ima bitch

and i feel guilty.
me and 2 other friends went to Blagoevgrad 2 days ago, we spend the night at one of them lodging. We did all the usual smoke, drank , chilled nothing so special.
But at night one of them that is one of my closest friends just came in my bed and hugged me. he did all the things i knew he shouldn`t be doing....and i didint stoped him. I wanted to stop him, and at the same time i didint.
now i feel fucked up, i dont want my boyfrined to find out about this..... i feel fuckiong shity and there is nothing i can do about it. im not going to make a drama out of this, but im confused and ....very confused about this

 

So, you'd rather continue in a relationship with your boyfriend, in which he is just completely oblivious to this? It sounds very cliche, but it holds very true...honesty is very important in a relationship. Despite the fact that he probably won't directly ask you if you've "cheated" on him, if you don't tell him you're still essentially lying to him, unless you know he's cool with you hooking up with other guys...in a free love sense.

I know that males and females can be very different, but from my experience with ladies...even when I wasn't in a "defined relationship" and hooked up with someone else they didn't really take it lightly. I didn't feel the need to tell them, eventually they found out and were even more pissed at the fact that I didn't bring it up with them than they were at the act itself.

There's no reason to beat yourself up about it though...it is what it is, and we learn from our pasts.

 

i am usually very open to him and i have always told him everything good or bad i did. i also told him that i like the idea of free love and if he ever feels the need to hit on some other girl i wont mind, i wont mind even if he fuckes her. But he definitely wont feel the same way if i do something like that. He is very jealous in that matter. i respect him i love him i have gone through so much with him. But now i feel bifurcate. I know that guy always liked me, he always told me i was special for him and shit and honestly i had some feeling toward that. But uck im not a person that would do that
I no this time i cant tell him, he would freak out

 

Well if you do tell him and you want to continue the relationship, you will probably have to choose between him and your friend.

 

i know, but i cant and wont choose that friend of mine. I cant do it, i like him but NO. he makes me shiver when i see him, his smile is melting me but i will leave that for the next lifetime.

 

im confused, so you're saying you wouldnt give up that friend and that he makes you melt or that would even though he makes you melt?

 

ahah im more confused than u are.
No like a friend i wont give him up, but there can be nothing more between me and him. I choose my current boyfriend, coz i have too deep respect and love for him.
and yes i feel really strong attraction to that guy and i wish i didin`t but i just cant help it and i do feel guilty for that too, but i wont ever let what happened yesterday happen again.

 

But you didn't leave it for the next lifetime, you already slept with him.. It's not fair to your partner, you need to tell him. You've got feelings for someone else, it happens.. but you need to be honest. If you want an open relationship then maybe in the long run it is better for you to be with someone else who wants that too, and not with someone who just wants you.

 

Well i am telling you that if your boyfriend is a jealous type ( i am one myself even though i try not to be) and an open relationship isnt a part of your realtion ship. Then if you tell him and want to remain his partner, you're going to have to give up the friend you slept with, even if you promise not to do it again.

I mean i could be wrong but i have a feeling thats how things will go down, so im giving you a heads up.

 

man i`m really scared to tell him i now he is gonna freak out like crazy. he is gonna get crazy and go to fight with "my Big mistake", hes gonna cry its going to be fucking dramatic and i don`t want to go through this
i know i act like a coward yes i am a big fat horrible coward liar, but no i wont tell him.

 

Well thats disgusting.Your boyfriend should give u a firm spanking.
..From a gypsy

No seriously , 1st telling him WONT likely help the situation.
But on another point , maybe u SHOULD think about the "free love" type thing.Is your current bf perfect for u , in the current format?

 

Well what about your friend? He wants you and now you've slept with him. Will he tell your boyfriend?

Because even if you won't tell your boyfriend, he might still find out and then it'll be way worse if he has to find out from someone else.

 

No i`m pretty sure he wont tell anything to anyone

 

I dont care if you lie to him or not. But i do have some more advice, if you know he is going to take it badly and you make the choice you're going to tell him. Make sure that a) he isnt going to be able to fight "mr mistake", distance works well and B) that he isnt already in a vulnerable situation or a situation that might make his reaction have worse consequences, such as at a work place.

 

no he is not, but he was always there for me when i needed him. I have strong feelings and respect and i just care for him. Different from the feelings i have for that other guy, but nevertheless strong, maybe stronger...oh but i don`t know man i`m really confused its just tripy
I have called the guy today and told him i have decided that we shouldnt see anymore, then after 2 min he called by telling me everything has gone upsaid down in his world when he heard me saying this. he told me he would come right away to me when he finish work, i told him NO but he said he didin`t care

..............................................................................................................................
my brains hurt

 

Yeah tell your boyfriend, he is going to be so torn when he hears it from this other guy, which by the sounds of it he will.

Good luck Greengirl, PM me if you ever want.

 

I guess it would be better not to tell your boyfriend anything about what happened. Usually honesty in such matters leads to ruined relationships. And if you are sure you love your boyfriend, you'd better leave these things untold.
I know it may sound like lying, but lies are better than getting someone you love hurt and angry.

 

Ok well I dunno if respect and feelings , are enough for you to havea lifelong monogamous relat with.
You're 18 , you've obviusoly got a free spirited side.

TRy and damp things down with the other guy.He prob thought u were gonna be his new girl.I *wouldnt* tell him u never wanna see him again- just that u need to step back , whatever.

Also "free love" is hard to explore with someone.Many people are conditioned that they shouldnt accept it.Has your current bf really thought?

 

my boyfriend has told me he had some imaginings about he fucking some random chicks and i told him if he wanted and had the chance to do it to go fucking go for it, coz im ok with it! But he said that he would never do ti tralala, u get the point,.

and that guy he likes me for 2 years now maybe a little les ok and sometimes he is triping more than is normal.
he is holding my hand i am pulling it then he grabs it again and sqweeses me and its mentaly disturbing for me, coz it bring out emotions in me and at the same time the memory of my boyfrined appears in my head and i am pulling myself aside from him again....but he grabs me again and again and again

 

Well this is hard at 18.Prob hard at other ages too.
I dont think this should be about "not feeling guilty".
More about whats best for u , short and longer term.

Sounds like u have feelings for the 2nd guy- so I wouldnt go all icy on him.
Triping u mean?
I dont think your urge to explore other people will go away. I think u should address it?