "on the prowl"?

I think this topic might be a quite interesting one............

 

Why not include gay men in this series of questions? This isn't just bi guy stuff - it's stuff that any man who wants to experience sex with other men can put their five cents worth into.

Is the hunt stimulating and exciting? It can be when it's not feeling like a lot of hard work. I sit down, open my favorite app, and peruse the offerings and I know what I'm looking for but, these days, you have to wade through a lot of "garbage" before you can find someone who not only meets your requirements but also doesn't want to take a month to decide that, yes, we should get together and have sex. Exciting? Yeah, sure; in a near-constant state of arousal? I'm probably like that before I begin the hunt... and why I'm hunting to begin with. I understand that some guys get off on the thrill of the hunt and the thrill of the hunt itself wore off of me a long time ago - and too many guys are all about the thrill of it than they are about actually doing it, i.e., those fakes and flakes none of us want to be bothered with.

Does the forbidden fruit taste the best? Yes, it does; you have no idea how good it can taste.

Is it more erotically charged with strangers versus the devil you already know? It's about the sex more than it is about the person that's erotically stimulating for me although either kind of guy does have to pass my "asshole test." Plus, after a measure of time, familiarity breeds contempt and the devil you already know is more likely to feel privileged, i.e., he can have you whenever the mood strikes him and tends to get pissy when I can't accommodate him but, really, for me, the thought that I'm going to get my hands and mouth on a guy's cock is what gets my blood boiling. I'm not susceptible to stranger danger and the guy who just came over to me and started talking will be scrutinized closely because I was trained to do it - and I do it without even thinking about it. I've been in the game too long not to spot bullshit when I hear it and it's true that you cannot bullshit a bullshitter (heh, heh) so by the time we go off to suck each other silly, the guy I didn't know an hour ago is someone I know now and it can be no other way even though, yeah, when I was younger, I wasn't all that discerning and I'm surprised that I survived that bit of carelessness but I did so that stranger danger thing is moot.

Besides, there was a time when the devil I already know was the devil I didn't know, wasn't he? Yeah, he was...

I would say it's possible to develop those close emotional ties but it's not a given that they will develop. Then, it's not that you could develop those feelings over time - it's what, if anything, you want to do about them... and should you do something about them. It's okay to just feel lust for your FWB and it's okay to be very lusty with him but unless you know how he feels about guys getting into their feelings like this, just accept that this is how you feel and doing anything about those feelings is TBD. FWB has turned into a legitimate relationship so I'm thinking that you shouldn't use the words "casual male hook ups" here since a lot of guys are looking for an FWB rather than wanting to casually hook up with a guy - and FWBs and casual male hook ups are diametrically opposed to each other.

Just wanted to point that out to ya. To continue...

Even when you have permission (and as I do), you still have to exercise discretion while on the hunt. I don't concern myself with who knows that I'm a cocksucker but this isn't just about me - it's also about the other guy whose cock I want to suck and if he's married, discretion is going to be a must for him - unless he also has permission but, yeah, some married guys with permission might not be worried about what their wife is going to say but they will be worried about what everyone else around him is going to say and the watch phrase I have always lived by is, "I won't tell if you won't."

 

KD23:

Why I didn't include gay men in the initial post for this topic is beyond me; glad you brought it up for inclusion here.

And, once again, your comments indeed speak volumes (again, with common sense first and foremost); you have your act together, for certain (I guess practice makes perfect!)

It will be interesting to read the comments/experiences on this topic from others..............

 

i just wish it was easier to find like minded men

 

There are an untold number of like-minded men out there; you just gotta go through some shit to be able to find them and, if you can, keep them. As long as this stupid stigma against gay and bi men exists, there will be untold numbers of like-minded men who are not going to stick their head out of their closets lest they be exposed to ridicule and hatred. I understand it but I don't understand letting someone else be in control of the things you want to do in this and it's like I've been telling guys for years: If it's something you really want to do, you'll find a way to do it. If you have a very bad case of stranger danger, you will not be open or receptive to a guy who just might be like-minded. If you believe that casual sex is a clear and present danger, wake up and smell the damned coffee - and stock up on condoms and learn to be a good judge of people and character and do some due diligence to make sure that you can have sex with this guy and not incur serious risks.

If you're not "out there" hunting and enjoying the thrill of the hunt - and the rewards in capturing your "prey" - or you're the one who'll be a hunter's prey, which is just as thrilling to know that you're out there hunting and you're also being hunted, then what the fuck are you doing and what are you waiting for? If you're waiting for the world to change, I hope you're not holding your breath, YOLO, and tomorrow isn't promised to anyone.

