I Told my Mom...

omg....I wanna cry.

I've been really depressed today, crying all the time. And my mom sense this and asked me what was wrong and I told her that I was gay.

She started laughing....like it was a joke, and I told her it wasn't.

I could see it hit her like ton of bricks.

She was not angry but really really grieving and kept saying it was a like a "blow to my stomach".

She assured me multiple times she will always love me, and that me and my brother are her life.

But she wants to do councelling....and suggested a Christian councillor, which I said no too...

She doesn't want my dad to know yet, and we agreed she won't talk to him until summer, when I'm away for 2 months.

But it really hurt her and hit her like a ton of bricks.

She realized my urges weren't a choice, but I could tell from what she was saying ("celibacy" came up a few times...) that she is repulsed by gay sex, and never wants me to do it.

She asked me if I was ever abused...uh...*crying*

But she made it clear she loved me, but she is shattered, and she also told me (before I told her) not to do or say anything in this town.

Meaning I think she is ashamed of it...

I'm glad to get if off my chest, but I'm hurting, she loves me and I know that, but she doesn't accept it.

I guess I have to wait.

I wasn't supposed to do this. I was supposed to wait.

*Cries!*

I told her to call my brother (who knows) next week, and I want her to watch this Christianity and Homosexuality documentary that I think may help her with her religious aspects on it.

I'm juust so shaky rate now and a bit scared.

 

This is the movie I want her to watch:

http://quicksilverscreen.com/watch?video=31326

 

aaawww I'm so sorry you're so upset.. It'll be ok though.. she'll get over the initial shock of it... my heart goes out to you!!
much love and peace!
*hugz*

 

That stinks man... hopefully she'll come around soon. *hug*

 

I'm sorry it's so upsetting for you and your mom.It'll turn out OK because she loves you.Hang in there.

 

Same as everybody, Sorry you're hurting. But folks are right. It will be OK. Your mom loves you. She had ideas and dreams about how your life might turn out. Now she has to redream her dreams about you. This all takes time. Be kind to you, this is a major step in life no matter what age.

 

Thanks. I called my brother and he is telling me I should tell my Dad ASAP, and its not right to have my mom fester this for months and keep it away from my father.

I think hes right...I'm going away on an exchange for 8 days during Spring Break, I am gonna tell my mom to tell him then. Gives them a whole week to talk and digest it all...

But yeah, she made clear to me she always will love me. But my mom has obvious issues with gay sex. It repulses her...and she has ideas like being a bachelor my whole life, being celibate...thats ridiculous, but at least she is realizing my urges are not a choice.

Its gonna take some time, but I plan to pray and I believe my mom will come around.

And I really want to do counselling (more for my parents than for me, I have no problem that needs to be counseled). That way my parents can have an outside person help them deal with this. And having someone to talk to myself would be nice...

I think for my mom, its about redefining her Christianity, and then she`ll truly accept me, and thats why I want to go through these verses with her, and get her to understand that homosexuality and gay sex is not a sin.

Yeah, but I can`t let one parent know, and have another in the dark, I have to have my dad know in the coming weeks.

I never plan to come out of the closet in my town, but it would be great to have loving and **accepting** parents before I'm out and start dating and such. But I have other relatives in Vancouver, who I don't plan to keep it a secret from. I'll keep it in the dark where I live now, but with my other connections I can start coming out.

It was hard though, because my mom was really devestated, I mean really devestated, she was on the verge of vomiting.

Now were playing 'normal' and like nothing has happened because my Dad is in the dark (for now).

But she came downstairs before she went to bed and prayed with me.

I was living in the dream-idea of the perfect "I love you (well I did get that), I accept you, their is nothing wrong with it" type response.

But I believe in time she will accept this.

In a way I feel relieved. Like within a few months my entire family will know, and I'll be free within my family (not to the world...yet).

I didn't go according to my master plan...but life isn't like that.

 

Good for you and your Mom. There is a really important book 'Christianity, Social Tolerance and Homosexuality" by John Boswel, I believe. It's available cheap through Half.com and other booksellers. It explores the early church and how gay people were not even thought of as out of the ordinary. There were gay union ceremonies, a lot of gay church and civic leaders. The Bible said nothing negative about them then. People changed the Bible, not God. Maybe you and your Mom should read it together. God made you just how he made you cause thats what He wanted for you. He gave you the capacity to love, to be a good man, to be of value to other people in your life. Nothing has changed, save for the fact that now your Mom knows a bit more about who you really are than she did. You're still her son, she still loves you.

You're doing fine with all of this even if it does feel like Chaos. Steve

 

Yeah, I told my mom I want to go through some material with her.

Its the religious thing with her, if I can get her to the epiphany of realizing the Bible and Christianity does not make homosexuality or gay sex a sin, she will truly accept me.

Thats why I have this movie, and that book too probably, among other stuff, I want my mom to go through in the coming months to understand better.

She is in her 50s, and was raised in the fundamentalist christianity, so its gonna take awhile, but I have faith she can change.

It just feels chaotic rate now, but in a few months I will be able to be semi free.

 

"unt ze female homosexual has never recovered from her anger over not having ze penis" "i do know this one girl, heather, who goes back and forth but she's a..." "SHUT UP!"

Good idea, the movie really hits on some good points.
Wish you luck man.

 

Shell get over it... Try not to be to gay all at once and ease her into it... Its probable a shock to her if your whole family is hetrosexual... But its your mom who need help dealing with it,, I suggest that you receive counsoling together..And not push her denial any futher that you have already... Take a step back now... Try not to be so upset... And give your mom a day or two to soak it in.... Let her sleep on it a while..

 

I dont know what that means... How can you be... to gay? Do you mean he should not date for a while?

Anyway, to the creator of this thread. I just came to post to tell you I support you and you are courageous for telling your mother. You cant hide who you are! God Bless (if you believe in that kinda thing. )

 

lol, I won't be dating for a few years, so nothing to worry about their.

 

First, I admire the courage you have as a 15 year old. I came out as a 20 year old, and I wish all the time that I had sooner. The important thing is to give your parents time to deal with it. You're being very proactive about it, so that's great. Still, it will take time before everything feels 100% right again. It will never happen as fast as you want it to, but when it does, it will fell great. I push therapy all the time in my line of work, so counseling sounds like a really good idea. Take things as they come and press the issue later on if you have to. It sounds like your brother is being very supportive, so use that resource a lot. All else fails, people have your back here. Wishing you all the best.

 

If you have to ask that then you probable not GAY enough.... YET...

 

My parents despise gay people, but you know what; if they disown me for being gay (ill tell them once i move out- i cant have problems now while I'm in college) then it goes to show they don't have unconditional love for me so fuck them. I would NEVER go to counseling for who i am; fuck anyone who thinks it's wrong.

 

canucker... try not to worry because she is your mom, she loves you.

also, listen to puzuzzu. be yourself! fuck what other people think.

 

Hi

You are obviously under allot of emotional pressure, and it is a very good idea to get it out. With that in mind private face to face prof,counciling would be probably be of benefit to you. And yes Christianity (depending on the type of christianity and the type of organization,church) should probably come out of that process. Some of them I would imagine as being positively harmful.

Your a brave man.

Take care

 

oh what happen now

 

Hi how's it going "slfador"