I am so lonely.

Its not that these guys get girls cause they are jerks, its cause they have confindence. That is something you can't fake though. But confidence is key, and just being easy going and not caring. Just start up a casual conversation.

Also, being funny is good, throw in a little bit of cockiness, but make sure its in good fun and you've got a good mixture. But make sure you are sincere about everything.

If you are a complete jerk than girls will realize that and label you as a prick. But if you are nervous, girls can sense that ten times better than guys. Girls don't like nervous guys either.

 

Maybe you're too shy ?


Maybe (like me) you're so clueless when a girls interested that she has to walk up and grab your crotch before you get the message that she's interested (which means you'll just wind up with the kind of women who'll walk up to a guy and grab his crotch)?

Could be lot's of things, I don't know you. Just telling you I've had the same problem off and on in my life and it was usually for the reasons I mentioned.

 

Maybe the kind of gals you're trying to befriend are just looking for a night of fun, and you seem too nice to lead on or anything. Like others have mentioned, most chicks go for confidence before sweetness - doesn't matter how nice a guy is if he's too nervous to form a sentence.

I should also mention that a lot of gals (me and all my female friends) don't go for our friends as potential romantic partners.... they're firmly in the friend category and it would ruin that friendship to start dating.

<QUOTE=LotusBlossom>There's this guys that are complete jerks and it's obvious they just want sex, yet they get all the girls they want,</QUOTE>
Um, maybe those gals are just looking for sex as well. Do you want a one night stand, or a real relationship? Because those are two very different goals, particularly in terms of what gals you're going to chase after and where. One night stand - go for a flirty, slightly underdressed (or flatteringly dressed) gal at a bar. Real relationship - friends of friends, schoolmates, etc. in quieter social situations.

 

Never have I read something that sums up how I feel. Wow. Sometimes I feel so ugly, worthless and stupid, because I've always been single. Whats wrong with us? Why don't women like kind people? Why go for a guy that just slaps you around and disrespects you? I don't get it.

 

how many girls have you two asked out? If you dont ask anyone out, you wont get any girls.

 

id just start talking to them and ask em out. Whats the worst they say? No? Oh well, you're right where you started. No downside, HUGE upside.

There are very few guys in the world who can expect to just sit back, do literally nothing, and get all the girls in the world. You arent one, i'm not one. We have to take some initiative. They arent going to be interested in you if you dont give em a reason to be.

 

there are always other girls.

As easy as it is to mope around(and i know plenty well how easy it is), it gets you nowhere. You have pretty much two choices...sit around and waste your life or try and change it.

 

alright, sorry. Goodluck.

 

Ah indifference. I think I see what you're saying, are you not interested in any of them, as they are not interested in you? Or something along those lines, I am not good at properly explaining myself...

 

Whats to like, eh Lotus?

 

Not the best attitude to have, but whatever.

 

And I'm willing to bet you do care, you just don't want to admit it? Perhaps it would be easier to not, but not being able to, you pretend? Delusions you know.. It can be fun while it lasts, I'm sure, but it will crash eventualy.

 

I suppose only time will tell.. Perhaps you are one of the lucky few who truly doesn't care? Though can it be called luck?

 

Hehe, I'm sure you have your reason, most people do. But in the end, will it really be worth it? Not caring won't get you anywhere, literaly.

 

Read "Zen guide to depression". Learning not to care is kind of an art. I have yet to master it. Buddha knew how

 

out of curiosity, any ebay or amazon links or other links to the book you speak of gentle?

 

well I'm ur friend and I'm female so hopefully that counts for something. Hahaha, I promise I'll help you find a sweet little hippy chick at nationals, hows that? Ones thats going to like to be with you because your you. Ah, I'll start interviewing... what are friends for if they can't be nosey and intrusive and try to set u up? lmao

 

I would guess that what is "wrong" with you is that you are probably doing things to turn off females, rather than that you are defective.
~peace

 

well, cool, find a girl you can get blasted with, jus as long as she'll still like you the same after shes high...

 

Actually it's Philip Martin, The Zen Path Through Depression.
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0060654465/qid=1107689465/sr=8-1/ref=sr_8_xs_ap_i1_xgl14/104-9681819-8787100?v=glance&s=books&n=507846

I was totaly into it, and then yesterday at the Peace News Relaunch Party I met this great tender-hearted girl and now my voluntary apathy is gone again. Dammit, now I'll have to ask her out (I think she's polyamorous so I wouldn't be leading her astray). I just hope my newly acquired optimism isn't unfounded.

LotusBlossom, you've got yourself one super nice friend