Hidden Party, See Three AM Shadows

Hidden Party, See Three AM Shadows



This climax: staged, with compliments.

Her sculpted air-- more sculpted than most of the others-- he got her to carry a new kind of light, trained every appearance to have it.

Michael Subject: “…yes…”

And moments ago she was nothing… the soft grey-blue of her eyes went unnoticed, didn’t touch, had no warmth, didn’t conjure the tension of impending sex, just spiraled out briefly and folded back inwards.

Michael Subject: “…yes…”

Nights when he peeled back the layers and the closer he got the more he'd throw in, like an infectious giggle or a secret look bordering uncivilized... some relaxed heartbeat with too tender agony... the obsession of a single successfully connected glance, projecting her into all arms, intercourse almost unthinkable.

(In fact, it would kill her.)

Michael Subject: “…yes… ah, yes…”

Strands of brain-bound future frame pure music, skin painted porcelain blended skillfully against the gentle aura breath like young wind through autumn leaves, darken and brighten the lighting with every certain movement of the eyes, straight into the hearts, the desire. Almost the verge of impurity, and the suspicion perhaps she has already been there, for it is a place and he knows it too well…

Some subtle changes in Clark's overall and the merger becomes very interesting... and goes down in history’s business... strengthening his link to its altered material, that gross, stamped bulk.

Jeremy: “I should say he is definitely at the apex of his creative powers... the necessity of this event has challenged him well... and at the same time, he seems confident that it happens freely without question towards the impending inheritance.”

Clark and the girl, with the same light.

Michael Subject: “So everyone in the room is gonna get a little darker, yes… there will of course be music when they meet… and it gonna ebb so deeply that the coarsest meat of the body be instantly tenderize and quivery.”

The more thought, the more body, the all-music shadows. He needs it to happen. They are similar in appearance... similar in disposition... in posture. And differences are easily corrected. Together their energy satisfies in the same way that Brother conducted all of his people: with an empty centre.

High school prom in slow motion... perfect king and queen as they deepen into beauty of Vaseline lens, no blending in with the crowds…

A choir of followers sigh, adoration…sky blue and mercury, Clark and the girl.

Applauding the choreographed,

“How did they get him?”

With imaginary veils and wings, responds,

“Probably in much the same way they got us …”

Is it possible? He bursts into sick, uncontrollable laughter.

“You didn't actually expect to win, did you? There's no chance in hell that Father would allow that. Can you picture how ridiculous everything would look?”

M. is suddenly full of fear. He knows that’s how they work... but he can't resist. It comes bubbling up through the facade eating like this vicious acid making the fullest extent of the ridicule... closes his eyes... and when he opens them, everything is a reality.

They’re laughing at him. All of them. And the laughter is everywhere. Even in him. His face this humiliated red of laughter... a cold mosaic of failures... like a mirror begins to reveal pathetic weakling...

“Don't get mad... it will all go away as soon as we put you back in the illusion. We just wanted to humiliate you for a while.”

She is there, she is pure, then completely initiated.

It's better this way.

Just accept it.

 

nice goatee beard man !!!!

 

I'm going to take that as a 'yes, you are definitely brilliant and I want to read more'. Well, okay... but please, give me time. It will be difficult to write a follow-up considering how brilliant you think this one is.

 

Hmm whereas really I just imagined that anyone writing stuff like that would have a goatee beard !

Do you ?

 

That's it? That's all I get? Why not rip it to shreds instead?

Well, everyone on the internet is basically a disembodied voice to which spectators voluntarily or involuntarily assign certain completely imaginary physical characteristics, so my actual appearance is quite unimportant.

Also, I'm taking your comment is either completely irrelevant, or some incredibly subtle dig at what I wrote, which, with extreme amounts of charity, I could possibly take to mean you see it as superficial wordplay with no inherent meaning, conceived in order to force forward some egotistical image of a latter-day beatnik. Or maybe that's a good thing for you???

To which I must reply: I simply don't believe in creating something that makes no demands and doesn't challenge the reader... also, I believe that traditional narrative is often manipulative and seek to escape it whenever possible.

 

Um... it's a bit poo?

Nah, not really.