One "correction" to what I wrote about in my fourth paragraph. It can be exciting to be with a guy you don't know - because you don't know what's it's going to be like to be with him, but you do hope that he lives up to his own hype - and I wouldn't believe it anyway. It can be exciting with the guy you know well because, um, he's proven himself to not be nervous in the service and he doesn't have any "secrets" because you two have been exploring the shit out of each other. In either situation, the anticipation of getting with them can be intoxicating while likely to give you a bad case of being nervous because even with the guy you know, this next time could be different in some way, and you never know what's going to happen until it happens. It's okay to feel the excitement and it's okay to not let being excited fuck with your head in a negative way. For myself, it's exciting either way because everyone is fair game until they prove that they aren't - this just ain't about getting some dick if you're gay or bi but if you're bi, it's still about the hunt for pussy and whether it's the pussy you know or the one you want to get to know...

 

KD23:

Yet again, words of wisdom from one who (quite honestly!) is indeed a "master at his craft"!

All kidding aside, I only wish more "straight" guys who have long denied their strong urges to be with another male could read what you share with us here.

Indeed, they'd be much enlightend, if nothing else.

To hell with all the "PUB" (Pure Unadulterated Bullshit), and ALL the other asinine, narrow-minded bullshit that's spewed like deadly venom from those ignorant morons who haven't a damn clue as to what they are talking about........

 

Would they lose their fear of the stigma? Their fears about being outed as a homosexual? Too deeply institutionalized into believing that they cannot like men in this way lest they truly be homosexual when the truth I learned is that you don't have to like men like you do women or as gay men like men - you just gotta like them enough to want to have sex with them.

If you're afraid to hunt cock, what can I say to those straight guys that will make them unafraid to go hunting for a different source of sex? Am I a "master of my craft?" I wouldn't dare to say something like that - but I know what I've learned that not only works for me but makes the most sense and to any such guys who might be just tuning in, I've been bisexual for 60 years and I've learned a lot about having sex with men.

And I don't believe in the fairy tale.

 

KD23:

Sadly, stigmas and stereotypes (as much harmful bullshit as they are) seem to refuse to die, thanks to sheer ignorance and the total disbelieve of ANYTHING str8 bigots they fear MIGHT contradict what they have been taught throughout their lives......and what has so firmly been implanted into their heads.

Stereotypes, in all forms, regarding many different aspects of daily life, are demeaning and destructive both......you'd have thought that, by now, we'd have learned better.............

 

If you want to feel the thrill of the hunt, fuck the dumb shit. Get it out of your head. Don't buy into the horror stories and get a grip on your fears - and do not ever let someone make their fears your fears. Find your own answers to GG57's questions and if you know them already, share so that another guy can find his own answers.

 

KD23:

In life, it often seems, there are far more questions than there are answers.

IMHO, if a "closeted" bi male gives into to all of the negativity, narrow-mindedness, and stereotypical bullshit out there today, he is, indeed, crippling himself, both emotionally and sexually.

Geeze, you'd have thought by the 21st century we'd be a lot more enlightened than we were. back in the last century................

 

You'd think so but the problem is... society. We don't teach sex; we leave young, horny guys and gals to figure it out on their own and when they make mistakes, we castigate them for a mistake that they didn't know about because we don't teach about sex, let alone sexuality, and the thing we know best is... homosexual and since religion has been putting major hate on this since it was created, it can't be seen as a positive unless or until a guy manages to break that social conditioning, either at the hands of someone who already knows what time it is or they innately do it themselves.

From one generation to the next, the ignorance about sex and sexuality gets carried over as does all of the negativity and to the extent that most people think that a bisexual and a homosexual are the same things when, duh, not even. Every generation, more information gets out there and with the advent of the internet and the WWW, the information that societies around the world do not want their peoples to know that being heterosexual isn't the only way one can be and, yeah, if it's good and healthy for heterosexuals to have sex, it should be just as good and healthy for anyone who chooses not to be heterosexual or is walking that wonderful path of bisexuality.

What keeps many a man from turning into a ravening cock hunter is... perpetuated fear. The horror stories. The continued "threat" of turning into a flaming fag. Slamming down the disease card so hard and often that I have heard guys say that they won't touch another man's prick out of fear of catching something nasty - but the damned misconception that says if the other guy is an FWB, well, it's okay to do whatever you want to with his prick because it's safe to do so. And while there are those who speak out in favor of the sheer fluidity of human sexuality, they also wind up spreading ancient fears of rape, molestation, discrimination, and abjectly brutal sexual abuse that can lead to death.

If you're thinking about crossing the line and you hear about all of this shit, are you gonna be willing to take that next step toward sexual enlightenment? Indeed - in life, there are more questions than answers and not enough time to go looking for all of them but this? Sex and sexuality? We know the answers to the questions, but our enforced prudishness says it's TMI and is not for God-fearing people. I am seriously not kidding when I keep saying that this isn't rocket science because why is it okay for a woman to suck you off but not okay for a guy to do the exact same thing?

