I Want This Room

There's a back bedroom that I really wanted, so I moved all of my stuff into it........ However, apparently, my parents already had a plan for it.

They wanted to stuff all three of us, my sisters and I, into it to sleep, which is crazy. Three beds cannot even fit, even if one is a bunk bed and the other a twin.

The upstairs is two bedrooms, both can fit two beds.
My plan is, my sisters get a bunk bed in the larger room. (They love the larger room.)

I'm having a lot of difficulty coming up with reasons why I should have my parents do this... I'm writing an essay, even.

I can't tell them the biggest reason why I want it, which is because it's a perfect place for me to smoke my weed without any disruptions.

One reason I can think of to let me have the back room is it helps me focus because it's so plain that I don't have any distractions. (I can't focus worth shit even without the weed.)

What else can I mention? Pllleeasssee help me.

 

you could take the weed part out..

 

As in, stop, or not mention it?
Of course I'm not gonna tell 'em.
And.... there's not way I'm stopping any time soon.

 

It's their place and they've probably paid a large amount of hard-earned money for it.
Be grateful to have a roof, talk it through like an adult with your parents and try to reach an agreement, but ultimately, respect their wishes. Tell them why you feel it'd be better your way, but don't be pushy or moody about it, just say it matter of fact and see what they think.

 

Agreed. And don't smoke weed in their house. It's not your house, it's theirs, and if you refuse to quit, take it somewhere else like every other kid who still lives with their parents. If you can't respect your parents' wishes and their rules, you'd better start looking for a job and a place of your own. And if you're too young for that, then you should just be grateful you have a place to stay.

 

pay them rent for it...they probably wouldn't turn that down

 

^Also a good idea. Then you could feel a little more free to do with it as you please.

 

I really hate it when people accept a totally totalitarian dictatorship when it comes to parents. They are not people to view as your leaders, you should not be happy because you just have a roof over your head. The point that I'm trying to get across here is that in a family, everyone are equal. If your sisters want that room, and you need that other room to relax, your parents should accept that you have needs.

For my part, a room with 2 other people in it constantly would be impossible because I play a lot of music (I play the guitar), really aggressive metal. And a lot of video games.

Come up with arguments for why you would benefit from having that room. Ask them what their project is with the room, suggest where they could otherwise do the project. Like in the living room, or somewhere else.

Everyone must co-operate for each others needs in a family. Everyone must respect each other and make the best of it. Cramming 3 people into the same room won't fix things, especially if there isn't enough room for you even with a bunk bed.

Source: Lived in a 6 square metre large room with a loft bed, with a sister in the room just next to it, only separated by gypsum. Shit sucked, Still sucks. I'm glad we're moving to a house next week so I can get my basement to become a real failure!

 

100% bullshit

Do the kids pay an equal share of the costs? If not, then forget about this idea that everyone is equal...

You make yourself equal by shouldering your share of the burden. That means in money AND effort...

In other words, if you are living at home, with your parents paying the bills, supplying and making the meals, making sure you have electricity for the computer that you are using (that they also likely paid for)... don't even start to think you are an equal partner in that household...

You want to be an equal to your parents, go get a job, pay your share (5 people = 20% each) of ALL the bills and costs and do 20% of the work around the house...

Oh and if your sisters don't join you in this, as in they don't want to be equal partners, then guess what? It isn't your parents that have to make up that difference, it falls on them AND you...

 

Yes, in a home of all adults inhabitants, then they can share bills. But! It is the parents "job" to see to that their kids are well. The parents are there to support their offspring. Everyone in the home are of equal worth and should be treated thereafter.

The "kids do not bring in any money and are therefore inferior in a family" argument doesn't work. Because not all kids can have jobs. And all parents shouldn't have kids. In Sweden, where I live, you have to be 18 to get a job. And even then it's hard. Youth unemployment is huge here. Also:

I do not support the totalitarian dictatorship of parents. Everyone in the family are equal as human beings and should be treated as such. That means that everyone should have a right to a bit of space of privacy. Here in Sweden, that space is in your room.

