Hello, I'm new to the forum. I've been married almost 4 years now...and I'm shy to say this but the sex sucks. My husband is absolutely never into it nor does he want it. It hurts, you know? I feel like I can't ever turn him on and if I do he just cums immediately and it's all over within a few minutes. I've read that men with low sex drive are usually more driven and successful which he very much is. He came from nothing and is a successful doctor. He has A LOT of friends which I don't :c I've been diagnosed with chronic clinical depression for the last 5-6 years but despite the medications and the depression my sex drive is normal... I think this might be a driving force for me to want to divorce him. We waited until we were married to have sex. I figured we'd learn to get good at it but in the last 4 years nothing has gotten better. I used to cry a lot about it; nightly in fact but now...I've gotten to the point of resentment and yearn daily to cheat on him just to get him to wake up and realize how much this means to me. Also, my anti depressants really prevent me from crying (I dunno if that makes sense) but it just makes me feel like I'm holding a lot in and I'll end up cheating on him from the built up pressure. So this is a ditch effort to get some help and some advice. As I said he isn't into me in a sexual way so please don't advice the usual lingerie, candles or bubbles to amp up his drive. I wish there was some way to truly make you believe that I'm a very pretty girl but he doesn't see it I guess? Or he doesn't care for it? I dunno... Anyway, I apologize for the long rant. I really am hoping for some insight and help. Thanks...
Have you discussed this with him? What does he say if you have? Extreme sexual frustration is a horrible feeling, it can really mess up your psyche, and it can't help that you're clinically depressed on top of it. I understand you're very fragile right now, but the fact that you are physically attractive could have no bearing on the situation. Being good looking is only one part of what arouses someone sexually. How is your relationship otherwise? And did you do ANYTHING physical while dating? Make out, oral, anything? If so, how did he respond to that? Really sorry about what you're going through. Divorce is a big step though. You guys should talk before you make any firm plans.
You could always read one of the many other posts as of late that are just like yours and see if you can learn anything from them! Shitty lovers for husbands seem to be the thing these days.
You might watch porn togher , jerk him off while watching the porn and then have sex . It takes me a long time to cum like that . You could get on top or try 69 . Tell him you want to try sex differently . If that dont work go to an adult shop and buy some toys . desert rat p.s. you could try "doggie" but that makes me, and most other guys cum too fast .
He probably thinks that he is providing you with a good life, and doesn't need to have intimacy and affection. Or maybe he's not able. Or he just finds it to be a very low priority. But sure....there's not much you can do if nothing has happened thus far. Time to get out.
You could get a vibrator , after you have just had sex , use the vibrator , moaning and screaming , then tell him that he just does not get you off . I think he would get the point . I make sure my g.f.s have an orgasm . desert rat
Over the past few days there have been several threads that sound about the same . A woman not happy with the sex . Ok real person , are you going to get a vib. and use it just after sex with your hub. just so he gets the message ? desert rat
There are many women that dont get the kind of sex they want . I think for the most part they dont ask or know how to ask for what they want . There are also people that have nothing better to do than to troll forums .If you are for real , give this forum some feed back on what kind of responce you want . desert rat
I have talked to him about it; almost nightly for two years. Now I can't. It doesn't get us anywhere. He thinks sex is gross. That my vagina is gross. I shower I consider myself clean :c Outside of sex our relationship is eh...he doesn't spend much time with me because he's either always working or simply tired or watching tv/movies. We made out a few times before marriage, got some hand action in. He always said no to most of it because of religion... I'm just upset...
We are over 400,000 in debt due to school...we make about 50,000 right now... How is that a 'good' life? He will be successful because of his drive. But for now we're scraping by...
I ask. But I've stopped. I don't ever hold back my feelings but since it does no good what's the point in asking? How much more does it hurt to be rejected all the time or flat out feel dirty...
If he's just not into sex, and not going to change, ask him if he minds if you find satisfaction by playing with someone else. Then join a sex club or a swinger's club and have at it.
