Im in love but my boyfriend said something that really creeped me out...

Well I have been with my new boyfriend for a few weeks now. And im so in love with him. We have soooo much in common and we get along really well. Hes compassionate, patient, funny...the sex is amazing....the best ive ever had really. So since I have had extremely bad luck it seems with guys...I found myself sitting there wondering if this could be it. Everything seems so right and almost like nothing could go wrong. Then the baby talk set in. And I was thinking "ok a bit odd...and annoying...maybe he will stop". Then a few nights ago we had just finished having amazing sex and we were cuddling when he started spankin my butt, and when I showed interest he kept doing it...a bit harder each time. Then he whispered that he wanted to molest me and wanted me to call him daddy. And I thought "whoa what the hell??!"......I was sooooooo turned off and almost repulsed but I tried not to make it obvious. That, coupled with the baby talk a few minutes later....I started to get kinda freaked out. He calls me his "lil cutie" in baby talk sometimes and now im just kinda freaked out by the whole thing. I would like to add that I am considerably smaller in size to him....but we are both the same age. What advice does anyone have? Think its just some odd fetish that he has, or could it be something more? It sorta bothers me cuz he wants to work with kids eventually he says. This just kinda came outta nowhere and I wasnt expecting it. *sigh* Cuz this is sorta a deal breaker for me....anyone have something similar happen to them?

 

Whoa! That sounds kinda freaky. And you said you two have only been going out a week or two? Chick, you need to talk to him yourself. Ask him what the deal is ya know.!

 

It doesn't really sound *that* freaky. But confused, you were a bit upset by it and that's what matters.

First things, it's great that you're feeling so in love and happy with this guy (apart from the problem you posted about of course). Try to remember that happiness and love when you're dealing with this. He's obviously not a total whacko or anything otherwise everything else wouldn't be so great! It seems more that there's just this one thing that has got you worried...so deal with that one thing as one thing, rather than worrying about the whole relationship.

In any relationship, the keys are honesty, communication and a willingness to listen and see the other person's point of view. If him using baby talk sexually with you upsets you, then you should absolutely tell him - and right away! Sex is about the both of you and what you BOTH enjoy and agree on. It should never involve either of you keeping quiet or putting up with something you're just not into or that makes you uncomfortable. You owe it to yourself, to him and to the future of your sex life to be honest - if it's not on, it's not on.

However, the baby talk doesn't mean he's a pedophile or he's going to hurt the kids he wants to work with or anything like that. A lot of people have certain sexual fantasies - and the daddy / daughter one is actually quite common. The majority of the people who have these fantasies only play with them in safe ways - i.e. instead of actually going out and molesting kids, they read kinky stories, or act out the fantasy with a consenting, adult partner. That's obviously what he was trying to do with you.

Admittedly though it would have been more considerate of him to explain "I have this fantasy I want to act out with you". Then you could have discussed it and voiced concerns and agreed to the sex-play - or not. But he was probably shy or didn't think or some such. But being thoughtless and having a sex-fantasy doesn't mean he's a freak - it just makes him human

Of course if you're open to playing, you could explain that while you're not comfortable (yet) with that particullar fantasy, maybe there's some other play you two could try. Maybe a toned down version of that fantasy (with some sort of domination theme, but no incest) - or something else you're more comfortable with. Of course, if you do, do it the right way where you agree with what you're both comfortable with before you start - and that if either of you get uncomfortable, you'll stop straight away.

Good luck and have fun!

 

Out!, quick - while the relationship is still in its nascent stage; before he figures out a way to threaten you! I'm deadly serious: Out! Now!

 

That's really not that uncommon at all. You're just a little sheltered.

 

I agree with Toenail. I don't think it's that uncommon...and I also think he could have probably brought his fantasies up a little bit better...but he's a guy

Anyway, communicate your concerns talk to him about it...if you're in love with him, this part should be easy.

Good luck!

 

it all seems like some harmless fun, but i can understand how it may creep you out, coming up out of the blue and such....