I don't know how the majority in your country handles parenting, but I think it sucks. It is the parents job to see to that their offspring flourish. At least here in Sweden, many of us need to be somewhat solitary. "Loneliness" or time for oneself is of value here.

If the OP wants the room, and truly feels that she needs it to be able to relax, not just with weed , just overall that being 3 people in the same room is too much. Then I think that the OP should have the room, and her parents should instead of just deciding what rooms to use for what, talk to the children/teenagers/whatever to hear their opinions on the matter.

 

There is a huge difference in between helping your children flourish, and teaching them to be spoiled brats who know nothing about life and how to act during it.

You do not get anything in this world just because you think you should. You get it by working for it. Kids NEEDS must be taken care of, and they must be protected from predators absolutely, but in terms of giving into a child's demands just because, is what has caused this world to get to where it is now.

Everyone is growing up thinking that just by wanting something, someone else should go and work to earn the money to pay for it and then just hand it over to them... And you come in here saying that this is the way it SHOULD be?

Grow the fuck up....

 

Please - there's no reason to be rude, or try to cut others short.

All the OP asks for is help ... not for a sermon.

Peace

 

Yeah...I knew some kids whose parents were their "friends". Most of them are in and out of jail now. Or dead.

 

I agree with the sharing of duties and every being equal but only after the kids are adults...and I cant say exactly when kids become adults because its different for everyperson and every family

 

Could you take what I am saying more out of context? Just a tiny bit? Please?

Where have I stated that others should work for your things? Where have I stated that everything should be paid by others? Where did I say that parents should give into the kids demands at all times? Etc etc.

I am saying that the OP should get the room if the OP needs it. There's a difference between wanting and needing. That included: The parents shouldn't be greedy bastards. In difference to what you're saying where the parents are free to do whatever they want, "because they paid for it". Bullshit.

The parents responsibilities are the money. The kids responsibilities are getting educated.

That just means that the parents weren't good enough at raising the kids.

 

I did not say parents are free to do whatever they want.

What I said, quite clearly, is that as long as a child's needs are taken care of, then they are doing their job... A need is definitely different then a want... Let me help you seems you seem to misunderstand what that difference is.

You need shelter from the elements... If you don't have it, you may DIE...
This kid WANTS a private room... If he doesn't get it, he will still have shelter from the elements and LIVE...

See how that works?

Here's another...

You need food and water to survive... If you don't get them, you die...
You may WANT to have lobster and caviar... if you get potatoes and corn instead, you will still live.

Get it? How about another...

A kid needs protection from predators, as in people who are out to harm and/or use them for their own purposes, if they aren't protected, they could be seriously harmed or killed... A kid may want someone to wait hand and foot on them, but as long as they are protected, they will still live.

A private room, is not a NEED

Apparently, you failed in your responsibility as a child.

 

You're missing a "," somewhere in there. Also, I know what physiological needs are, they are quite obvious.

So let me get this straight, with your logic here then, as long as you have some form of shelter from the elements (could be a metal hut that fucks up your sleep whenever it rains). And your father beats you. And your mother yells and screams at you all the time, then they're doing a good job?

Because the kids physiological needs are fulfilled? Would you kindly GTFO?

For some people it is. I happen to know such a being. She lives in the room next to me, and we are separated by a gypsum wall. She absolutely hates and becomes depressed if I happen to have too loud music or too loud sound overall coming from my room. Psychological problems in other words.

She's been suicidal for a quite long time. And she has needed a private room, so I've adapted to her needs by using headphones, so she won't take the knife to her wrists again.

You too, mr Adhominem Attack. You too.

 

I agree.
It is the parents home and they did pay for it etc etc blah blah...
...but parents should still talk through things that will impact upon the children.
It's not like the OP is asking to re-finance the home to make a small independent film.
The OP is asking to have their own room.
I think that is reasonable.
If the parents say no after hearing the OP out, they'll have to accept that, but the parents should make a fair decision after consultation.

 

you know, I get you

I always like to do star jumps when i'm smoking pot, too!

 

why not just smoke the weed in the common area?

is it because you're not allowed to?

is it because you don't want to share?