And when you figure out the answer to this - and if you don't know it, I don't know what to tell you (other than the answer) - then you will find that you've been forced to be afraid of something that generation after generation of males (and females) have found to be not all that scary.

 

KD23:

At the risk of repeating myself, I am (again) highly impressed with your straight-forward, no bullshit views and commentaries, not to mention your keen intelligence on so many matters of greater importance.

Well said, well-written, and RIGHT ON THE MARK!

 

And, as a reminder, closeted gay men go through the same self-inflicted isolation and deprivation. They want to hunt and be hunted... but. Always an excuse as to why they're still hiding out in their closet and settling for masturbating to porn. Any bi or gay guy who has taken the plunge and has been out there tasting the rainbow should be able to provide their own answers to your question, right?

Right.

 

KD23...........

Just thinking about instances when the "hunter" becomes the "hunted"; either a closeted bi married male (or gay male) for that matter) who has not the slightest clue that a "str8" bud/male coworker has the major-league hots for him, and is either "reading the signals" or too leery about being "branded" is he DOES pick up on those signals.....and then, ends up goes the full nine yards.

It wasn't until years after I retired after nearly 25 years on the job, that, in searching my memory, and then recalling that there WERE a few married guys whom I knew from work, who clearly were either bi or bi-curious.

At the time (being both celibate AND, I will admit, QUITE naive), what did I know?

I thought men were either gay or straight, with no in-between.

Again, what the hell did I know?

It was not until a few years before I retired that I discovered a pocket magazine called "Options" ("the only bi monthly"!) at a newsdealer near my job, that I saw that there WERE married "str8" males who indeed LOVED getting it on with other guys.

I remember thinking it quite interesting, and then chuckling "Well, good for them!"

 

I learned that any time I left my home, I was subject to being hunted even if I wasn't thinking about doing any hunting, let alone being hunted... which always seemed to get guys hitting on me and with the majority of them (a) getting lucky and (b) finding out that they're taking a hunter to bed and not the "innocent" and naive person they were thinking I was - and looking for. I was good at sucking cock and I could take the big ones in my ass without complaint - and I knew how to use my dick, too.

I'd like to think that I wasn't a slouch with the ladies, either. I had learned that everyone is fair game until proven otherwise; there was no such animal as the FWB unless you considered having a fuck/suck buddy - but a buddy you usually didn't see unless he wanted to get his balls emptied and, oh, yeah - no turning this into a relationship because if you do, we can still be friends but we won't be having sex. Still, how could one not be excited knowing that they could come outside and almost in short order, find himself naked with another guy and getting deep into the sex that males can have with each other?

From the beginning, the forbidden fruit was... another boy. It could get even more forbidden and, yes, be even more exciting and educational. Worth the risk? You're damned right it was.

 

AMEN, BROTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

"The Thrill Of The Chase"..........

Just thinking of those guys into M/M sex who travel on business regularly, and just how erotically exciting they find the prospect of hooking up with strange men in other cities.........the thrill of that alone, can (I think) make for one helluva "build up" to the "main event".........

 

When I traveled for business, I could look forward to wind up being checked out and/or propositioned by a guy who's also there for a business trip. See, when you know that you can be "prey" for another guy, when they stroll up to you and start kicking their game at you, you're not surprised nor are you about to soil yourself because some guy you have never seen before in your life wants to suck your dick, looking to get his sucked - whatever his indecent proposal is going to consist of.

Is it really all that thrilling? Eh, not when you had one hell of a rough time getting to where you needed to be, complications like airline bullshit, rental car nonsense, and the very much hated "We can't find your reservation" or, worse, "We gave your room to another guest and we have no more rooms (or you're not going to get the really nice room you reserved and now you're in the crappiest room the hotel has)." The last thing you wanna be dealing with is settling down in the hotel bar - and if they even have one - and some guy wants to have sex with you. You might consent and it might even wind up being good once you're able to relax into it.

Otherwise, yeah, I can only remember maybe two or three trips I made in a 21-year career where I didn't get hit on by a fellow traveler who was looking to stave off the loneliness of his stay in this city. I also learned not to "go looking for it," if you know what I mean. Sure, I've gone hunting in hotel bars and even in the venues that brought me to this place, and I've been successful but it's... kinda 'nice' to know I can catch a guy's eye and start getting his dick hard and when all I really wanted to do is unwind from my trip there but not ready to call it a night. It's hilarious to have a guy trying to seduce me or, even funnier, trying to get me drunk so he can take advantage of me or they're just so inept at being able to lead up to, "Do you wanna come to my room so I can suck your cock?"

