I can't cum thinking of the woman I'm with

I either think of porn or women in my past or women I've met but had no relations with ---.

Anyone have that problem?

Edit: By "the woman I'm with" I mean, the woman I am having sex with on any given occasion.

I do not have a gf and I am not talking about a particular woman!

Sorry for the misunderstanding- :hat:

 

I did... once me a my longtime girlfriend broke up and then did the whole on/off bootycall thing for a bit, I had not so much a hard time cumming, just a discontent in cumming for this person I know longer loved as much.
Maybe she isn't the right one for you, ya know?

 

Happens with all of them, pretty much

 

Oh, you meant while not actually being 'with' her...?

 

Or maybe she just doesn't turn you on as much as you need to be turned on. There's nothing wrong with that. But I think you should tell your gf you're thinking about other girls. She may be rather offended.

 

I don't have a girlfriend.

What I am trying to say is that everytime I have sex, no matter who it is, I have to think of someone other than the person I'm having sex with in order to reach orgasm.

That's what I meant-

 

Thanks for clearing that up. I assumed you meant you had a regular partner and she wasn't giving you what you needed.

So considering the new information, maybe you need to find partners who are more attractive than the ones you've been finding, or maybe you're just more turned on by fantasy than by reality. I was reading a sex book that covered that topic a few days ago, It's really more common than a lot of people think.

Some people, both guys and girls, are more aroused by a fantasy in their minds than the actual sexual experience they happen to be having at the time.

The author interviewedthe president of a kinky fetish club, and he said most people who are intothe kinkier stuf are more into the fantasy of the kinkyness than the actual kinky act.

It happens with normal sex too. Some people just aren't as aroused as they need to be by the physical situation. So they turn to fantasy instead.

I don't see anything wrong with it. But I'd still hold off from telling your partners that you're thinking about other people. That might not go over well.

 

I know what you mean. I had this with a girlfriend for a while, though it was more because I was bored with her I guess.

but with new girls, I never have to, or even want to. one of my favorite things about sex is blowing my load all over the girl's face, so if I've got a new face staring up at me I get extra excited.

are you trying to orgasm by plain old fucking, wanking it, or what? I can never cum from blowjobs myself. gotta lend a helping hand in those situations.

 

Thats cool as long as you can find girls that go for it. Some are turned off by that kind of thing.

 

I can't either, that was never enough to take me all the way.

 

you need to meet someone at the heart level

 

Its possible that he'll have the same problem even if he meets someone at the heart level. he may love her but he still may need a fantasy element in his sexual activity.

 

yeah that tends to happen to me too

 

So, you don't have any trouble getting the old boy up?

 

i don't think that's abnormal.

 

maybe sex just isn't for you

 

I think I might have been bored or half-attracted to some sex partners I've had. I faintly remember having come thinking of a few women while I was with them, but that was rare and they were super-banging. And probably only the first couple times. One of them was an ultra-hot brazilian prostitute.

Cum-to-mouth turns me on more than anything about sex, BUT usually if the girl isn't extra pretty in the face I don't want to do it. OR, if she's too innocent. But I can't stand innocent girls anyway.

I can't come with a bj either. I was referring to regular sex with a condom (which sucks more and more the older I get). I don't have erection problems though I went limp a couple times because I wasn't emotionally connected with the chick on that occasion.

I think the not being able to think of the woman I'm with might be intimacy issues-

 

In that case I think you would probably do yourself a lot of good if you found a girl who you can connect with at an emotional level. it may eliminate your problem altogether.

 

Ever thought about swinging the other way?

 

Yes.

I've even hoped for it, feverishly. I wish I had such fortune as to be sexually attracted to men.