i dont understand, please help what should i do?

Hi, THIS IS A LONG STORY BUT SOMEONE PLEASE READ THIS AND HELP ME, I AM SO CONFUSED FOR 2 YRS NOW.

My name is Cili.
I just got married this year to my husband after 7 yrs, from highschool by the way. I love him with all my heart and i always knew he was the one, BUT!!!for the past 2 YEARS i have had a crush on a woman, who i met at my salon where i worked as a beautician, she was a hairdresser and the boss's fiance(they've been engagaed for like 2 yrs already). She became my hairdresser.I never liked a woman before , never and since then she is the only one that brings out almost the same feelings that i have toward my husband, but not stronger. I think she she is beautiful, and i know that i dont like women because i am sure she is the only one that turnms me on. Here voice her parfume, everything. Wwe became friends,. I always felt that she might not be straight because she always looked at me with such a cute smile, and the look that everyone makes when they think about you or when someone has a ctush on you and you can tell by the look. We eyed eachother all the time, and it made my feelings stronger, but i had no clue how she felt, but i knew something was wrong with her. She was engaged 6x and never had a wedding, so weird. She doesnt open up to everyone , but she let me in , i was glad. After i left my job, i went back everytime to do my hair, and we became even closer friends. I asked her once if she wants to meet outside of the salon, cause we cant really talk while she works on my hair. She said sure. I was afraid how she will react, but we had a great talk but i didnt wanna tell her my feelings yet,i didnt know if i should. She evern dropeed me off home and we said that next time we can go party, so i was glad there was anext time. The second time we did go party together, we talked then danced a little, but the boys hit on us so it bothered me, but i could not believe i was actually there with her, it was like a dream come true. I think aout her and only her all the time, while im in love with my husband so much. After the party i told her i have like her, she was really surprised, but she told me she only likes men, and i told her about all the moves that i felt from her towards me , how she looked at me, what she said, and she said she doesnt know what those were,im sure she doesnt even know aht she likes, i always feel sthg different when im with her, she acts different, and she doesnt even realize it. pLEASE HELP ME, I DONT UNDERSTAND HOW I CACN LOVE THIS GIRL WHILE I ALWAYS LIKE BOYS , NO OTHER WOMAN TRUNS ME ON, NEVER EVER, BUT SHE DOES, hIOW IS THAT? dOES THAT MAKE ME BISEXUAL, CAUSE IM NOT A LESBIAN, BUT I DO LOVE THIS GIRL. plEASE HELP ME HAS ANYONE BEEN IN SUCHA SITUATION BEDORE. i DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO.

 

We each have our own criteria for determining our sexuality.

There are many kinds of love, you can love someone but not want to have sex with them, like a brother, sister, parent or, best friend. You don't specify if you want to have sex with your stylist or not. For me that is the deciding factor. I'm gay but I have several females in my life whom I love, I just wouldn't want to have sex with them. I have men I love and would not have sex with but, anyone I would want to have sex with is a man.

 

Life can mysterious and sometimes downright strange. I wouldn't worry about labels and/or titles (lesbian) for example. I'd just live life. You only get one. Are you going to be true to yourself or try to please others or worry about what they think? I know it is a difficult road, but as I am also dealing with my own sexuality issues at the moment, so I feel for you. Just know you are not alone, and you'll find your answers.

 

Tfirst of all thank you for your replies.And drea RnbwMan: i have thoght about kissing my stylist many times and i have had a sexual.dream about her once,i can imagine having sex with her,but only her i cant imagine kising any other girl.so this makes.me wonder how can this be?i just wanna be her friend at least to be able to be around her while she cant know that it doesnt matter to me that i we.cant be .more.than friends,she csnt know or she wont let me be her.friend.it is really hard keepimg this.to myself,sometimes.i.feel like im gonna burst ,i look at her pictures everyday on facebook.does this change anything?what do you think.