I don't listen to her blah blah blah...

So my girlfriend often likes to talk about her work, her sunday school teachings, her family stuff, her friend stuff, like most women. Nothing odd. The thing is, I really couldn't care less about most of what she says. I don't care how one of the babies at her work is a pain in the ass, I don't care about the conversation her and her friend had about shoes, I don't care how one of the nuns at her church is a bitch every week. Its just so routine and irrelevent.

Even if I do listen to what she says I end up forgetting most of it shortly afterwards. I frequently get in shit for not remembering details about what she talks about.

I think its natural; I've read that my personality type tends to quickly analyze something and if I don't find the information useful for my own purposes then I tend to phase it out as irrelevent. Perhaps I'm so unhappy with this relationship that it just doesn't matter. Perhaps I'm just selfish with my attention and memory.

For whatever reason I ignore what my girlfriend talks about (mostly). Does anyone else ignore their girlfriend, and for what reason?

 

welcome to bein a dude, get used to it

 

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Hi LucidOne,

My mother used to nag my ears off while I was growing up. Consequently, I'm one of those few women who don't need to fill up every second with endless chatter/"conversation". It gives me a headache. I enjoy the quiet. Conversation is nice when there is something to say, but it is also nice to just read a book, or go to the movies, and just enjoy each others' company without words. Maybe, try having more "background" music on. This might get her to talk less and listen more. =-)

 

these phrases will help you..

 

It really sounds like the two of you should stop wasting each other's time. Sorry.

 

meet her halfway...try harder to retain some of the useless crap she yaps...and at the same time ask her to not ramble so much of it to you

 

I agree with both MaccaByrd and BBAD.

 

Get out while you can!

 

I'm up HERE Mister!

Sounds like you are not really into her. If you were, you would be into what is important to her. Here is a quote from the movie Phenomenon where Geroge is trying to figure out his love interest. He gets good advice from Doc:

"Every woman has her chair, something she needs to put herself into, Banes. You ever figure out what Lisa's chairs were and buy 'em?"

If you don't know or worse yet care what her "chair" is you need to move on and allow her to find someone who will be into her things.

 

sugarplumplum, you have the right mentality! Are you single by chance? I would rather discuss something that has meaning and weight, thats interesting and significant, like a philosophy argument, or some kind of intellectual concept. Not monotonous details that never end. It would go on for hours if I didn't stop it.

orison, thats a fantastic list you have there lol. I see you have some experience in this area. I use most of those, but theres a few new ones I picked up. Thanks!

BBAD, thats actually a sensible suggestion. She does ramble on. She sometimes states the same thing multiple times in a conversation (and no its not because I'm not listening). I suppose I could try to listen a bit more, but there needs to be a time limit on talky time me thinks

It doesn't necessarily mean that were not right for each other, as I've heard others complain about this who happen to be in a happy relationship. It could be an indicator though, that I don't want to, consciously or subconsciously, use my attention and time on her, which could mean that I'm not happy in this relationship.

 

zoning out while your girlfriend is rambling is one thing, it happens to all of us,
but blatantly ignoring her is a completely different thing all together.

 

sounds like someones been drinkin ey? haha just kidding but i was in a relationshiop like that for a while and i realized i was only in it because i didnt want to hurt the girls feelings by ending it you know? i was also being lazy. it sounds like something that could turn into one of those sitcom bad marrages.

 

If they talk too much, just means they need a really good shag, especially if its all high pitched

No matter what they all say, yes it is that simple.

 

I you really dug her you would be hanging on her every word...

 

My wife likes to talk a lot. Sometimes I get into it, sometimes I dont mind it, sometimes it's too much and I tell her I need some quiet for a while and she usually respects that. Breaking up over this issue may not be the right thing to do. If it's a serious problem then maybe get some couples therapy so she can understand and respect your feelings better because right now she sounds kind of intolerant and self centered IMO. Does she listen to you at all or is it always all about her?

 

Why don't you tell her that you don't like to small talk. You would like to cease small talking, ANYMORE.

Could she talk to one of her good friends about that, so she wouldn't place that burden on you?

 

Vanilla Gorilla, holy crap are you implying I don't shag her good enough? Thats just rude! I don't think its the quality, but the quantity. There needs to be more! It has to be one long screw, consistently, whenever I see her, so she doesn't have a chance to talk. Well nothing besides "YES!". And when were on the phone, it will have to be phone sex

Moondaddy, I agree its not worth breaking up over, or getting therapy for that matter. Thats a good idea to say, that I need my quiet time. Sometimes she listens to me, but other times I'll be talking and then she'll interrupt me with something that just came to her, whether physically or mentally.

Chera, I wish I could tell her that there will be no more small talk. She doesn't have any really good friends that she can talk to like that. I think she recently realized that shes going nuts talking about things, because she specifically said "I'm sorry I'm talking so much, but if i didn't tell you these things I'd probably blow up on somebody". So its probably better if I didn't cut her out.

zombiewolf, I like the chimp in your sig.

 

Ultimately, that's your decision. And depending on how rewarding your relationship with her is otherwise, it may be worth it.

But, why doesn't she have any friends? It begs the question.

No one is a martyr for other people's shortcomings forever, buddy.

 

Thats true. I couldn't say for sure why she doesn't have close friends to talk to (at least not on a regular basis). Shes a peculiar individual...