I completely screwed up my first time.

I had my first sex experience last night. I met this guy in a club, we were kissing and stuff, he tried to have sex with me but uh... couldn't get it in. I gave him my friend's number (I don't have a phone), we left, he text my friend asking to meet up with me, she gave him my email address. We've been talking a lot, he's pretty sweet, but at the same time, he doesn't seem particularly enthusiastic. But maybe that's just me overthinking things. So, he asks me to come over to his place.

I go over, it's a little flat, kinda dirty, the hall smells of feet :S He had a cute cat, that was about the cleanest thing there. He also looks a lot different to how I remembered him in the club.... Eugh.

I was really nervous and stuff. I'd never kissed or done anything before without being under the influence, so doing it sober was weird. I think he picked up on it, because at this point he offered me a key of ket, which didn't really actually effect me much anyway... Just made me kind of angry. But, we ended up having sex - he put it in, the first few seconds were okay, kinda hurt which I expected. Then he went the entire way, and it hurt like a bitch, so I started screaming at him to take it out, which I guess startled him a little.

He took it out, then he kept asking to put it back in. I was terrified, and kind of writhing around on the bed clutching my ass, on the verge of tears, asking him why it hurt so much. He tries to put it in again, so I get off the bed shouting "no no no", still clutching my ass, probably looking like an absolute weirdo.

We just sat there for another ten/fifteen minutes, with me awkwardly perched on the edge of the bed, still hurting, and him lying there looking completely unimpressed and annoyed, watching the TV. I tell him I'm going home, and he's like "okay", hugs me goodbye, and I leave.

Then, when I get home, I have an email off him asking me if I want to come on holiday with him for 8 days - he's rented a place in the country, he was meant to take his friend but they dropped out last minute. I've said yes; I guess I'll take the opportunity to make up for my shitty first time with a better second time.

So what the hell do you guys do to put up with the pain? I'm pretty sure we used enough lube. Do you literally just have to shut up and take it and wait until you're loosened up enough for it to be pleasurable? My ass still stings. Rage.

TLDR; anal sex hurts, how do I make it not hurt

 

Since When Was A First Time Ever Sucessful....?

Have You Ever Considered That Your Role May Not Be A Bottom....?

I Say Go To The Cabin With Him, And Don't Be Rushed Into Anything.

Just Kiss And Cuddle, And Get Off With Oral And Mutual Masturbation.

And Stay Off The Drugs, If You Can't Enjoy Sex Without Drug

Enhancement, Then You Have A Problem...

I Wish You Well....



Cheers Glen.

 

Unless you want your relationship with this person to go anywhere, I actually suggest not to go. If you do, go and get to know one and another

because if you do go just to have sex, he is going to expect to to give it up and will treat you like a piece of meat. It sounded like he was a little insensitive to the pain the first time and that could be because you have kept it completely sex orientated so far.

As for the pain, don't do drugs. I suppose you're just going to have to take it slowly, no big deal. I am by no means an aficionado of this sort of that sort of thing, though.

 

yeah it can be a bit painful right after the entry, but you'll adjust in a while and it'll get really good after that. just have him take it slow the first few minutes. you can have him enter and stay still in you until you feel good. that's a good way to relax the muscles back there. don't feel awkward about talking to him about it.
and use a rubber

 

In my opinion if you go off to some place away from your "safe and familier" area with a person you JUST MET IN A CLUB, you very well could be putting your LIFE in jeopardy!

How old is this other person? If your age is correct and your only 15, than I think maybe you need to step back and seriously reconsider your plans before something bad happens to you. From what you say this guy doesn't sound to concerned with your feelings, physically or emotionally. Is it really wise to go on holiday for 8 days with him? You may be getting yourself into something you won't be able to get out of.

 

I admit that the fact he emailed you *immediately* after an unsuccessful night to invite you just then on a trip his friend just happened to have canceled strikes a bit off. PB is right. Unless you have a significant reason to trust this person you should meet up with him in familiar and safe surroundings only. I didn't notice your age before.

This kind of behavior might indicate that he invited you only to get you in bed and leave you no way to back out of it. He might not be a rapist or a murderer but his intentions might not be completely honest either. get to know him a bit more before you do something like this.

 

Glen hit some key points here that I agree with.

