I kinda wanna cut myself

I tried it once while hoped out on percs and sleep deprivation
I was feelings really masochistic so I did it

it's not for the whole blubbery emotional thing with me, I have a pretty good hold on my emotions

and it's not for the self mutilation either - that's the only thing that keeps me form doing it

I just like pain sometimes
I've purposely burnt myself while high once too...

but yeah

I've tried to think of ways I can hurt myself that wouldn't bruise or scar, and sometimes I'll bite myself when I'm bored, but when I actually feel like I want pain, it isn't enough

I'm not actually going to cut myself, I guess this title is semi-misleading
I guess my question is, how should I hurt myself?

ohh, and I know I could always just resist the urge, but I don't always want to...

 

peircings?
iimagine an icepick through the ol genitals might be enough pain

tats hurt too
oh how bout suspension?
like the sundance
except hooks through your eyelids?

ahh u kno in freezin weather u lick a pole & your tongue sticks?
sneak up behind a car at a redlight...lick the bumper & wait for the light to turn green

 

too bad none of that's around me =P

maybe I will cut, and give myself one of those real shitty homemade tattoos

that must be fun

 

it's not for the whole blubbery emotional thing with me, I have a pretty good hold on my emotions

that paragraph has me just a bit concerned.. having a hold on your emotions..not getting all blubbery..
typical of cutters...denying the emotional causes
nah it cant be i'm sad..i dont get sad..i just like hurting...
see what i mean?

 

I see what you mean, I did kinda set myself up for that =P

but yeah, I cry (didn't for a long time, but now I am able to again) and write and draw and stuff

I've thought about it beingg linked to emotions, and it just doesn't seem to work out
it comes more at times when I'm just bored
it could have a sexual link, I'm not saying it does, but it seems possible

 

its possible..its not alwaysa negative thing
and sometimes can even be a spiritul thing

just be careful how you explore it and make sure its safe..and do contemplte the reasons
damn i neeed to sleep
i'll talk toya tomoro.lol

just ...choose constructive not destructibve wats

 

Going through depression myself. Have thought about cutting myself bad or doing something else, but one has to fight the temptation. In my life, everything is all tears for fears, roads without names and towns without postcodes and where everyone wears masks and there is no sunshine, just the fucking rain of bitterness.


You are not alone although i often feel like I am in nowhere and the words A-l-o-n-e chase after me day and night.

We really should have a problems and life's struggles forum on here.

 

i agree
john..are u havin a real bad day?

 

altho i hate fueling any type of self-destruction with suggestions

Try
piercings? even if its just the earlobe.
Stick your hands into freezing bowels of ice water
wear a rubber band around your wrist and snap it hard.
Join a club like boxing or karate where you can do sparring
punch a brick wall
BDSM maybe?

endless possibilites for your masochistic desires that arent as destructive as cutting and burning.

 

dont punch brick walls...u can seriusly fuck up your fist that way..

 

Very true!

ok no brick walls.. unless thats the type of pain your going for.

 

I Totally Understand you Adam...

Sometimes I Really Crave Pain...

Want Someone to Just Hit me or Something...

Instead I will get my Cat to Attack me...

 

Geez oh man, don't go mutilating yourself Duck! Find another outlet of some sort! I don't like to hear of anyone doing things like that.

 

Take up boxing, that's what I did, if you want to be hurt, then that will work perfectly! Plus, then you will be in shape and strong as shit
Edit : Not for the same reason though! I would never cut myself, I jsut wanted to be in better shape.

 

just for you, I won't ever do it again

 

Call me skeptical, but I don't believe that for a second.

 

you should, cause it's true

 

put your hand in some water and ice and hold it..dont hold it more then 2 min tho or u can damage your nervous system

 

I can see what you're saying, Duck. Certain types of pain just feel sort of...good to me. My cat fought me today when I was trying to pull her out from under my dad's chair and while it hurt, it sort of felt good. Weird, I guess, but I'll just get my jollies from accidental injuries, lol. I used to be a self-mutilator and man, I don't want to be associated with that stigma. I'm happy now, so I don't feel the need anymore. Sometimes I can't cry and I have incredible emotions overwhelming me and I want to so bad, but I won't. I guess that means I still have issues, lol, but I'm able to control them very well now.

 

Well I hope so.