I love a girl

Hmmm How do I say this....I was with a girl for about 5 years. We broke up because I was a jackass. I was unfaithful. She has since moved on. She has been with him for almost a year, but I know I she still loves me.. I know what I did was wrong and I've tried everything in my power to get her back. The guy she is with is not right for her. She and I still talk almost every other day. She complains about all the things about him to me. I know this is all over the place, sorry. I still love her. For those months I went to bed and contiously thought about her face and her actions when she found out about me cheating. Just so I could just try and taste some of her pain, so I could try and feel what it was like. I know I'll never feel or even come close to the pain she felt. But I tried . Is there anything I can do I need some options. I think I tried everything, to get her back. I know she is the one. I tried being with someone else and I broke it off and told her that I was still in love with my ex-girlfriend. I can't get over her I think of her non-stop, and it hurts me beacuse the only reason she is with the other guy is because he will not cheat on her. She pays for him, drives him everywhere, and show her no respect. Its not just her I'm hearing this from its her friends to. I just want to be with her. I fucked up I know this so please don't say anything about the cheating thing I just want advice about what I should do to get her back. I still love her after all the months apart. Hopefully their is someone out there that can help me. I would thank you all so much. I love her so much.

 

Don't tell us, tell her - complete with the humble (if it is genuine..) attitude and the "forgive me, I've learned my lesson the hard way," approach. Spending some coin on her (flowers, jewelry (no expensive jewells!,) and a catered dinner for one for her some off-night might help. No begging tho, it makes you less the man and more the type who cheats. Straight forward "I hurt, I was wrong, I love you!" Good luck, even though I hate things like what you did!!

 

Say "Im sorry". Told her 10000.... times how sorry you are. If she is still in love with you, she will come back to you
Good luck

 

I know this is not what you want to hear, but it's the truth. No girl in their right mind will go back with a man that cheated on her, unless of course she's a cheater too. I was with my x b/f for 3.5 years. He cheated on me. He tried getting me back, but there's no way in hell I would take him back. If you do want to try though, then just sit her down and tell her how you feel.

 

Yeah I second what Bumble said.

If I was in an exclusive relationship, and my partner cheated on me, I highly, highly doubt I would ever give her another chance, ever.

That being said, I don't like exclusive relationships for that reason. Not because I'd cheat or anything, but because I probably wouldn't trust the other person not to. After all, you can't be cheated on if you say it's okay, right?

 

I can not agree with you two.
The guy said he KNOW how big mistake he has made, Im sure that if this girl give him one more chance - he will love her even more and he will never cheat on her again

 

Anastazija you can never know for sure!

 

BUT - she can try
Marija, you gave your bf 2nd chance. Arent you happy now with him?

 

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I might of had a break through this weekend. Although I think its one of her my boyfriend is being a ass so I know who can make me feel better. I tol her and promised her that I can't promise her a huge house and a million things. But I can promise her my love. She said your word means alot to me. This is the first time since everything went down that she said that she believes what I'm saying and it seemed like she can trust me again. I bought her flowers, I also bought her a cross necklace for her birtday awhile back. I don't want to buy her love back I want her to just love me completely. She also said that the main reason for not wanting to hang out with me is because she can't trust herself around me because she feels like shit afterwards because she misses me more and its easier for her to forget her feelings for me. I could still use some more help with getting her back. I can't sleep at night and I can't stop thinking about her. Its a pain that proves my love for her. I was thinking of doing the "say anything" move with some Peter Gabriel rocking since that was our song. Thats the only thing I didn't do yet.

 

no girl would ever to return back to someone who lied to her. what i would advise you to do is tell her that you are xtremely sorry for what happened? tell her how much you love her no matter how many times you need to do so .just do it for the sake of your own love man .
i know what i am telling you as i have been in such a situation myself and i got some good advices from this site http://www.iwishisaidno.com/forum/1673-i-regret.html
i am sure that you will get some help

 

The way I see it is, things will never be the way they were for you two, cuz man, you already blew it. You broke any chance you ever had at her trusting you ever again when you were unfaithful. There are just some times when a second chance isn't deserved, and this is one of them. Try to move on and not make the same mistake again. If she's with the wrong guy, hopefully she'll realize it soon and find someone else as well.

 

I still love her I will never stop loving her..I will not move on because I know we are suppose to be together forever.

 

i have no sympathy for people who cheat.

not only did you hurt her but sounds like she ended up with a guy who treats her like shit - probably partly coz you treated her badly and she has lost her self worth.