"daddy" is a term that's been used for decades to connote a lover, just like "mama" - perhaps if you view the term in that fashion it won't make you feel so uptight about it all

seems like he's got a healthy fantasy that he thought he could share with you, especially since you seem so petite and innocent to him - try and find it flattering....since the relationship is in the early stages, he probably felt awkward talking about it in intellectual terms "i have this fantasy i want to explore" and just went for it

don't dump the guy because of a simple misunderstanding - at least he felt comfortable enough with you that he could share his fantasy - you could be the first one he's ever told

 

Haahahahah are you fucking serious? leave someone over one little fantasy? Yeesh

I agree with Toenail, it's not an uncommon fantasy. Hell, the Daddy term usually isn't used in an incesty way, it's more a position fo authority thing. Power games and the like. I'd talk to him about it
y'know, this funny communication thing.

Tell him it's not a term you're comfortable with, and that baby talk is a big turn off for you. Hey, it is for me too and I like power games and bdsm-type play. But the Daddy thing is a huge turn off for me. Solution? Tell your partner! It's not like they're some magical mind-reader or anything

 

DUDE WHAT THE FUCK!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
that is so fucking creepy dude, like I think that guy might mave a fetish for small children

 

i'd talk to him and tell him that you aint happy with the "daddy"talk, let him know, how else is he gonna learn
good luck
have fun

 

That's just not right. And sure as hell don't have kids with that creep.

 

now that i think about it, its a bit weard me thinks, only you can decide what's right for you in the long run
good luck and i hope you come to the right conclution
{{{hugs}}}
l
xxx

 

I think that as long as this is JUST a fantasy, it's fine. But if would be hard to tell if it was just a fantasy or something that he might actually do. Either way, have you talked to him about it?

 

well, if it freaked you out, it freaked you out. There's a variety of opinions here, just like there are a variety of people. Some girls would not have been freaked, some might have liked it. but the point it, you were freaked out. You've got to ask yourself, if he never did it again, would you still feel comfortable with him, - or - does just knowing that that is there freak you out? it depends on how big this was to you. Also, here's a bad idea - staying with him even though this sex thing freaks you out, but you don't think you'll find that same combo in another guy. Staying with a guy who's not right for you because you think you'll never be able to do better is not good - learn your lesson & let the universe take care of you. & if it's not such a big deal, talk it thru, and enjoy the guy

 

eeek..ok a fantasy is a fantasy and if its shared can be fun, but this has freaked you out and with good reason, your gut instincts tell you whjat you need to know
what do uhave a 2 week "relationship" thats already turned to creepiness?
you cant even say that, all you have is a guy you met you had good sex with but sweety, to some people good sex can mean anuything...1 girl i talked to on herfor her good sex was when she was nearly choked to death
good sex does not make true love
do you love him without the sex?
honnestly, if i were you i'd test your feelings real love would last while perverted abuse fantasies would turn to pure hell if you choose to take a few weeks break from all sex
think about it...ifg its true love he'll love you through anything...
if he only wants a toy to abuse, you cut him off it will turn to rage and will be very ugly..
but be warned if he really is as creepy as i suspect you ,may have a stalker situation on hand once you do, so be careful and protect yourself

 

Um.. I don't find it creepy at all.

I did find it bizarre when I first came across use of the "daddy" term about 5 years ago so I don't blame you. After awhile, it just became plain HOT.

You should however tell him that you're not comfortable with it at this time and need to figure out where his behaviour came from all of a sudden. Especially if he just broke out with it from nowhere.

Agreed with Ihmurria - "daddy" has more to do with power in a relationship and positions of authority than an actual fatherly/incestuous thing that is perhaps a bit extreme for some people.

Be gentle when you're talking to him anyway. You know it's nervewracking wanting that kind of fantasy too but yet not knowing if your partner would ever agree to it.

 

VERY common fantasy, dont be so discouraged

 

"let me molest you"? "call me daddy"? WTF!!!!? Umm, I know you love the man, but try listening to the warning bells going off in your head. This could be bad news...talk to him about it, then search his computer for Child Porn.

 

I say it is a bit strange... however... maybe its just a stupid fettish of his... talk to him about it in a public place... and i dono i guess just do what you feel is right.. if you found it really that strange that you would be affraid of beling alone with him quit if its not that bad and you really trust him.. try and ask him to not do it again

 

WOW white people i tell ya.