 

well I thought I would write something totally irrelevent because I just wanted to let you know I had read it but didnt want to slash it to peices with a stanley knife

its not poo at all

ha ha yeah it is

 

This is interesting but a little hard to follow. There's a romantic vision there, but I have trouble identifying any complete persons or their actions. If you go further with it, you should probably develop a story line, in my opinion. I do suggest you go further with it.

 

It was May 3rd 1702 when Queen Anne announced that she would being paying a short visit to my colon. Naturally I hung up decorations and had several extensions added to it her honour. But, unsurprisingly in retrospect, Queen Anne did not show, and I was left with a huge bill for the work done and catering, which left me poor as a church mouse.

The end.

 

shit and there was me thinking this wasnt going to get retarded

 

hard to follow
didn't catch my interest much
beautiful imagery

 

Thanks for your suggestions!

I guess in a way, it doesn't really go anywhere... maybe like a middle with no beginning or end.

I'd also like to add that I'm excited that there are now real writers in this forum who actually take what they're doing seriously... I never thought it would happen!

 

^ you mean Ronald? quite the professional :tongue:

 

At the time of writing I've noticed that you have 32 posts HF. Is there something we should know about perhaps?

 

Ummm... I used to be here under a different name. Then something happened. See if you can guess what it was...

 

Actually, it's kind of hard to take what he says seriously. I guess he's some kind of writer, but I don't really feel like anyone would get anything out of his 'criticisms'... but maybe that's just me.

 

Ronnie is tough with his criticisms, but if anything, one of the benefits is that it gives the writer a tougher skin. It also helps that if people know that if they have a little think about what they're writing, then they are less likely to invite laughter not just from Ronnie, but from anyone who appreciates writing.

A lot of people see themselves as artists. Does that mean that every person who calls themself a singer can sing?

There are people who haven't found themselves yet, or what they want to do in their life. If their writing is shit, they can still write if they want, there is no law against that, but what makes it worse is sycophantic "do-gooders" who make things worse for these people by trying to make out that they have potential. The end result is often a tragedy as this video demonstrates:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iGFvnT791Xo

 

hahaha oh bless his bollocks for trying but he is a dorkmeister general and so are most of the people who fancy they are writers artists performers etc.

still like you say theres no law against being a crap writer but because criticism may hurt the shit of the crop government will probly ban it someday

anyway talentles writers are the literary equivalent of this bunch of nutters

sentient I thought it was either you or that **** Self Control - one of the two

 

I suppose at this point you're so used to dealing with people with hurt feelings or people talking about people with hurt feelings that it's difficult to actually realize that this isn't the case.

I'm not talking about his upsetting people, more about the fact that his criticisms are really shallow and not very interesting. I agree that bad writers should be told that they're bad, or maybe told to start over or find themselves or whatever. BUT I also think it's also fair that bad critics should be told that they're bad critics!

I honestly think you're kidding yourself if you're saying that his 'value' here is based on his perceptiveness (which, given the absence of description in his stories, seems a bit lacking) and not some kind of personal loyalty, like maybe a camaraderie built on insults... which, I suppose, would make him a bit of a poser.

No offense.

 

There is a very simple way of looking at it, which has nothing to with loyalties. If you go back to the pages before Ronnie arrived, you will find that activity in here was moribund.

Whilst Ronnie's manners may not be to the middle class's expectations, he does appear to be very well read, and witty. Humour comes in many forms. A good example is Borat. While Borat is funny to those watching him, the people he is taking the piss out of don't seem to have a clue to what he is doing. By responding to his criticims as though you have been mortally wounded, you are just entertaining Ronnie's audience. That doesn't make you bad people, either, but if you think you are going to get wound up, then the best thing is to ignore that person, isn't it?

I am not saying that what Ron is doing is either right or wrong, but he puts a lot of effort in this forum, and has amassed a silent fan club of trolls who hound him. Now if he can deal with that, then good luck to him. In many ways it is Ronald Macdonald that has to put up with people's shit, not the other way round. At least he gives a lot of thought to his posts, whilst others write any old shit that comes to their head while they're stoned and try to pass it off as art, and then expect sober people to applaude them.