 

like fastswitch said ...........

and I dont agree that people CANT forgive. It all depends on the person and how big their heart is.

Your ex may indeed forgive you ... but even so... she will never forget. The only thing you can do IF yall get back together is work to build trust .... and even if yall get together again... it can be years before some of that hurt goes away from her for what youve done.

My parents have been married 26 years. During those years Ive known that my father was unfaithful many times... not usually physically, but... seeking out old girlfriends and stuff, with intentions .... and later he would feel guilty and apologize to my mother........ (the apologizing part was largely due to them being "christians" ... and so it was the thing to do, although I think he did it just to clear his mind and not feel like a "sinner") ...... but for whatever reason ... every few years the shit starts happening again.... and alll these years Ive wondered why they even stay together... but, my mom just kept forgiving him. But she will admit now, that after being hurt so much... there is so little feeling left there........ but for the longest time, that woman forgave and stuck with him, sought out counseling etc etc ...... why? because she said she loved him.

Theres one thing about apology that must be noted. To be truly apologetic, it means to make an "about turn" ...... to be totally and completely sorry and NEVER want to make the same mistake again. To do everything within ones power to never let that weakness back in. You do sound truly sorry. I think if you were with her again that you wouldnt make that error again.

Heres a lesson we all learn .... sometimes we dont know what we have until we dont have it anymore............

All you can do... is be there, as a friend only right now, and rebuild that trust... I think that love has the potential to be a very powerful thing... and it can also overcome any obstacle, if the heart is truly sincere.

So be sincere and let her know. If it is meant to be ... it will come around again.

 

Think about why you cheated in the first place. Talk to her about it, if you haven't already. Did you tell her or did she find out? Were you honest about everything else?

Tell her everything. Tell her how you feel, why you love her, be sincerely apologetic and understanding. She obviously cares about you and still loves you. She needs to know that you made a mistake and why, and be assured that you'll never do it again (if she can be).

Like free2fly said, just be there right now. She won't forget about you.

 

Thank you free2fly. That meant alot. I actually got to hang out with her last week and it was great. We went to a private beach and swam talked and laughed the whole time. I even got to talk with her mom. Her mom even noticed a change in my attitude and she finally understood how strong my feelings are for her daughter. I have been talking to her every night now for about a week. We have been talking and it seems like the world has stopped again. I haven't felt this good for awhile. The only thing that I'm worried about is that I've been bending over backwards and get nothing in return. Now I can understand I shouldn't get anything in return but how much is to much. Like I went to New York and Atlantic City and Bought her something in New York, and walked around The beach at Atlantic City and looked for sea shells that were perfect. It just seems that I go out of my alot and its really hard to do all this and get nothing in return. Is this being selfish because if it is I'll stop I just don't really know. Another thing I tell her when I'm gonna call sometimes and she doesn't even pick up or acknowledge me, basically if I didn't call she wouldn't call me. Please just help me out in these cases. Oh and thank you all for your help! I keep my head up and work on being the man that she makes me want to be!

 

your welcome
... Im glad to hear that things have improved between both of you.

Actually Im honestly not a good person to be giving advice ...
But here goes:
After you're sure she knows you are sincere and have proven to her that you care for her, and have somehow told her that you are sorry and would like to try again.... THEN, give her some space. Back off for awhile. If she cares about you she'll miss you... and start thinking about being with you instead of that other guy...

I wish I could tell you what would work but I dont know... I really cant be of much help here I guess... I can only repeat what Ive read on relationship articles and observed in other couples ... but I havent had a successful relationship yet, so, I dont know ...

Best of luck to you and I hope things work out for the best!

 

Jeez I seemed really happy with my last little write in on the subject. Well as always I have no clue what I did. I haven't talked with her for about 2 weeks now. Yeah It sucks bad. I actually met someone and that has been keeping my mind busy lately. I actually told her everything that was going on in my life. Its actaully fun hanging out with her and talking with her. I still love my ex as much as I ever will. I just don't want to lead the new one on so I told her nothing can come of it. I just don't understand how everything was going so well and then she stopped calling me. I can never make any sense out of the things she does anymore. Oh well I'm still alive and still in love with someone that will never love me back. My fault just so everyone knows that I do know this. Later I'll keep posting and I'll still try. But the whole if she loves you she'll come to you. Well I'm waiting for her to come to me. I'm giving it a shot, since its the only thing I didn't try.