I need advice! Please please please help

This is my first post on this forum, so hi to all on it! Anyway, my life sucks and I need to know how to make it suck less-I am in thousands and thousands of dollars worth of debt and no way to pay it off. I work and put almost all my money toward repaying my debts but it barely makes a dent. I know it's my own fault for getting myself in this deep and would otherwise be able to deal with this, but now the rest of my life is in crisis too. My longtime boyfriend (whom I love more than anything)'s mother is dying, and she's his only relative and he's taking this really really badly. She never liked me all that much and now that she is going to die my boyfriend seems to be starting to resent me. He now spends all his time with his mother and barely has time to talk to me, and when he does the conversations are strained because we are both just so depressed. I also never see him anymore because we do not live together and I have to work a lot and he has to spend all his time with his mother. Due to certain circumstances I never hang out with the people I thought were my friends anymore so I am so lonely. It just gives me time to think about how my mother in law is going to die, my boyfriend seems ready to leave me, I have no friends, and no money or real prospect for getting money. The only things stopping me from suicide are knowing that my boyfriend doesn't need anymore stress and my family would inherit my crushing debts. I need to know what to do. I need to make more money and I need to improve my relationship with my boyfriend, if for nothing else but to be there for him in his time of need. Please help.

 

there comes a time and a place to cut losses and as for past bills either file them off or just dont pay em and ignore them, they will go away. WIll take years but they do finally die off. The companies charge them off. As for the boyfriend and mother issue, ask if you can go, show support, even if she dont like you, show you care for her and her problems, let your boyfriend know you care and want to help, to be there for both of them. Tell him you understand that perhaps she and you wil never be great freinds but that you want her to understand you do care for her.

Never let debts get you down, if you own nothing, dont make enough they can do nothing, just change your phone number to unlisted, write not at this address on all mail from them and they will soon be stumped and it will stop. Hell I knew a guy that had an answering machine and the message was "I call you later unless your a bill collector and in that case kiss my ass!" I thought it so funny. They cant take blood from a turnip and most say they will go to court but wont because they know if they do you stand a chance of the judge forcing them to charge off the debt due to your inability to pay.

 

Im only on here when I get to a truck stop that allows me to use my laptop, I drive for a living so hit and miss when on here.

 

Persephone--you should post this in a women's forum.There are many smart and empathetic women and girls there .I wish I could say something to make you feel better.I probably can't,but as far as your debts go ,maybe talk to a debt consolidation business so that you can maybe make one payment a month toward them,thereby leaving some $ for you.It really helps to be organised.As to the other scene,I'll leave it to others.But please,don't hurt your self .You probably have 40,50 more years to go on this plane of existence----think of all the fun and wonderful adventures you will have--when this all passes.And it will.Some changes we are ready for and some we are not.These changes that are now happening around you--you probably didn't anticipate--but you can ride them out.Remember--it's what life throws at us that reveals character--in other words--how we react to the crap that shows up!I'm sorry I couldn' be more helpful.-------Hang in--Love --scratcho--------

 

thanks for the advice-is that true about ignoring bills until they go away? I don't plan on doing that but people must every day. I have had such a bad experience with the one credit card company-First Financial USA-they call me constantly and have even harassed my family, calling me and my mother in the middle of the night a few times. They are so rude on the phone too. I think today I just go so fed up because I accidentally overdrew my bank account by 6 dollars, which turned into 111 dollars because there is a 105 overdraft fee, and I got a traffic ticket for having the LIGHT ABOVE MY LICENSE PLATE out-the cops screamed at me till I was in tears for this bullshit. Bad times.

 

Lots of people have financial struggles when they are your age. Don't despair. You have a few options. First of all DO NOT get further in debt. Talk to a financial councellor. In Canada, you can find one through the United Way or another non-profit/community agency. They will figure out your debt load, talk to your debtors, and keep them at bay while you can make the installments. You can make arrangements to drop off a set amount with the financial service agency and they then distribute the $$. The councellor can also tell you whether or not bankruptsy is an option fo ryou. This should be a last resort because banks will NOT like you when you are ready to settle down and purchase your first home etc. The community financial agency would be your best bet... they will stand up to the creditors, and fid out what you really owe ... like knock off some of the accrued interest etc.

Don't panic and take care. Keep in touch with friends and family who make you feel good. Don't worry too much cause it can be worked out. At least youre not a meth addict or something ..... sorry I know that's not very compassionate but I want you to look at the brightside!

 

If you are really thinking about suicide, go see a counsellor/psychologist right away.

 

No I guess I'm not really thinking about suicide, but the thought has crossed my mind too many times for my own comfort. Thanks for all the advice. I think I am gonna call a debt management service.