IDK why so many ppl think that Gay Sex = Anal. I am not a bottom altho in my youth I topped a lot of guys in New Orleans (This before I really gravitated to male sex).

I love cocksucking and all sorts of other sensual things with my hands and mouth that don't involve sticking or getting stuck in the ass.

Remember the old Sexual Revolution axiom: If it feels good - do it.

Likewise, if it hurts like a bitch - do something else.

Also, don't go off to an isolated place from which you can't easily run or you could end up his prisoner/sex slave.

 

Seriously Cobe, don't do it. We don't need to be reading about you in the headlines.
Jeffrey Dahmer also would seduce young men to go with him, and he appeared completely normal....until he killed, butchered and ate them!

 

Also just by your thread title tells me that you may have some self esteem issues. Why do you think you completely screwed up?
I think that the only way you screwed up was by going over to this persons home in the first place. You even mentioned about the condition of his place being filthy, and his apperance and attitude was different then before.
!!!!!!RED LIGHT WARNING!!!!!!

You are very young and it would seem eager to please, a predatory person can smell that in an instant. I just don't have a good feeling about your plans and really hope you stay away from this guy.
You don't owe this person ANYTHING.

 

He probably didn't know you were a first timer..and he's probably packed like a horse.
It's one of those take it slow, go in a little...then a little more.....then a little more slowly. then all the way. then ok a little motion all the way.. now the pace picks up and it turns into really awesome bum sex. And thats usually everytime...for me.....its just ridiculously tight on everyone right so. But once you do it more often... (like daily for 8 days) it wont be as difficult. CHEERS!

 

LOL!!! I love this guy

 

Thanks for all the comments guys.. I guess I'll take the advice of the majority and not have sex with him (until I get to know him better, anyway). I mean we can do other stuff; like one of you said, sex doesn't have to be anal.

Ahh well, I'm just looking forward to spending 8 days near the seaside, lol.

 

So, you are going to go off for 8 days with a person who is essentially a stranger to you and your 15, (How old is this guy again?) to a place that is unfamiliar to you and seem to think YOU are going to have the option to say no?
Did the thought even cross your mind at all that this person may want to get you somewhere and in a situation in which YOU HAVE NO CONTROL?
I think you missed something, the majority of advice was to
NOT GO AWAY WITH THIS GUY!

This guy may be wonderful and great, but you haven't known him long enough to make that assessment, nor are you old enough to have enough life experience to be able to discern his intentions as completely as you may think. Guy could be completely fine, but if not, it only has to happen one time for it to end horribly for you.
Seriously, wake the fuck up!
That is said with your health and safety in mind.

 

Yep, I agree. Even if he is lying and isn't actually 15, but a middle aged man - I still wouldn't suggest going away with him.

 

Glen, this kid is 15, you really think that is the best, safest advice to offer?

 

Yeah, I'd look forward to an 8 day seaside rape session too

 

I would advise you not to go either. There's no rush with this. Once he gets back from his vacation then you can meet up with him again. if you want.

You might get a counter-reaction to all of us telling you what you shouldn't do, but we're not saying it because we think we know it all. we just have had the kind of experience in life to recognize threat under such circumstances. it's what we would do.
if you do decide to go, however, let your friends and family know where you will be going (ask the guy the exact location); keep your cell phone with you at all times. if you don't have a cell phone buy or borrow one. and get a can of pepper spray or something.

We might be overreacting a bit but it's better to overreact in these situations than not to be prepared.

 

i have no experience myself but if the guy cared at all he wouldnt have gone all the way in knowing you're inexperienced and tight. the fact that he asked to go back in after you screamed is kinda scary. why not just have sex with him in your own area? going off with this dude for that long at that age is pretty shady. anyways hope you reconsider and again i have no experience but i would say practice with dildos or a cucumber or something with a condom on it to practice and get used to the feeling so it doesn't hurt.

 

as most others have said, your profile says you are 15, this guy isn't out for your pleasure or safety. take is slow with this guy or better still WAIT to find someone closer to your age and that cares about you and YOUR needs

you said you were nervous when you went over to his house. well that is the first clue, to have a less painless anal sex session you have to be relaxed. you partner needs to loosen you up by fingering you for a good while and then go slow on the insertion and let you get used to it.

again, young friend be very careful and trust your instincts

peace,
bob