How do I get an f-buddy?

I'm married for almost 20 years in an almost sexless relationship. I don't want to pick up a prostitute, but I also don't want an "affair." Are there women out there who really do just want to be f-buddies? How do I meet them? How do I broach the subject?

 

i personally think the idea of a fuck buddy is okay. But on the other hand i would never touch a married man with a ten foot pole. Neither would any other self respecting woman

 

Then you see the problem here!

 

Have you thought of confronting your wife and telling her the lack of sex just isn't working?

 

This isn't a recent thing. It's been a long-term problem that we've discussed and argued over on numerous occasions. She has many good qualities, is a great mom, etc. We've tried counseling and everything else, but it's just not a priority for her and never will be.

I just would like to have a female friend that would give a bj now and then, meet for a quickie, etc. I'm not looking to fall in love; just have a little sexual fun in my life.

 

I've never been in the situation, but I'd suppose it would be awkward. I guess you couldn't really meet a girl and take her out and break the news to her over dinner that you're married and just want occasional sex with her. I imagine that would end abruptly with a slap to the face, in most cases. I don't see how you can have an f-buddy who gives you the usual sex but at the same time not have an affair. Isn't that what an affair usually consists of?

Maybe just go scope some girls out at a bar or something and pick one up and see were it goes from there.



Actually, when I think about it...yeah? How DO you get an f-buddy? I could use one too. lol

 

are you taking applications???

lmao

 

Joey, my guess is that you probably won't ever be in that situation because I think younger folks have a lot fewer hangups than my generation does. I came of age in the conservative '80s, just in time to miss the swinging 70s and married now that girls seem to be more liberated again. I'm not alone in this feeling. A lot of us guys in our early forties seem to be in the same boat. For some reason, a lot of women of our age were raised to believe that sex after marriage is a chore or, worse, a favor, to be done only when necessary. A bj is something you do before marriage, but not after . . .

Sad

 

Pretty damned risky stuff there, man. Just know the kind of woman who would be down for such a thing also runs a good chance of being the same kind of woman who will get a moralistic bug up her ass and will run to tell your wife all about it.

Then YOU are the unquestionable asshole irrelevant of the circumstances.

Think of the movie "Election". If you haven't seen it, rent it.

 

Then don't go for someone from that period. Go for a younger girl a decade younger.

 

I've touched a married man before... of course I was touching his wife at the same time too, so that made it OK.

 

get some E...

 

I've never had a "fuck buddy." I've slept with a good friend once and immediately regretted it, because it messed up out friendship. I also fucked my landlady a few times, but it was really messed up when we started to have issues over the house I was renting -- and her feelings ended up getting hurt. I was 22 and she was 30, so I never expected that.

So, good luck. I don't think I've ever seen a true fuck buddy relationship where one person didn't have or develop feelings of some sort. Not just in my experience, but also other people I've known. That's why I think cases of ongoing casual sex aren't really that common.

 

I suggest doing something different with your wife. Take her out of the routine. Renew your vows or go on a second honeymoon. If sex doesn't happen there you have to tell her that that is why husbands cheat!

Or set a psychedelic day, that might change some things (you did come to a hipforum, had to suggest)

 

Look on craigs list under "casual encounters"

 

Try your local pub!
good luck!

 

I suggest divorce, cuz if you really loved her you wouldn't even be asking this.
Find a new woman.

 

Divorce does seem the only ethical way to go.

I have to ask...what's wrong with hookers? You get what you want. There's no attachment and no worry about blackmail.
A good friend of mine uses hookers exclusively. His argument for it is quite reasonable. Why spend money wining and dining a date hoping to get some when for nearly the same amount of money you can call an escort service and get what you want.

(((shrug)))

Zen

 

www.AshleyMadison.com

...dont ask why i know this...im not even close to being married lol...actually i just saw it on a tv show yesterday people were talking about it

 

Hmm...this is a hard one, i guess i understand how you feel you love her and you love everything about her but there's the one big problem the WALL that needs to go. You should tell her your a man and you have sexual desires that need to be fullfilled and tell her you love her and what you love about her, ask her why she isnt in the mood having sex with you is it your looks, size? just ask her openly and nice without yelling or getting mad at her. If she keep's ignoring you and isn't willing to have sex with you then i'm very sorry to say this but you need to get divorced and find the right woman that wants to fuck alot. Also think about your children. Also don't cheat on your Wife that's the Big NO! NO! either get divorced or ask her if it's ok for you to get a F-Buddy, just don't do it behind her back.