Help!!! Weird bible stories

Little help here guys. I thought it would be fun for the kids in my sunday school class to discuss the weirdest stories in the Bible. Like Balaams ass, or some dude falling asleep during Paul's sermon - falling out the window and dieing.

Please give me some of your favorites!!rettyplease:

 

They have this insane story in the Bible. Seems god wanted a son so he sent the holly spirit to bang this virgin one night....it goes on...
hilarious stuff.

 

Pontius Pilate, where did he keep his plane??

 

How about the one where Jesus kicks Satan's ass and then gets the fuck out of hell by riding a badass motorcycle in the sky?

http://listverse.com/2008/01/31/top-10-bizarre-biblical-tales/

Try that man.

 

do you know the disciples had to share a car?
Philippians 2:2
Make full my joy, that you be of the same mind, having the same love, being of one accord...

 

The disciples didn't want their carbon footprint to be too bad so they carpooled. Whenever Jesus couldn't fly them to wherever they wanted, that is.

 

Find the stories with giants.
Ezekiel is a good one too.

 

Do not eat anything you find already dead. You may give it to an alien living in any of your towns and he may eat it, or you may sell it to a foreigner...

 

Good read!

I had no idea..., might even search the bible for those stories ! lol

 

2nd kings 6:29





Look it up.

Oh, and that part about telepathicly asking the guy who is his own father for forgivness because a woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magic tree is pretty funny.

 

Haaaaha I love that album.

 

I like the part where we cultivate an inferior type of human called woman from the rib bone of a man, predating by far, Blow up Bernice.

 

Sounds like the Bible was written by hippies when they were stoned out of their minds.

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BTW, Bat Out of Hell was pretty good.

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Proverbs 21:19 (New Living Translation)
It is better to live alone in the desert than with a crabby, complaining wife. - Stewie Griffin.

 

That is one theory.

 

hahah exactly!

 

Ben-Hur was pretty cool. Especially considering him being the comeback kid and winning the big race with some cheap vehicle he bought from a Roman used chariot dealer.

Wasn't Ben-Hur the cousin of Moses? Maybe I'm wrong.

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bahhhh the bible is blasphemy

 

You guys are funny!! Worthless but funny!!