You can make it easy to be another guy's prey, but you also don't have to make it that easy for him, either. But just like being on the hunt for pussy, this is a "game" we play in order to have sex and in my travels, I'd never encountered a guy who'd been getting dick just as long or longer than I have which, again, can be quite amusing or it's going to be one hell of a surprise for the guy who is sure that he knows more about this than I do. What's that you say? You've always wanted to suck a black cock? Hmm... okay, your room or mine?

And, yes, I can count on one hand and with two fingers how many Black men have picked me up when I've been on the road; the rest have all been white men who've been either bi or a "straight-acting" gay and, by the way, I fucking hate hearing "straight-acting" and there's a reason for it. And, oddly, most of my business trips took me to the Bible Belt and if ya think that other guys who are on the road can be hungry for cock, man, whew, a lot of the Bible Belt locals aren't as innocent as it's been suggesting people are in the Bible Belt and, well, that goes for women, too, who have hunted me and captured me as the prey they wanted but as you can imagine, it's been more guys than gals in the business trip business.

This is a situation that if you have stranger danger, wow, you're probably gonna get triggered and not in a good way. This is one of the situations that as much as I despise condoms, I've brought them on the trip and have used them and especially if the guy hunting me wanted to be fucked. It's always better to have them and not need them than to need them and not have them.

In one night alone, I turned down six guys who had hit on me because their vibe felt wrong. The thing was that I never knew what I was going to run into when I had to travel for business, but I knew that at least one guy was going to hit on me. Exciting? Yeah, it can be as you listen to the guy's story and how he's always wanted to try it or they're married and the only time they can get some dick is when they're on the road...

 

KD23:

Yet another AAAAA+++++++++++++ response/commentary!

To say you are wise in that you'd have condoms with you (even though you ain't fond of them.....who can blame you?); in this day and age, is indeed an understatement.

IMHO, it would be nothing short of "Russian Roulette" NOT to have condoms on hand, for these "get-it-on-with-some-dude-I-don't-know-from-Adam".

Makes total sense to me.

Even though, when looking at porn, it's a big turnoff for me to see a guy with a hot butt getting rammed by a wrapped cock; but, in the REAL world, well. 'nuff said.

Curious...........

How many of the white guys that you've encountered have been pretty damn well satisfied with what you pack in your shorts, OR, do they end up having their "BBC" fantasy totally blown away when they see you are not equipped with a 12" trouser python?

Once again, the "BBC" mystique seems almost impossible to defeat.........

 

The BBC thing makes me roll my eyes because not all of us have big dicks. I've had guys on business trips start talking about their interest in Black cock (insert me rolling my eyes without rolling them because it'd be rude) and... we're in the room and he's about to take me into his mouth and talking about how big my dick is but you asked how many white guys and all I can say is... a lot have, hopefully, been very damned well satisfied with what lives in my underwear; some have been "disappointed" because I don't have a fat snake hanging down to my ankles but I'm above average and if they remained disappointed, well, that's what you get for buying into the BBC hype. I've had them go on about how big my dick is when I can see that their dick is bigger than mine and, okay, I think I get it but I really don't.

The hype isn't just that "we all have big-assed dicks" - it's about the "animalistic passion" we bring to having sex, too, but again, I've had guys of other ethnicities be a hell of a lot more passionate that I am but, sure - you always want to bring your very best to the bed because when he goes back home, he's gonna remember the time he spent with me. Some of the hype is the "forbidden fruit" of interracial sex and when you're on a "strict diet" of white cock and you're out of that environment and there's a Black guy sitting at the bar and... I wonder. Could be "forbidden fruit" or could simply be a much-needed change.

Here's my thing. When he goes back to his room, I don't want him to be thinking about how big my dick is or a lack of a python between my legs; I want them thinking about how much fun they had with me, that if he's gonna praise something about me, it's how good I am at sucking cock or if we're fucking, how nice and responsive I was and how good my hole felt gripping their prick or, yeah, he can remember what it felt like when I pushed my dick into his tight hole. If I can do the sex right for them, if they remember how big - or not big - my dick was, well, that's a secondary concern that's not even a concern since, duh, my dick is the size it's always going to be - but did he have fun sucking me?

I know that when I go back to my room or I'm on my way back home, I'm going to be thinking about the time spent with him more than I'm thinking about the size of his dick; I might roll my eyes if he bought into the BBC stuff and if he did, I will add it to the other things I've learned about the whole BBC thing - why it means so much to some and why I don't give a fuck how big your dick is. Was he fun in bed? Did I like sucking his dick? Fucking him or being fucked by him? If I saw him again, would I want to go to bed with him again?