So... yeah! Post your greatest sucks, fucks, humps, bumps, thrusts, busts, squirts and hurts here! Anything goes, as long as it's hot, hilarious, or both!
One time my lover was giving me an excellent blowjob, with me kneeling in front of her on her bed, and when she pulls me out with her hand to finish the job, hoping to get a nice warm load in her pretty little mouth, I guess I shot a little sooner than she was expecting, and hit her right in the eye. She stifled a mixture of scream and laughter, and when she got up to run to the bathroom down the hall, she tripped and fell on her face. I went to help her up, but we were laughing so hard, we both fell on top of each other. We eventually made it to the bathroom and she got the cum out of her ocular cavity. It was hilarious, we laughed, we cried, we cuddled, we fell asleep naked. It ended up being very romantic. Good times.
I lost my virginity when I was 15 to a 35 year old friend of the family. It was incredible but that's not even the best part. The best part sounds like something out of a porno it is so unbelievable, so I'm not going to mention it.
id like to kiss my wife,s ass hole very much but around her ass and her pussy but hate to lick her ass. she asks me to go on licking but i wont . licking is fun and enjoable for wife pussy not her ass.
The hottest sex I've ever had was Tuesday of this week. We went out and got some sweet almond oil, having heard it was good for massage and sexual lube, and decided to try it. I stripped the wife down naked, had her lay on her stomach, and started at her feet. Gave her a good foot massage, while sucking toes and licking the soles, which she loves. I moved slowly up her legs to her knees. Now usually, the backs of her knees are like an extra erogenous zone for whatever reason. I can get her hot just tickling them, but this time, she was actually moaning and clenching up when I massaged them. I could see that she was already pretty wet. I worked my way SLOWLY up, making sure I hit all the right spots on her legs, thighs, etc. When I got to her ass, I skipped it and kept moving slowly up her lower back, upper back, shoulders, and neck. I then went back to the ass, applying lots of warm oil and massaging. I then stuck my tongue right in there without warning. Again, this usually elicits a good response, but this time it was like tenfold. She had a small orgasm right then, which made her drip on the sheets a bit. That got me really hot, and I told her as much, something like "OMG I want to fuck you soo bad!!" and she said "wait, I want to try the new plug..." The new plug is freaking huge - at its widest point, it has a little more diameter than I do at my widest point. I got out the Maximus, and applied a generous amount to her, then to the plug. As I looked at it, I thought "man this could hurt, I better go slow". I started teasing her with it, warming up the hole very gently and slowly. She said "Just hold it in place for a minute..." I did that, and she thrusted back, taking the whole damn thing at once. Seeing her push back onto it, taking each of the three graduating bulges like a pro, was easily in the top three hottest things she has ever done. The little gasp and moan she let out magnified the whole thing. So now she had the plug in, and was wiggling her ass at me with the large black base splitting her cheeks, ass all oiled up and her pussy so wet her pubes were soaked. I put a little oil on my hands and started massaging her vulva, working on the labia, perineum, clit, and putting one finger in to tease the g-spot. Her clit (which likes to hide alot) was standing at attention, so I started sucking it a bit, using my lips and teeth to gently tug on the shaft from the sides, then tickling the glans with my tongue. My dick was practically aching at this point, so hard I could cut glass. I flipped her back over, got in position behind her and started rubbing her clit and labia with my head. Just when I was about to go for it, she said "Wait, lets put one in you too!" So we grabbed our medium sized plug, lubed up my ass and popped it in there. The combo of my already intense excitement plus the prostate stimulation was unreal. She told me to lay back so she could get on top. I did so, but before she got on, she grabbed yet another toy, our favorite vibrating cock ring. By this time, I was sooo damn horny that my precum was flowing like mad, providing enough lubrication to get the ring on. That's a lot of precum. So then she got on top, and slowly slid down onto me. The plug she had in pushed my head right onto her g-spot from this angle, and she immediately started making the kind of noises I usually only hear when she is close to orgasm. Which, as it turns out, she was. Now at this point I should mention that I was kind of apprehensive about how well I would do one we started in on it. I was so excited that I expected to last only a minute or two. She had an orgasm again about three minutes into it. Then another almost immediately after that. Then she settled into a little rocking motion, keeping pressure on the vibrating bullet against my pelvic bone while she worked the g-spot with little back on forth motions, and had her third shortly thereafter. At this point, I was feeling something I had never felt before - it was like an orgasm, only it kept going, and building. For what I think was the first time ever, I could not control my vocalisations. I was making some weird high pitched sounds lol. We were 15 minutes or so into it now, and I couldn't believe that I hadn't come yet. The sensations were absolutely transcendant, the plateau was better than any actual orgasm I had had up to that point. We moved into the Clasping position, which puts more of my length inside, and with the plug in her, it ended up making my head go over the G-spot and back on every thrust. I turned the vibe up to its highest setting at this point. Now she was making sounds I had never heard, and was grinding on me reallly hard. We were working this position for all it was worth, both of us in a state of intense pleasure, when she said "o fuck I'm going to squirt!" I LOVE making her squirt, but have never done so with intercourse. The idea was too much, and I started having an orgasm. Note at this point that Clasping position puts the woman on top, but laid out more with her legs behind her and her chest on mine. Right when she felt me start thrusting hard and I was making orgasm sounds, she moved up, put her hands on my chest, and did something with her legs that I cant quite understand, but that made me have very little control over what was happening. It was like, she bent her knees and used her lower legs to pin my thighs down. Then she let out a high pitched, almost screaming sound, pulled up off me, and I felt the warm flow spreading out, all over my dick, my balls, running down and soaking the bed under me. She was practically screaming with pleasure, completely lost in it, squeezing me with her knees and pushing down on my chest, the look on her face was one of pure bliss. I couldn't stop my orgasm, and with my dick still hard as a rock and pointing straight up at her, I shot right up onto her vulva and stomach, several strong gushes of semen , splattering all over her pussy and then dripping back down onto me, mixed with her own fluids. I was making crazy sounds at this point as well, because I had never felt an orgasm like that before, and it lasted for easily three times longer than my "normal" orgasms. She fell over to the side, sweat pouring down her face and back, eyes closed with this look of complete contentment on her face. She asked for a towel, put it between her legs and promptly fell asleep with that look on her face and slept for almost 12 hours. :cheers2:
