There's some complications... I haven't seen her for most of a year, since she transferred to night school. It was only a few weeks ago I found her number and called her up. She's been going out with this dude for over a year and they're supposedly engaged (no ring though, and I think they just say they're engaged so they have a reason to be dating). We've been hanging out for a few weeks (we've been friends for a long time, just lost contact for a while), and I'm getting along with her much better than her boyfriend is. We're interested in the same things, we talk about everything, and she even says she likes to hang out with me more than him. She even described her "dream guy" as her current boyfriend, only with blond hair and blue eyes (both of which yours truly has). I'm almost certain that we would be dating if not for the engagement. Also, I've learned that he was her first partner in bed, which complicates matters. Since he was her first, I fear she has become attached to him because of that. Kind of like "he makes me feel go so I'll stay." This saddens me greatly because I'm still a virgin, and would have given anything for us to be each other's first. There's nothing more pure than that, in my opinion. He was suspicious of me when I would hang out with her when he was at work, but she assured him we weren't up to anything (and we weren't.) Also he never seems to be interested in ANYTHING she is. He's always talking about cars and her ass, while I can talk to her about anything in the world! And we both love nature and animals, and she has to struggle to get him to even go to the park with her! I know we're a perfect match, but I don't know what to do about him! She seems to have some feelings for him still, but I don't know if they are for the right reasons! HELP!!!
Do yourself a favor. Go date and experience other women. She's seeing you as the part she does not have in him and your a friend.
She is just having you as a "back up plan"- in case something doesnt work out between her and her b/f, she always has you. You can hang out with her but do not build your dreams and hopes around her. When I was 18 (24 now) I thought I would never have sex outside marriage, and all that silly virginity stuff. I am not saying that you should sleep with everybody who comes around, just do not treat virginity as something toooo special. I saw it as something REALLY special, and built dreams around it, and ended up with a broken heart. I thought my first one will be the one for life...this thinking was so wrong. Virginity is just anatomical term.
Yeah, the virginity thing isn't the biggest deal ever, but the fact that he's had so many before her just seems a bit unfair, ya know? She's way too good for him~
yeah... there is really nothing you can do but move on or just wait it out, and if she finally realizes that he is a douchebag, then you'll be there, and all the power to ya. but you can't count on it working out like that, keep in mind. oh and for the virginity factor, yeah i guess its special to an extent, it would be nice having your first time be someone that you care about... (not in my case) its your decision to abandon ship or stay, really. do what you think is best.
Ladies, forgive me for saying this.... but it sounds like Kab's woman has a pure case of female indecisiveness... You're setting yourself up for heartbreak Kab... there's other fish in the sea. If anything were to come of this, she would have to come to you - not the other way around. Move on and hope for the best.
