I have a (personality) problem...analyze me

So after a long conversation with this guy that I've got a big crush on, I realize, I may have a communication problem...

You see, I've always been a sarcastic SOB, but since I've moved here, it's got increasingly worse...to the point where I don't know how to be sincere or genuine anymore, everything that comes out of my mouth comes out as a smart ass comment. I don't mean it to be...I don't do it on purpose half of the time...it just comes out that way.

I believe this is getting in the way of pursuing a relationship with my crush because I think he may believe that everything I say is just a big joke...because for the most part, everything I say almost always IS a joke. It bothers me that it takes a lot for me to be serious...extra effort, even.

What do you think is going on with me? Any advice? What do you think I can do to change this?

Actually, I don't want to change completely...I like having fun...and I don't want to be serious all the time...but it would be nice to be taken seriously every once in awhile, especially when you really like someone and you have no way to show it other than make fun of them endlessly...it's really hard!

P.S.
Is there another way to be affectionate and show someone you like them besides picking on them endlessly? Because for the life of me, I cannot figure out how to show him I like him...I must be really out of practice in the dating scene...although my dating scene is different and especially difficult. Any advice is welcome, please and thank you!

 

i really have no idea how to help you with this, i have a similar problem

 

Could you give some examples of how you would "pick" on him? How does he react to this? You said that it may be getting in the way of your relationship so maybe your hurting his feelings? Although, I don't know what your doing, lol.

 

I am also the same. The only thing I've found is to stop doing it. The desire to be clever and funny is strong but I've found that people really can't tell if I'm serous kidding or half kidding; So of course I ,and I assume you, offend people with out meaning to and people also just don't take take me seriously. It's a pain in the bum but the only answer is to consciously cut down.

 

I'm the same....but now I'm more direct with the guys I like.

 

well i am a very sarcastic ol bitch ,, always have been and always will be,,,, i do it to keep the mood light, to keep from getting too far in depth of who i am behind the fun n sarcasm,,, i have had a pretty rough history and i know it freaks many people out by discussing it with others,,, so it sorta a protection layer for both me n the others,,,,
i much prefer happy fun things over dull n dreary,,,, but i know most people dont really live by what my idea of fun n funny are,,,, unless ya really mesh with someone ,w hich will happen on occasion it always gonna be a struggle ...i guesss for me its basically learning n knowing what n when things seem appropriate,,, however,,, to do this people are not seeing the real you,,,,,, so is it better to stop or curb or just be you n if ppl dont get you then its there problem ... i look at it as though if theres a communication issue then it probably for good reason n not the person for me like i thought it had been
just me 3 cents

 

(going out on a limb here) Could it be that you used this personality to protect yourself? Its far easier to joke, to be a smart ass to others than to open up and show what you really feel or think inside?

 

Actually when I do pick on my crush, he usually dishes the same...I know it doesn't hurt his feelings or anything like that...as an example: He was going to Italy and I was in his room while he was packing and I noticed how ridiculous his wardrobe was...it looked like an old man closet when you looked in. So instead of just smiling inside about it...I open my big mouth and say, "You have the worst clothing on the planet..." all the while giggling endlessly...because it was quite funny...he gave me a shocked look and said something similar to what I wear...so he plays along, which is fine...I enjoy the teasing a bit.

Now, as far as the possibility of using my sarcasticness as protection, there is probably some truth to that...especially concerning this guy I like. It's easier for me to joke around about liking him, than actually admitting seriously that I like him. I'm pretty convinced that if I told him that now, he wouldn't believe me at all. The same goes for him, he's pretty much equally as sarcastic as myself...so...when he says things about liking me, I can't tell if it's a joke or not. So there is definitely some communication issues going on that I feel needs to be resolved...I just don't know how...

I did have a serious conversation with him about patroitism...and I got serious about it...I could tell that he was pretty weirded out by the fact that I COULD be that serious...LOL...

I have no idea.

 

I have become far too cynical. It generally eats me ass first into mouth.

 

solution: tackle him, mount him, kiss him

 

i'm the same way. in fact, i suspect most of you have seen it manifest here...

 

Give me your birthdate, and then I can look up in my book of personality types.

 

I think you need some sexing up.


I can be there by tomorrow.

 

people that joke around or are sarcastic, smart asses, etc... are usually people who have delt with a big, usually tramatic, experience in their lives when they were younger. Its kinda like a shield that you create to keep you safe from getting to personal.

I think you should just put the shield down and make a more obvious gester that you like him. ask him to go do something with you. just you and him. you guys can go as friend with an open door to dating...

doesnt like you in that way, but friends, you will know to end the crush,

if he does, then he will feel more comfortable to make a move, with all of your flirting... touch his arm, talk about being kids and things you like, etc,. ask him questions, guys like that alot..

 

That's too good of an observation for me. I'm outta this thread.

 

1/24/1983

4:46 AM

 

Hehe, I know you're right...

*taps foot and waits*

 

i wouldn't wait for him...he always shows up late

 

Beter then being to quick.

 

I think there is a lot of truth to that...my whole life has practically been one huge traumatic experience...and I think I do distance myself from a lot of people...I don't think anyone around here REALLY knows me...maybe only one person...

See, this is a sticky situation because I live on an isolated camp with him and ten other people...we live and work together...not to mention the fact that he's sort of my boss. This is what makes things more complicated. We are also a VERY close group of people...we might sleep in the same bed together and cuddle...and it means absolutely nothing but being friends with someone, or simply just to keep warm! A touch of an arm or even a kiss on the cheek means nothing around here...because everyone does it. That's what makes things complicaed...things have to be blatent in order to decipher whether someone is being friendly or has more feelings...and I'm not sure if I'm ready to be THAT blatent about it...it leaves me vulnerable and could affect my job...I don't know....it's really complicated...