I

" ... hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that's real."

I bleed quite easily it seems.

 

so you cut yourself?

 

ill get my butchers knife

 

Everyday. Sometimes I sit there and wonder why I do it, and the only answer I get is "because you're pathetic". So I do it again. And again, and again, and try not to notice my fucked up logic.

 

you probably cut for the same reason most people inflict injury upon themselves and that is to numb some sort of emotional pain. you need to work out what the source of that pain is and a way to move past it other wise you will continue to want to cut.

its the same as alcoholisim

 

I actually get withdrawal from it. It like if something goes wrong I can function until I see that blood running down my arm.

 

"I actually get withdrawal from it. It like if something goes wrong I can function until I see that blood running down my arm."

i am not sure i completely follow, you get withdrawal from seeing the blood run down your arm?

 

What I mean is it's an addiction of sorts. If things are fucking up in my life, then I cut myself, and when I see the blood running down my arm, I suddenly feel a lot better. If I don't cut myself, I won't be able to function at all until I do, the thought of cutting would be on my mind constantly until I did.

 

the pain distracts you from your unhappiness with life, after a while you associate it with feeling better and create a correlation in your mind between the two. I deal with pain by numbing myself from everything, when things fuck up in my life i switch off and i just don't feel anymore

 

I used to be so lucky sooty. Then things went wrong, I was put on meds that would "help balance out my emotional deficiency" and look at me now. I wish I could find a way to be that girl again...

 

they always bring out the meds....

i have avoided that although they have considered putting me on meds but fuck that they'd have to stab me with a syringe and strap me in a chair before i took any medication. i was born with the natural ability to dissociate.

 

i like meds...

 

you would

 

i'd be careful what you say to me sooty, i might just put it in my sig, btw do you think my sig looks better now i updated it?

 

heheh i like the bunny

but it is missing a sooty quote. which is verrry dissapointing

 

Yeah, fuck medication.....I went off it cold turkey, and I'm doing a lot better *note sarcasm*

 

So are you suffering from a mental imbalance or is it something external in your life right now that is making you want to cut?

 

Probably a combination of both...but the biggest factor now is that I had a miscarrige and I've been very depressed over that.

 

good lyrics.

 

Yep. Good song in general until that nice loud wail of the guitars at the end.