So I will try to make this as short as possible. I have a friend C and T. C is my best friend that is a girl. T is also one of my very good friends, who is also good friends with C. I made it obvious multiple times to C by telling her that I want to be more than friends or at least FWB. She basically said no on the FWB part because "I don't want to ruin the friendship" and that she doesn't want to have a relationship with me because she's not ready for that much commitment and that she wants me to, in her words, "be the one I end up with", and "I know that no other guy will ever care about me as much as you, but I'm just not ready for that much commitment." Now I'm not stupid and I took what she said with a grain of salt, knowing full well that she could have said all those things to not hurt my feelings. It's understandable anyways, considering we are just nearing 20 years old, so how many relationships at that age really last or are meaningful anyways? The only thing that makes me think she was possibly telling the truth is that we are still friends to this day and talk and see each other on a regular basis. I feel like normally in telling your friends that you want to be more than just that ruins the friendship and makes it awkward. However, I come to find out that her and T were FWB after she said that would never happen. T is pretty much a player who could get any girl he wanted to have sex with him. T has talked shit about her all the time saying she's fat and ugly and that he would never have sex with her and just thinks of her as a friend. C also said the same thing that she just thinks T is a friend but never said anything mean about him. What is very hard for me is being friends with both of them knowing they have had sex and probably still do. It hurts me that T would have sex with her after saying all that shit about her. It hurts me that she would say we can't be FWB but goes right on to be exactly that with T after saying that she never would. So basically I really just need to get over the jealousy of them having sex and I don't know how. Please any help would be nice. I really do care about this girl more than anyone.
The first step of over coming jealousy is to stop comparing yourself to your friend who (might be) you don't know they're screwing the 3rd party of this friendship triad, that IS speculation on your part. Stay active and go see a movie or focus on a hobby that will take your mind of matters of the heart. Remember opportunities in romance is not like business opportunities, neither can they be rationalized with the same logic. For instance your logic is, C is good enough for T, who is my friend, so why isn't she good enough for me? Have you ever entertained the notion that perhaps it works between C and T, BECAUSE of the mutual (again allegedly) lack of attraction between them. Or perhaps both of them actually do like each other more than a FWB situation, but just don't want to go public with it. (and here you go being nosy and judgemental on a situation you shouldn't even know about in the first place)
stop talking to them. especially her. she's just being what she thinks is nice by cruelly stringing you along, but it won't ever happen.
