how do i move on?

i just got out of a long relationship. i broke it. he moved on (has a new gf and all), i havent. i still think of him. all my friends think he was an asshole who didnt deserve me, and i am mad at him, but for some reason i cant look at another man or feel attracted to anyone else.

my problem is : everyone has told me i had to date, and that my next date would be a rebound. that it would help me move on. since my ex and i broke up, ive had opportunities to be with other pple, but i dont feel like being with someone for the sake of being with them, and i dont wanna intentionally use anyone as a rebound. i cant forget about my ex, its already very hard to start looking at other men, and i dont want my next relationship (even if its a very short one) to be a failure.

is my next relationship definitely gonna be a rebound? is it what everyone has to go through to be happy again after a sad break-up ?

 

nope.

 

Nope and Nope.

 

naw

 

so have u all experienced that? like after a sad break-up, u met someone great and felt better?

 

No just got over it.

 

Sooner or later.

 

so its just through time?

 

1) your next relationship doesn't have to be a rebound, so don't expect it to be, that's just mean to the guy and to yourself.

2) the fact that you don't want to jump in a relationship right now is definitely good

3) when the right guy comes along, you'll stop being sad about your old relationship. so wait for that and all will be well. until then, try to enjoy being single and do all the things you wished you could have done before you ended the relationship... remember those things??

 

If you have a rebound you will know it.

I had a couple of rebound guys after a long relationship because not being touched for a year makes a person a bit starved. Rebounds mean nothing to you.

 

1) i dont want to be with anyone if they dont mean a lot to me... and id never lead anyone on if i wasnt truly in love with them

2) that makes me feel better, thanks

3) i hope. and well, i know why i broke up with him, so i know i didnt take the wrong decision. hopefully i'll feel good about being single

 

spaghetti always makes me feel better

 

=) spaghetti is a good idea

 

an my girlfriend used to always make me spaghetti

but an i kicked that bitch out of my house

now im depressed

 

Well whatever you do, for god sake don't ask the advice of complete strangers on an Internet forum.

 

Not everyone rebounds. I don't. You might just need time. Why would you want to date someone just to move on? Shouldn't you date because you're ready and you want to?

 

no one forced u to answer this thread

 

Can't help you until you tell me the reason for the break up.

Your preconceived notions of what relationships should be like, and the stuff about placing all the blame on your ex seems to me to be what's hurting you. Not just the break up.

I wouldn't date you, to put it mildly.

 

preconceived notions of what relationships should be like?? u got that from my first post?
i broke up cuz i was miserable, and the guy would never commit. is that ok in your book?

 

Of course it is. If a guy doesn't want to commit, then he shouldn't commit.