if something seems too good to be true...

it usually is.

but what sucks is getting a "taste". such a fucking tease and now im just pissed off and pissed off for being pissed off and wanna hang myself (not really)

 

also on that note

how long should people be punished for something they did when they were 19 that wasnt even THAT BAD. well obviously in my case... forever. that is right. forever. fuck it.

 

No way dude. There is nothing that is too good to be true.

We've been bred to believe that, well not exactly that, but things that lead to that conclusion. If I were full of contempt I might even blame this site for contributing to that very notion.

 

what did you do?

 

u dont get it. but that is cause i didnt explain but i feel like nothing is worth it because of what happened to me... what happened before and all because of something that happened when i was 19...

fucking money down the drain. fucking bullshit BULLSHIT!

progress? what is progress? i cant make progress unless this GOES AWAY!

 

okay since i am obviously dying to talk about this... here it is.


it's common knowledge to many on here that i have a felony on my record. its common knowledge to some on here that i CANT do mindless work etc.
the felony is cause when i was 19 my hubby and i used to sell esctasy... to friends that already did it. blah blah, got ratted out. felony. okay, i dont DO DRUGS anymore, i wouldnt sell drugs again, i paid my fines, did my time...

but im gonna be punished FOREVER!!!

exibit one... i was volunteering at hospice for a while. went thru 30 hours of training and LOVED it. i was gonna do inpatient work at first and then when i felt more comfy w/ it, go on to home hospice. it was something that was VERY important to me. i was upfront with them about my felony and all and they said they thought id still be able to do it. when they did my check though, nope.... rules had changed. i couldnt do it cause of the word "felony"

exibite two... about four weeks ago i got a job i LOVE.... doesnt pay on a grand scale but for a college student (which will be the next point)... it's a GREAT part time job... esp to a person that NEEDS (yes, needs) to feel that there work means SOMETHING!.... the kids like and respect me and so do my bosses and peers there. i couldnt believe i got the job.
today i found out at work that i am supposed to PAY to get a child abuse check (understandable) and criminal check... no felonies allowed. im not gonna PAY to get fired. i consider myself fired already. i quit. (there is always mcdonalds, trish)

exhibut three.... third year of college... psych major... dabbling in philosophy, anthro and sociology... love school. wanna do meaningful work

BUT ahhh.. the reality is. i might as well quit school. i wont get a job. so why bother? to torture myself more? to pay off student loans for NO REASON but fucking disapointment?! give me a break.

i understand what i did. but HOW FUCKING LONG DO I GOTTA BE PUNISHED?????

 

make your own job. you'll be the only one checking your record then

 

oh the job i have (had) is with an after school program for children at an elementary school with the y...

anyways ihmurria, good advice but must be said that that is easier said then done!

 

You dabbled in philosophy?

What means more, the means or the ends? I already know what you are going to answer and so do you. That isn't the reason I asked. I asked in order that you question why that answer is what it is. Because to a person like me, who apparently doesn't get it, you're complaining about the wrong thing.

 

much love to you. I have some advice (actually good advice lol) since I'm in the same field as you are. I am going to type it after I eat dinner with my mom. I'm sorry you're going through all of this. will write more later and I know it fucking bites Trish.

 

yeah it's the means and thanks...

i think.

 

thanks lynsey. i cant wait.

for real

it just hurts... i feel like i cant do anything without it coming back to THAT. can i somehow get it expunged? i dont know...

 

wow


you sound like me.

 

You used to deal E Alex?

 

no

i meant what she first wrote, not the specifics.

 

haha i was gonna ask the same thing. lol

 

uh huh! suuuure

 

Trish all I can say is that is trully shitty and I hope you can find a job that you like and will be able to keep because of the past issue. How did Dan get his job with a felony?

 

altho there is a no felony policy at D's work.. he had it a couple years before the felony occured. so yeah. if they ever find out, he is fired...

oh, that is also why he stays at a job that doesnt fulfill him.... the fact that he knows it will be difficult at best to find anything paying what he makes that wont do a check.

 

Wow Dan is still working at the same place.... good for him but yeah maybe you could look online on possible job that don't require a check like that or how long it takes for it to come off your record.