"I Can't Come In To Work Today Because..."

Let's hear your best excuses!

"...I have the 24 hour Ebola."

 

...24-hour Priapism

 

I called in once about half a year ago and said I needed a mental health day, it was the first itme I called in so all was good. I don't like to take off unless I need to hmm but if I had to lie I would say I was being quarintined for a SARS as I am kinda always behind on everything anyway they would believe me.

 

Im REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY sick, im spewing up every 5 mins.

 

I got my penis caught in the dvd player ...again....

 

I have diarrhea and i cant leave the house without shitting myself every five minutes..
OR
I have my period and I am bleeding like a mofo...

 

...my village was wiped out by a typhoon.

 

some one put a snow man out in my front yard and it scares me to go near it. I will be in when it melts.

 

haha..
hmmm... I killed someone last night and i have to spend today trying to hide the body..good day

 

...I can come in , my old boss came by asking why I wasnt at work. I am not finished gutting and butchering his corpse. But hey, barbecue tomorrow, on me!!!!

 

I can't come to work cuz I have explosive diarrhea, and I have to clean my balls

 

Ash_freekstreet ripped off my leg....

 

i cant come in today because i have decided that i dont like any of the people i work with and refuse to be around their template chat

hmm, and that is truly why i have no job

 

i was abducted by aliens last night.now im" being brought back down to earth

 

...I wont be in. someone locked my hnds to my feet and I had to dial using my penis. call ma lock smith please.

 

crummyrummy you wish man..........bollocks

 

...the old lady next door siphoned all of the gas out of my Gremlin.

 

.....a tribe of four foot tall native norwegians has taken me hostage and wont release me until I learn the Koran in Vulcan!!!!

 

i lopped off my left leg and nut but i will be in thursdzy ready to work

 

i can't come in because my pussy hurts! or my moms famouse one i am going thro menopause!