I'm still in love

For about 8 months I talked to this guy Andrew, in England my friend hooked me up with. I know he wasn't a pedifile because my friend Hannah had met him. Well, as I said, I talked to him for about 8 months and fell in love with his after 3. About 2 weeks before he stopped talking to me and told me he didn't love me, my best guy friend ,Austin, died. Austin and Andrew were the only two people I could talk to about anything. Well, 2 weeks later Andrew tells me he doesn't love me anymore and breaks off whatever it was we had going. For the next 2 weeks I couldn't think clearly or do any everyday things. i felt completely alone and broken because I had no one to talk to.

It's been 3 months sense Andrew and I split and shit and I'm really really missing him right now. I have no idea what is keeping me holding onto him, but it's making my life hell. All I think about is "Am I not good enough to love?" , "Did you ever mean it when you said you loved me?" , "Am I so pathedic that not only can I keep a boyfriend in the same state as me, but I also can't keep one across the ocean?" , "What the fuck is so wrong with me?" ...ext

I'm just still in love with him and I just haven't been able to stop thinking about him lately.

I just don't know what to do about it.

 

your just young, hearts get broken and eventually you learn to cope with it better. i'm sure everyones gone through heart ache much the same, eventually you realise you have to move on and be strong. you'll find somone that you love, and loves you the same, and youll be together for years. Live it up.

 

You just need to find someone to lean on homegirl, it'll go if you let it go, it's just so much easier to do if you find someone else first

but hey, stay fly, you've got a cool four years coming up

 

I've been trying to find someone else
I can't
All my friends have a significant other and I don't know anyone else, so I'm on my own here and it pretty much sucks

 

What's so bad about being on your own?

You're just 14... sweet Jesus.

You'll end up being one of them girls who gets pregnant by 16, marries by 18, divorces by 21, and then has a shitty existence if you keep on basing your happiness on emotional attachment.

 

Fuck you Ruben.

For one, Age is nothing but a fucking number.

You have no fucking idea what he meant to me.
He was my everything.
If i fucking had a bad day, I could email him and talk to him about it.
I was his little American Redneck and he was my Football playing English boy.
He actually accepted me for who I was, unlike the rest of this world.
He was the only person who could fucking calm me down.
He was the only thing that I looked forword to.
He was the reason I was happy.
I gave him my heart.
I gave him my soul.
I would have gave him my body.

How about you have the only good thing in you're life reject you?
Then tell me how you would fucking handle it.

 

and in the end he was a guy in the internet thousands of miles away

in time you will find a person in real life

Rubin is right, 14 is young. There is a little more to age than simply a number

 

Hey there, feisty teenager.

I'm honestly just trying to help you out.

You need to start finding comfort within yourself for a change. I'm sure that there's a lot to you behind the "fuck you" comments and all. Look within yourself for happiness... it ain't that hard to find.

 

I've been looking to find happiness sense I can remember.
If i haven't found it yet, I'm not gonna.

 

As cheesy songs say...

You're lookin' in all the wrong places.

 

If you asked most people that were 14 they would say they hadn't found happiness. You are barely through puberty, give yourself some time and for christs sake try to be a little more optimistic than saying you have been looking for 4 years, since age 10, and will never find it

 

Then where the fuck am I supposed to look?

I've tried filling this hole inside me.
I've tried writting, playing music, friends, guys, family, drawing, painting, photography, pottery, dancing, running, walking, designing, sewing, cooking, gardening, singing, scrapbooking, carpendry , religion, even fucking studying like crazy.

Nothing fills the missing puzzles peice labeled 'Happiness'

 

You might be looking too hard.

Maybe there is no missing puzzle piece to begin with.

What is happiness, after all?

 

The absense of sadness?
I know there is a missing peice, I've tried the just go with the flow thing, it dont work

 

relax hun, you're still in love because you havent moved on yet, you're 14 fuckin have fun, stop worrying about boys and men, they give you heart break anyways-another cheesy lyric

as you can feel it now obviously, go hang out with friends and talk about all the clothes you got at limited too and toddlers store.

ok that was mean >_<
just move on

 

flannelwearer don't put so much pressure on yourself to find someone. desperation is the worst perfume. get involved in your community, go out with friends and please do your homework! =)) the guy will come along when you're feeling right with yourself again. from your posts in this thread it sounds like you have a lot going for you and some guy is going to love you one day. you just need to exercise patience and perhaps this time is the world trying to teach this to you. i'm 38 and haven't dated in years. i'm not always happy about it but i manage. you can too. if it'll help you to chat with someone feel free to IM me. hang in there sister.

read Shel Siverstein's "The Missing Piece Meets the Big O." all the answers are there for most part.

 

He was willing to. I asked him that 4 months in love. He said he'd do whatever he needed to to be with me.

 

Fuck limited too.
I shop at walmart and hot topic, limited too can go fuck herself.
They just turn tots into prostitots.

 

you have all the time in the world to find somebody that was like him (even though i know the response to that is gonna be "nobody is like him").. but i thought that whenever me and my boyfriend of 4 years broke up. i never thought i would find anybody else like him and i felt broken and lonely just like you did.

i tried forever to not let it bother me, but it bothered me every day for awhile.. and i was so depressed and didn't want to do anything except lay in bed and cry. then i realized that isn't going to help me out any, and i found other stuff to do and i got over it and now i barely even think about the relationship.

he wasn't a good person anyway if he just stopped talking to you and told you he didn't love you.. anyone that makes you feel like shit is not worth crying over.

 

He made me happy

i would go over to my friends house and we would call him and i would listen to him on the phone yelling at his friend because he couldn't hear me. I would listen to him get drunk and spill his guts out to me about everything. About how he cared about me, about what he thought of people and how it worried him to death that i would say im ugly and worthless.

I just miss hearing his voice when he would get drunk and tell me over and over and over that he loved me and wished i could be there laying on his bed with him ,just holding one another.