I still live at home ( I know, I need to get my own place), I am 20, and I pay more than half the rent. I pay $260 a month plus $50-%60 a month in house stuff like tp, toothpaste etc. She's been complaining that it's not enough. My money basically buys me my room. I rarely eat dinner at home, or eat what they are eating. I started paying rent when I was 18, because my family needed the money, and I was in a position to help. I even sat down with her, added up the expenses and split it down the middle and said that I would pay half. She said that it wasn't enough. So instead of paying $230 (Half) I offered to pay $260. But I guess that wasn't enough, so I started buying stuff that she would put on a list for me. Now I would like to just sell everything I own, load up my pack and just go. But there is the complication of my little sister. She is 17 and I can't leave her behind. Side story: Since my mom has started to drink (2 years ago), she has become abusive. Mostly emotionally. She has told my sister and I many times that we should just kill ourselves. That she hates us. That she wants to kill herself because of us. blah blah blah. Then she started hitting my sister. One time when we were fighting with her, my mother followed my sister into her room and was acting like she was going to hit her. I followed to make sure she didn't. Then she acted like she was going to hit me. I just need to get out, but finances right now, and my sister, don't allow me too. Help, or Ignore this, I just needed to rant. Thanks for listening.
It sounds like a complicated situation and i hope you find a peaceful way to resolve the problem. I dont have any advice that i would deem useful, having said that the only comfort i can offer is the fact that i have read your post and do wish you the best of luck.
Does your sisiter have a job? Maybe you 2 could get a small cheap place together...yes I see that your sister isn't 18 yet, but from reading your post I don't think your mother would mind her moving out now. Good luck to you & your sister in whatever decision you make!
Thanks guys for the input. No, my sister doesn't have a job. She's dragging her feet because she knows once she does, my mother will make her pay rent. But I can't do it on my own. I don't know why I have to. I didn't give birth to her, but when certain needs make themselves known, I'm like a little bandaid. I go and put it under protection so it can heal, then when my job is done I get thrown away. Anyone wanna go to my pity party I'm throwing? ugghh...
Do you get on well with your sister? And how does she feel about your mother? If she feels like you and would be 'on your side' so to speak, why not discuss it with her and see whether you can persuade her that you could both move out if and when she gets a job?
She feels the same way I do. As a matter of fact, I have to tell her today to call up to check on an application she has turned in. We have talked about moving, possibly out of state together to get out of this mess.
At least you are not being thrown out by your folks with two children. That was rough. Talk about a pity party.
Last year, I was in a very similar situation. I hated living at home. You could do what I did. I moved to work for a resort that provides employee housing. Housing's cheap, pay is good, and you'll save lots of money. I'm 20 as well. I'm trying to get my sisters to move out here but, like your sis, they are lazy and don't have jobs. You CAN get a first-time job at a resort like I work at. www.skijob1.com www.keystone.snow.com <resort i'm at there are alot of perks about living/working out here I dont know if it's your thing, but it sure worked for me. I moved out here in November, and I saved up enough to move into a house w/ some friends, while still wroking at the resort. And you get to live in the mountains! and it's outta state. I moved to Colorado from Maryland
it is awful that this is happening to you at such a young age....you must keep in mind that your mum is clouded with alchohol .do you have any other family members you can turn to for support....sayan aunt o family friend .....you obviously need to distance your selves from your mum right now ....maybe your mum needs help too ...stay strong and stay together ,....... try your best to get a small place .i know this may sound cruel but then your mum wont be able to afford to drink and if she drinks she wont be able to afford the bills etc ...and she will have to reach her rock bottom before she pulls her self back up. she cant do this while your there paying half or more of the bills etc . besides you shouldent have all this stress at your age .......i hope everything goes well for you
Sorry you have to deal with all this... Maybe your little sister can get emancipated and you can move out? Assuming your financial situations improves...
Thank you so much for your support. One of the hardest things is that she's not always drinking, like 75% of the time she is drinking. The other 25%, she act like my mom. She almost never remembers what she does or says when she is drunk. I keep on trying to push my sister to get a job, but she's got problems of her own, not the least insomnia and depression. I'll just keep on working, and doing the best I can, and hopefully sometime soon we can get our own place and move on with our lives. Because right now it just feels like we are here, living her life. It's time to break out. I need a revolution.
That is allright. Could you aproach for a better focusing of life, that facts and means of the people reliyng on ya is not more cruel than letting you pay the billss, yes we all have to colaborate onna the living and the house and the partners and you your sister are able toghather to reach a better cocnuiouss as to influentiate your living with mom. I do met the Hare Krishna poeple there in america is so much known now a days and them are in love serving all people all situations them are as humble as the best frends. you may take some air with this, is just to make some aproach to better living and learnin liverating the boundaries to this material conditioned life in wich i do share with you sis your situation, because soon i will have to pay some bills too, am 20 young i i think this could help much further and for me and my sitiation here. that is all right. www.krishna.com there are diferent places to go in there. and to hang on friends that are there to help.. am thinking of joining in advance to that resort managment to develop the job. ! HAre krsna with love and afection . send me PM if d´ya wanna bring inna the contact.some i will be there.
mabey your sister could get emancipated as Reid suggested? & then she could try & get a job even if it has to be a night job you know whatever fits her schedule & then you guys could share that small apartment
