i really need advice on straight friend

Hello folks. I would have never thought id join a gay forum. Its not that I'm not comfortable with my sexuality. But I'm not out with it as I don't like the idea of flaunting it. I'm still exploring things. Anyway, I have this friend I met through work a year ago. This guy is super attractive but I knew it would be impoasible to ever get eith him but I decided to atleast be friends. Within that year we became really close and I gained much resect for him. He has had girlfriends so I know he's straight. Well a few weeks ago he was kicked out of his home and needed a place to stay so I told him he could stay with me a few days. Well that first night he laid in my bed. I thought to myself well if he doesn't mind sleeping with me that's cool. I wouldn't have expected anything to come from it. Well it started where he put his leg on me. Then I scooted closer to him and he literally began to dry hump me. I thought it was a jokr but he kept going. We then removed each others underwear and continued. I never sucked a cock but after I jacked him off I did it. . We cuddled the rest of the night and he got up panicking saying "I'm not gay I'm straight". It was kinda weird the next mornin but the next night I gave him a back and foot massage. Snce then I had given him atleast 4 foot massages. I began to notice during the weeks after that he was different. We were still close but he was kinda distant. After a couple weeks yesterday I finally told him we had to talk. Last night I told him I felt things were different between us. Keep in mind we had never talked about the things we did. I was like every since a few weeks ago you have been different towards me. He said "what do you mean? After all that gay shit?" I was shocked he brought it up cause I wanted to tall about it. He saod can't we just forget about it. I said well its knd of hard too. He sad he wasn't gay amd was just really high. I said well you initiated most of it he said in the beginning when he dry humped me he was joking but I respondedev back and that's why things led to another. I said did you enjoy any of it? (He was really hard the eholr timr) he said the back and foot massages but nothing else) everything else was weird and he can't be gay. He then said he is not attracted to me what so

 

Ever. I got quiet. I thought we had something a we do have a deep emotional type friendship. I thought that we could just continue a touchy feely friendship but not be involved romanticaly. He said nothing would change between us. He said he thought I was just being curious or I might be bisexual. I asked "well don't you think you might be sinve you initiated much of it. He said "no I can't be lovong a gay lifestyle I'm not gay". Somrthing telld me he isn't telling the full truth. He then said he didn't want to talk about it anymore and wanted to forget it like it didn't hapoen. I'm now torn. I love this kid. I never felt this way for someone. Ever. Never cried about a guy until this morning. Can I please get you alls advice. Is he bi, straight, in denial? Does he have feelings for me? Is it possible for him to get hard ons by me if he isn't attracted to me? He has said things like I love you and I like your personality before. I'm so lost now. And not sure if I should just stop talking to him. I'm glad we finally talked about it but I need someone to tell me what's going on here. Btw he got a new girlfriend.

 

1. Paragraphs
2. How old are you?
3. Even if he IS gay, he is clearly too closeted for you to hope for any sort of meaningful relationship with him at this point in his life.

Don't give up the friendship unless you feel it would be too hard to just be friends.

Things will work out for you, don't worry, ups and downs are part of the ride. Give it some time, you will be fine.

 

The Really Sad Part About This Thread Is, After All

That Typing, Methinks Your Wrists Will Be Too Sore To Enjoy Your Much

Loved "Personal Moment" For A Few Days....



Cheers Glen.

 

Thanks for the advice so far folks. I typed from my phone so it was even worse but I had to get this all out in the open. Sorry for the typos. I'm 23 he will be 20 in september.

 

The guy is incredibly confused and probably very scared. It cannot be determined right now, who he wants, what he needs, or what he'll decide. Time is his only friend. And you. He needs your patience. Tons and tons of patience!!!

 

I know he was raised to accept jesus christ. He knows I am no longer religious but his family instilled religion in him big time. Not sure if that plays a part. Like I said he still wants to be friends but I don't want to continue if he will act slightly weird around me. I've helped him through some rough situations because of the love as a brother type friend but all I know is I really care about him and I don't want or know how to label that care. I don't want it labeled I just want it to be. The reason I cried this morning was because I don't wannt our great friendship to deteriorate. I liked the casual non awkward flirting we kinda had before we got physicql and awkward. I agree maybe patience is needed from me.

 

It'll be mostly up to you to return it back to the way you like it. For now a relationship is not possible. If a friendship is what you want, then just make the leap in your mind that nothing ever happened. It's a rough situation. Acceptance for what it is and patience will get your through.

 

You guys don't think I should just stop talking to him and give him his space. Its weird how he got a girlfriend right after all that happened. I don't mind being friends but I think. A friendship where we can remain comfortable around each other like being close like we were before is ideal. I still haven't heard from him since last night and we usually keep in touch even wwhen we don't hang. I've never felt so empty and confused lol. Can't believe this love the crept up on me. Iim pretty well guarded but something made me feel comfortable around this guy. It felt naturual what we dis. Not weird or forced.

 

Well he text me about something random so now were having a casual conversation.

 

Things have to blow over a little bit. That explains why he hasn't resume the normal interactions. A "crisis" causes that between two people. He had a moment with you, and for now needs to ruminate on it, sometimes by talking, sometimes privately. Try your best to be objective, non-judgmental, upbeat, sincere, natural. You need to give him the message that you accept either way he chooses. I can't advise you too much on the "love". It might be confusion on your part too. Patience!

 

This is getting more confusing, please help. I'm drinking my problems away.

 

Sounds like my friend, yet my friend is a tad more open but we haven't done anything sexual in at least a year. That bugs me as I do want some, however I really don't want to him feel awkward and shy a way.

You're friend sounds like a worse case since he just got a new girl. He isn't going to change his mind about being straight any time soon. So I wouldn't lose a good friend over something that might never happen.

 

CY4.....the emotions are going to be rough. It's infatuation right now. Don't mistake it for love. His own world has been severely shaken as well. If there wasn't so much at stake for each of you, it would be nice if you could turn to each other for support. Talking it out is ideal. Just beware that he may not say what you want. Nevertheless, you have to be honest.

 

this, actually explains a lot. those raised Christian always have the hardest time coming to terms with having, or even being around a non-straight lifestyle/sexuality (i was raised Mormon, and i had a bit of a hard time with it myself. but i got everything sorted before i ever even considered relationships with ANYONE) if you want my opinion, i'd say he's conflicted and in denial. he's torn between what he thinks now and what he was taught all his life. and let me warn you, being with somone who is closeted in ANY way is INSANELY stressful. my Ex was closeted to his family, but out to his friends. as a result we basically had to lead a double-life around his family, and he avoided ALL physical contact unless we were behind TWO locked doors. and i'm a very physical guy.

to be honest, sexuality is something that people really need to work out themselves. put off any thoughts of having a relationship with this guy until he gets himself sorted. until then the best you can do is be supportive and try and help him through it.

i could be completely off-base though. for all i know the guy could be straight and i'm just reading into it wrong. in that case again, you'll have to put ideas of having a relationship with him away. because then it just won't work out no matter what you do.