I Had to Refuse to Fist Bump my Colleague

So this colleague and I seemed to get on and he used to initiate a fist bump with me often when we'd meet. Lets call him fist bumper. Anyway one day I happened to depart a work whatsapp group due to what I felt was bullying. Departing that was a load off my mind, and now (8 months later) I don't regret it. A few days after this, this guy asks me when in the canteen "did Jimmy (another guy in the group) send you the screen shot?". I said "what screen shot?" and he basically said "ask Jimmy". I said "hang on, was this on the WhatsApp group? give me a look". He wouldn't... but he did say that Jimmy was trying to defend me. I said well if you weren't willing to show me you shouldn't have said anything to begin with.

Anyway I'd to rush away from him that day, but the next day in the canteen, I basically told him that I didn't know or trust Jimmy very well at all, and he used to hang out with one of the culprits. I was also conscious that fist bumper's English wasn't too good so he might have picked up what Jimmy posted wrong. This time he declined to show me again saying he didn't want to get involved. In a last effort (knowing I seemed a bit desperate) I asked what are you afraid of and what's the worst that could happen? He said "okay maybe" as he was leaving the room, but when he came back a few minutes later, I just wasn't going to let myself appear any more desperate... and, no, he didn't bring it up either so that was the end of that.

I knew there was a high chance the main culprits were making some borderline nasty remarks about me for the group to see. But it was once I knew about it that it bothered me. What bothered me about this fist bumper was that after this, when he'd meet me he'd say "how are you?" followed by "all good yeah?". He didn't say that second part before... giving me the impression he was acting concerned as he knew I'd an issue, yet not willing to show me the thing I wanted to see!

Now if I were going to refuse to show someone a whatsapp post to someone (in a similar manner) I'd know that they'd be a little pissed off. You're basically saying "I don't trust u not to going around telling everyone that it was me who showed u a print screen". Is that even likely? So what I'm saying is that I'd know not to fist bump that person anymore. We're only colleagues now.

I ended up asking the only person in that group who I felt I could trust, to both show me, and not be a gossip about asking, and when I saw it I was glad I didn't ask for Jimmy's help. I would have looked so needy to Jimmy. I saw Jimmy's post where he pretended that he and I had a telephone conversation, and that I asked him to screen shot the group every time my name was mentioned. Made me look paranoid. The next poster in the group laughed at the idea of someone asking for someone to get screen-shooting like that. It makes sense why fist bumper said "Did Jimmy send u the screen shot?". He believed the lie.

Sure I continued to talk to the fist bumper, but a few weeks later he came right over to where I was sitting in the canteen and put out his fist!! No, I wasn't complying! One can't have it both ways. I'm glad there was no one else in the room at the time, and maybe I would have acted differently if there was (for the sake of not appearing to be an asshole), but there was no way I was doing that! I felt mean and it was awkward. He asked "why not?". I obviously wasn't going to bring up the past. I honestly don't know if he's a clue as to why I refused!!

Thanks

 

Ah yeah, but what did u think of the story?

 

Fist bumps replaced handshakes during COVID, remember?

 

...he's learned that everybody's thinking the same thing...