I like men but not sure if I should action it.

I like men. I sometimes find them attractive. I have a few of what could be called, gender confusion issues where I enjoy the idea of seeing myself in a female sexual role. I am fine with being a man other than sexually.

Since I was 14 or 15 I have been attracted other man's penis. I have fantasized about anal sex done on me but I'm not going to do that just yet. I am at a point where I am deciding what I am and what I want to do. I like girls. I've never had a girlfriend but I have screwed around with women before. Here is the thing. I've never been able to fuck one in the vagina and achieve climax. I usually cum through oral or handwork. I'm basically a bit of a limp dick.

I want to suck another guy off but I am shit scared. I think this is where the gender confusion bit come in because I don't want to just do it. It'd be easier if someone older than me was nice to me and let me take it slowly. I want to do it but I don't want to be some sex crazed lunatic about the whole thing just yet. I also want the other guy to genuinely enjoy it.

I can see myself enjoy a homosexual relationship with someone older than me. I need a run down on how this all works. Are there men out there that actually enjoy fucking other men and getting blow jobs from them ? Or are all men basically the same as me and wanting to take on a woman's role ?

I'm tall and am very well built. I'm not sure how that will impact my desirability to other men. I'm 24 turning 25 soon. I'm capable of giving this all miss, but I'd like to explore my gay side. I sent out a message on a site that is used to networking that I'd like to blow someone and got a few replies. Not sure if I should respond to them or not..

Are these feelings I should repress or act on ? Confused here.

 

I was in the same situation as you, really. I ended up meeting with a couple of guys for discrete sex meets (i just gave the first few guys oral and recently took anal for the first time - all car sex late at night with older guys). But i'm not out or anything like that. I don't really know what advice to give you to be honest. But i enjoyed the "naughtiness" of sneaking out at night and meeting with men much older than me (was very nervous each time tho!!!)

 

Afraid I have no useful advice. Only that I would love to have a male playmate to be affectionate with. I do not like ruff sex or S&M. I do like caressing, mutual masturbation and oral sex. I just like the feel of another guys erection in my hand. Running my tongue around the head of a dick. The feel of warm cum being ejaculated into my mouth. And, having those things done to me.
<(^o^)>

 

There is no reason for you to repress any of your feelings. This really does not work, and is very counterproductive. Repression is usually ruinous.

Like you say, you are a bit of a limp dick. This is a good indication that sex with females is really not your thing. You know that bit.

Do not subscribe to the reigning urban myth that all the gay dudes out there are sex-crazed lunatics, who are trying to satisfy their most basic needs only. Just like everyone else, many gay dudes are out there looking for a fulfillment or as much as they can get out of it. They too, want to really enjoy it, just like you do. It is however, up to you to take the initiative and hook up with the like-minded guy.

Yup, there are loads of guys out there, older than you, who would absolutely love to have a young, tall and good-looking fellow to be friends, buddies or even partners with. Quite a few of them are total tops and would welcome a relationship of any kind with a qualified bottom dude. The fact that you are "tall and very well-built" will be welcome with most tops.

The run of things:

#1
Lighten up. Gay sex is loads of fun. Leave your fears and insecurities and confusions behind you. Those are just the self-imposed obstacles to your happiness.

#2
Make a good plan. You are looking for a guy, who is a bit older, top, in good condition. Take your time and network with the right guy. Take more of your time (within the reason) and get to know the dude first. Meet at the comfy public place, go for lattes or drinks, enjoy some convo and decide, if there is a vibe between the two of you.

#3
Correct your lingo. Stop talking about yourself taking the female role. Go for, "I'd like to bottom for the right guy." The 'female role' lingo will imply that you are some sort of a tranny or that your demeanor might be kinda girly. Most guys are into masculine guys with manly manners even when they are looking for an exclusively bottom dude.

#4
Do not let the undue haste spoil your plans. Timing is everything. Take reasonable time to get to know the guy and establish without reasonable doubt that you are dealing with a decent dude and not a douche-bag of a kind. Usually, two to three dates with the right guy ought to do the trick. Be prepared to endure a number of both fakes and flakes in your quest. This comes with the territory. Organize your dating to suit you within the reason. Avoid long drives, guys who do not have cell phones and guys who are too busy to meet up.Make sure that, if the guy does not show up or does so, but is not to your liking, you act accordingly and move swiftly on. Wasting his and your time is in nobody's best interest.

#5
Communicate. Tell your top dude that you are a new guy to all of this and that you need some help and a bit of coaching here. A good, genuine top guy will simply love the challenge, and if you spell out your limits and desires clearly, he'll respect them. It always takes two to tango and you ought to show a degree of flexibility, too. Stay safe, no matter what.

#6
Take it nice, slow and easy in every respect. Do not be overwhelming. If you like the guy and if the sex works for you, start dating, develop friendship and start spending time both in the bedroom and out of it together. Let the things take their course, rather than laying out a definite plan of jumping straight forward into a committed-long term and monogamous relationship. Overdoing your planning is very dangerous for many reasons. You do not want to appear manipulative for one; and you also want to demonstrate that your relationship of any kind with another guy depends on him as much as it depends on you. Many older and more experienced top guys will naturally try to take the lead. Support this, while reasonably safeguarding your own interests, too.

#7
Once you learn the ropes, you'll see that the sex is virtually everywhere and that it takes very little time and effort to organize a satisfying 'romp in the hay', if you will. Once you get there, review your options and decide, what's right for you.

KD