I kinda need some advice or thoughts or whatever....

Ok, longish story. I am 18 and my boyfriend is 19. Weve been together nearly 16months and hes my first proper boyfriend weve been together since i was 16. I always suspected hed done dodgy things on the internet id have found weird pictures of other girls and weird email addresses and chat sites on his pc but hed always convince me there was nothing going on and i was paranoid and should stop looking through his pc. Hed shout at me when i questioned him about it and got really angry which made me think i was just paranoid and he wouldnt act like that if he had.
Hed also wind up his friends' ex girlfriends who hed never met ringing them up with his group of friends which i thought was weird but there was nothing one on one so i ignored it.
A few weeks ago i found pictures of him wanking on his phone and hed sent them to a contact called craig. I rang the number and it was a girl. I also found texts on his phone from a different named male contact (which was obviously a woman) asking if he still wanted a threesome as shed split up with her boyfriend. After trying to lie his way out of it he admitted hed been ringing and texting this girl who turned out to be a work friends girlfriend. His friend had pissed him off and he and some others had been talking to her. Hed been telling her hed have sex with her and ringing her and sent her these pictures. He admitted when hed gone into the bathroom when i was at his house hed rung her but insisted it was to say not to tell her boyfriend that hed spoken to her and claims all other calls and texts were done in a group however he was the only one sending pictures and all the texts were from his phone.
A few days later i found a few junk emails from girls (the ones where it says invitation to join such and such a chat site or upsating my address book types) whose names i had never heard of. He admitted then he spoke to girls on chatrooms. He said he likes the inexpereinced but experienced dirty talk between him and these girls. (what we did before i lost my virginity to him). He said it didnt arouse him but i dont believe that. And he says he didnt see them on cam but im not sure of that either.
He says hes always done it through other relationships also and has a problem with it. But when he knew i was thinking of finishing our relationship he said he could stop. He says hed never physically cheated and would never do so.
I dont know what to do or think. Things have been much better since he admitted everything but my body image now is poor and i cant help being paranoid even more so. Ive said i want to be with him and hes promised me he will never lie again.
I just want thoughts or opinions on this as my head is all over the place! Ask any questions if any of that didnt make sense.
Thanks for reading it all if you took the time

 

it made perfect sense. he's a dog, a liar, and is no good for you. Trash him.

no one deserves to be lied to and he won't stop. Please tell me you're breaking up with him and waiting for someone good to come along. I'm really sorry that he cheated and you lost your virginity, but the sooner you drop him, the easier it will be. Don't forgive him, as this is unforgivable. You can't be so gullible you beleive that he has no sexual interest in these girls. Apparently that's all he's got. A sexual hunger that he feels can't be satisfied with one girl.

Unless you feel like sharing him and ending up with diseases, dump his lying ass.

 

one more thing, if this guy is making you feel bad, you need to get rid of him. I don't care how much you love someone, if they damage your self image, it's not worth it.

Don't beleive a word this guy says. He lied before and he'll lie now to keep you and have everything else too. don't be fooled.

 

liar liar pants on fire..

sorry, that's what this story made me think of. He's obviously lied to you, and about important things to, ie trying to get with other girls. UNACCEPTABLE. You deserve much better treatment than this - everyone deserves better than this. I would be dumping his ass so fast. If he doesn't find just being with me satisfactory, for whatever reason valid or not, then he doesn't get a single piece of me. I will not share my SO with another person, I do not want a SO who wants to get with other people and pursues that desire.

Dump him, dump him now. You can do a lot better that this liar.

 

I totally agree with you.
you two have been together for a while and you lost your virginity to him. now he's cheating on you not physicaly but emotionally thats just not right. All I am going to say is DO NOT forgive him and leave his ass.

 

You can't (well, you can... but you shouldn't) stay with someone who makes you feel bad about yourself. You did nothing wrong and I'm sure you are a wonderful person and you should be with someone who makes you feel that way. You don't deserve to be lied to.

 

Walk away and don't look back. Hold your head high and if you need the affirmation, remind yourself that you are too good for him.



You should listen to the song "Liar" by Henry Rollins Band

 

it really, really hurts when someone does something like this to you...it sucks ass. it really, really sucks and i'm soooo, soooo sorry. i'm not going to tell you to dump his loser ass like everyone else has, because that is your decision and you are an adult...but i will say this...the fact that he lied to you for two years and waited all the way until he got caught to tell the truth speaks volumes to me...that's just shitty. even if he DOES have a problem with a sex addicted, it's not right. if he has a problem like that, he shouldn't be in any relationship at all. if he cannot commit to one person alone, he shouldn't be in a situation where he has to commit. i mean, it would be different if you guys were in an open relationship or were swingers, but you are in a monogamous relationship. while he doesn't or may never cheat on you physically, he HAS been cheating on you emotionally, which can hurt even worse.

it's up to you what you want to do. who knows...you guys might be able to work it out. i can't judge because i don't know you guys. good luck and i hope you're feeling better no one deserves to feel that shitty.

 

I've been here before. My ex thought of every excuse in the book, all the ones your guys been using on you. But come one if he had no sexual interest why would he hide it from you? Scratch that why would he do it at all!
Hes a barstared and you need to lose him. I know its hard, and it will be all the more harder for you seeing as you lost your "flower" to him. But believe me it only gets worse.
Hes so dedicated to sleep with someone else hes willing to do 3sums, just like my ex (unless your guy is bi)
Please keep us updated, but you really need to tell him to fuck off, and never talk to him again, cause he will try to change your mind - and he will say anything to do so!
I don’t usually recommend this, but Breck up by phone and unplug strait afterwards. If you live at home still that’s great! Don’t you answerer the door at all (get somone elese to – same with the phone), and go out with friends as much as possible. If you don’t live at home, stay there for a little while or go to a friend’s house. Hope I helped
*hug*
(p.s. don’t believe any thing he says, he doesn’t love you, he wont change, its not group fun, and he doesn’t believe your his soul mate)

 

ugh. what a shite situation...are you okay? how has everything gone?

 

i know this is a bit of a different reply.. but it seemed like this girl was very nosy, going though his PC and phone and texts and emails?? thats seems a tinge freaky...

but since you caught him, you caught him.. break up with his ass!!

 

well, you shouldnt really go through peoples stuff, but if she had reason to suspect something, and he was her boyfriend, then I think its ok. hes a liar....you should dump his ass... if you let him get away with this much, he will probably try more (if he hasnt already) and just think he can get away with it.
besides, your still young and shouldnt even try to put up with someone cheating b/c there are still tons of other guys out there.(who wont fool around behind your back) you can do better and he deserves to be alone if that is how he is

 

Yeah if you have reason to suspect I think its ok, because if she asked first he would have hid every thing, and well I guess he already knew that she may suspect some day if he saved girls phone numbers under guys names.
But I have to stress the fact that you cant trust him, I two was in your position and I gave the guy another chance, he ended up having a 3sum with my next door neighbour and I didn’t find out till a week latter when I too was felling suspicious of my b/f and I found an email from a girl saying how she would like to meet up again. But the thing was he gave me his password, because he though he could delete all the emails before I read them. And the worst this is she wasn’t the only girl/guy.
I felt so used and depressed. But now I’m with the guy of my dreams who I actually trust, and I don’t give a fuck about keeping an eye on him because I know he loves me. I am so much happier now. And you can be too.

 

I use my boyfriends account for ebay so i have his email password which is how i first found weird contacts - by accident. Or hed ask me to hold his phone while hed gone to the toilet or whatever and hed receive a text and id open it finding a dodgy message. (he did the same to me with my phone so i thought it was ok to read it). After that i had too much of an intuition that something was going on behind my back for me to leave it. Hed shout at me when he found me snooping but the feeling was that intense that something was going on it didnt deter me from snooping again. Has taken me months of him covering it up for me to get him to confess.

Thanks for asking how things went but im still unsure what to do. We had a long conversation the other night and he revealed some things i didnt know before. He says he didnt really see talking to people on the internet as cheating, but he promises not to do it ever again and that we can work through this together. Im considering seeing how things go for a bit as i still love him to bits and we have fun but its still at the back of my mind. I cant help feeling im the worlds biggest pushover.

 

i know its love. im just hurt and still a bit shocked tbh

 

it's not love sweety....love is not this complicated...perhaps it is..
ditch him, you can do better.