I do not remember being this grouchy with Leane...I was always really relaxed and happy. This time I am full of anger. I mean, part of the reason is the enviornment I'm in daily...the college I go to is really small and a socail a disaster. It's SUPPOSED to be an adult school, but the majority of the student population are all either 18-21 or ACT like 18-21...basically, this is a high school. No one is serious about learning or helping eachother out and it's SOOOO aggrivating. For example, there are two women here (35!!!) who are complete bums and are down right rude. Today one of them couldn't figure out how to spell conscience and had the instructor's assistant helping them. Still, they couldn't figure it out. I knew how, and didn't say anything for a few minutes since this one girl/women (hell, child) has refused to talk to me since the start of the semester for some reason I have no clue about. But I could not read my text book after a while because of the distraction they were causing, and when I tried to tell them what the spelling was, I actually had to YELL the IA's name, and still, they ignored me.....WE WERE THE ONLY ONES IN THE ROOM FOR PETES SAKE!!!! She looked at me and just went back to talking to the rude student who won't talk to me. I finally got pissed off enough that I stormed out of the room, resisting the urge to yell, "well fuck you then!!!" Then I see them both in the hall way and they don't even say anything! I mean, this seems really small, doesn't it? But right now I am sooooooo mad I can't think. I just wanna go home! This has been a daily thing. And the worst part is that we're behind in a bunch of our classes because of rude, thoughtless students who can't stay on topic. I finally pipped up the other day after getting sick of the riduculous amounts of homework we've been having every night, saying that people need to start paying attention. Sure enough, all I got back were a bunch of insults and more people refusing to talk to me. People are joking about how much of a bitch I am...before these kinds of things pissed me off, too, but in the last few weeks, I have been so irritable that I say whatever I'm thinking and that's that. I don't know what to do....should I try to see if there's some way to fix this, deal with it, I don't know. What I do know is that I feel like I'm ready to both cry and scream and just go bonkers....
its your hormones hunny i know how you feel i was so aggravated and would snap at the slightest thing. i am still like that but have cooled down a bit. all i can tell you is to take a deep breathe and relax then if you still feel aggravated take yourself away from whatever it is that is aggravating you.
Maybe you feel more aggressive this time around because you're pregnant with a boy? You know, the surge of testosterone?
you know, that crossed my mind. Go figure, I had my appointment with my midwife about an hour ago, and I forgot to ask about that. Asked about everything else...but not about that....yesh. Need to start writing these things down. fairy~so far, that's what I've been doing. When I wrote this post I had just left the lunch room where it had happened and went to the computer lab instead where is was quiet, dark, and had very few people. That's about all I can do..... I'm just shocked about how angry I am this time!