how do you get him to do oral better

when he already "thinks" he s good at it, is there anything that he can do to learn how to do oral better cause to be honest after talking to him last night i told him that oral was terrible being on the recieving end of the action, he thought he was getting good at it!!!!! trouble is i havent a clue how to direct him into anything to make it better as the whole thing is terrible i just cant relax with him down there, as i find that his tongue/fingers feel like hes rubbing glass into me and it just plain hurts. when ive told him this he cant see how either could as he just cant get any pressure with his tongue to hurt me, but it does!!! it just feels all wrong somehow and i havent got a clue as to exactly what to tell him to change, why cant there be something for the men to practise on istead of subjecting us to it untill they get it right? with us girls we can practise on using a cucumber so our mouths dont hurt, but what about men?

 

No practice necessary if the female is receptive and willing to direct him, even making sure to point out clit location. However, there are women (my ex-wife) who for one reason or another can't abide the whole idea of a guy being down there. I doubt you'll ever change, and you're beginning to sound bitter. Me and Patty decided the sex would never hold either of us - and split. Not every boy and girl are meant for each other in the grand schema of the gods!

 

yes i am bitter, i get hurt every time, that makes you bitter!!!

he has read so many instructions and dismisses then all cause he already does all that!!! oh yeah, so where does it say to hurt your parnter?

i have tried so damm hard to tell if he does something i like, but he never does anything so i have nothing to tell.

 

Maybe your attitude is the problem.. You've already stated you "aren't able to relax with him being down there", "you don't know how to direct him" and that "the whole thing is terrible".. If you don't know what you like then he isn't going to.

Maybe he's doing it just fine and you're just finding something to complain about.. I would suggest if you're that upset about it then just don't have him perform oral anymore.. Or, try having patience, tell him to stop fucking hurting you, figure out what you like and share that with him.. If there's no success then stop oral sex completely.

 

sorry daft question here, but just how do you instruct someone how to do oral on you if A youve no experience from elsewhere and B you cant do it yourself can you?

i want him to go elsewhere and perfect his techniques on some other poor sod instead of doing this to me!!!! trouble is without gaining experience from somewhere else that means hes got to practise on me to make things better, i cant relax if i know its going to hurt, you dont put you hand in the oven when its hot! why? cause early on you know it hurts to do that, so you always use something to reach in the oven, you learnt - he just doesnt/cant wont, i need to cut of all sex and make him start from fresh and untill he gets each stage right then he isnt going anywhere else!!!

 

From what I've read of your situation, you honestly seem too sensitive to touch directly. What about stimulation with a layer of panties on or something like that?

But yeah, if it's not getting better I'd suggest at least a good long break from oral (for either of you, considering your biting comment on clitical) if not a permanent step back from it. You also need to make sure you -tell- him when something hurts, while the action is happening, not afterwards, not after several sessions of pain, but right at the moment. And be sure to tell him as soon as something feels good too.

 

From now on, just have him eat it with a spoon.

Seriously, if you're not satisfied with his way then keep letting him know.. If it continues then don't let him eat you out anymore.. I could go read a book on how to give a good bj but in the end either I have it or I don't.. Practice does not always make perfect.. Are you sure he's not been with anyone else? I'm not saying that you're the problem but is there that possibility?

 

Please dont be offended by what Im going to say...but , why dont you have a female teach him...girls know what works better than guys do....have a girl guide him through exactly what needs to be done.

 

i know for 100% that he hasnt been with anyone else!! and yes i wish he would try out his "moves" and perfect them elsewhere.

i really want to tell him if it feels good so far nothing to tell.

 

No, baby, I didnt mean for him to practice on someone else...how about just having a girl in the room with the two of you..and her guiding him while hes on you !! I know it sounds bizarre...but a guy was who taught me to give head, because only a guy knows what works for a guy...so, I just thought it might work in reverse for you .

 

he wouldnt do it

 

Oh...ok..I guess its easy for me to suggest something like that seeing as how I can go either way....do you ever try to slip him little hints during ?

 

yes the little hints such stop its hurting, grabbing his head and pulling him back up, moving away from him? is that what you mean?

so next time or even 10 mins later off he goes back down and repeats it again!!!

 

Wow.....I wonder why he's not hearing you....maybe he just wants it his way !!

 

yes well 25 years of sex his way and for his benefit has got to change, im 42, i dont want to go through the nest god knows how long of my life and as for that part think what a let down!!!! if there is some way it can get better i want to know and i want him to put his total and 150% into it, not like its been in out finnish and fall asleep, or yes did you enjoy that did you cum, ok snore, activity that it has been

 

Baby...if he has to ask if you got off...then he really does need help !!!!

 

Have you not had other guys do anything that has felt good? Tell him that. You can't use the word "gentle"? If you are telling him and he is just not listening then just stop the oral. Tell him no and end sex if he tries. He will get the hint. Sounds to me like you need to learn to express your likes more as well though.

 

no ive not had any other guy at all, not fingering oral and definitely not sex.

i really would like to express to him more of my likes, if there was anything to like!!!! nothing to report to him yet though, i cant tell him something that just isnt happening can i?

 

Please excuse this question if it seems rude...but, have you ever been with a female ?

 

geez ok, the guy sounds clueless..sorry to say, alot of guys are, ,
so, if bringing another woman in isnt an option, there are places you can go, like sex therapistsb & what not, or, take some tantra workshops..but it sounds like hes probly the type to just let his ego get in the way...
maybe if u just tell him to just be very gentle & slow..& yea like orgasmik ithink said point out your clit..guide him.maybe you'll find a way he can doit without hurting you?

how is your relationship outside the bedroom? it sounds like your sticking together cause u were 1st loves & knew nothing else..