Holiday sadness...

Holidays suck when you've lost someone you loved. So, I figured I'd try to start a thread where anyone that's lost someone that was important to them could share stories and whatever.

This is my second Christmas without my stepdad. He passed away July 11, 2006 - three days after he walked me down the aisle. He was one of the greatest men I've ever know, and I'll never forget that. He gave us a family, and gave me someone to trust and call "dad" after what my real father did to us. Last year was rough, too, of course. I always think about him, being the first one awake on Christmas, coming into our rooms singing Christmas songs as loud as he could, going "WHY AREN'T YOU AWAKE?! DON'T YOU WANT TO OPEN YOUR PRESENTS?!" because we were pretty hard-pressed for money, so he was always excited about what they got us, even if it wasn't much. Every time he walked in from work and saw the tree, he'd start singing some stupid Christmas song that you just can't get out of your head. He was always singing.

Last year, every time someone asked what I wanted for Christmas, I'd reply with the usual, "I don't know" while I was actually thinking, "I want my dad back, can you do that? Didn't think so..." But on Christmas eve, we had some friends over (including his best friend, John, and his wife, Linda) so we all exchanged presents. Linda had made us (one for me, one for my mom) these gorgeous pictures, a picture of him and my mom in the middle, surrounded by flowers, butterflies, etc. My mom's had an angel and a white dove looking over them. On Christmas day, my husband's grandma, bless her heart, had big pictures printed of him walking me down the aisle. I guess I got what I wanted - at least I knew nobody had forgotten him.

This year, I think it's going to be harder. He was really excited about walking me down the aisle, and he was always talking about how he couldn't wait to have grandkids and everything. Now, we're expecting our first and he isn't here to see it. The hardest part about having children is knowing that they'll never get to meet their grandpa Gord, and he never got to live long enough to see his grandchildren.
My mom wants to go back to BC next Christmas, and it'll be baby's first Christmas. I'm planning on having pictures taken, not for everyone else (of course I'll do that, too...) but mainly, just so I can have one put into the little wall where his cremated ashes sit along with pictures from friends and family that are already there. I can't wait.

 

my grandfather died 1996 in july. I planted a huge garden with him and he played at church for 60 years and recieved an award from the pope. he had an organ and played it every christmas and i really miss it even though i'm 26. Its just so peaceful to listen to classical music and christms carols and all that nice stuff. After my papa died my aunt divorced actually 2 of my aunts and than my 3 aunt broke up with her bf and my sister divorced her hubby and my parents divorced when i was 8 . My grand parents were gunna be married 53 yrs. And i miss the whole family being together it seems now that the whole family is spread out its much much harder to get together.