I was addicted to shooting up heroin and cocaine, or as some call it "speedballing" I haven't done any coke since April 22nd. I quit shooting heroin 2 weeks ago, so I've been clean for two weeks. My parents strictly control my money, even though I run my own business, they are doing all they can so that I don't carry any cash so that I can stay clean until I have enough to move out and start my life on my own again. I recently had the chance to divert one of my paychecks from a client to my friends' house so that I could buy an 8 ball, some H and a pack of syringes. At the last minute, I called and asked them to send it to my parents house, because my gut feeling was telling me to quit. I know it was the right thing, but a little junkie voice inside my head was saying "how could you!!! I've been dreaming about another speedball and you do THIS to me!!??" At first, I was telling myself "just one last 8-ball and bag of dope, and I'll quit for good" but I know that I will just want more and the crash will be bad. My Mom even caught me with some illegally bought pills from a online pharmacy in India, and said that the next time she catches me using ANY illegal drug, she will call the police, and turn in the evidence in order to convict me and put me in jail. She said she would rather see me go to jail than kick me out on the streets. Even though I decided to stay clean, and won this battle, I still can't get past this strong craving in my brain. I feel like I'm going to go crazy and do anything to score my next fix. I just want to jump out of my skin. I quit smoking pot, drinking, sugar, coffee, all bad habits, and it's still bad. I'm going crazy here and I don't know what to do anymore!
It gets easier over time I promise, you just have to force yourself to stay clean. Keep yourself preoccupied, I notice that when I have a lot of other things on my mind I don't crave as much. I'm with you and I know you can stay clean, it's a tough road but much more fullfilling than a drug riddled life. Good luck, I'm always willing to lend an ear if you're struggling.
this isn't just you man .. i'm in the same boat with you except with strictly pain pills .. shifting between oxycodone30's and Opanas .. tolerance has reached like doin 4 opana40s a day . and like 10 30's a day .. a few times more, sometimes less, i withdraw only like 6-8 hours later .. it fucking sucks man
I recently got out of rehab man, I know it might not be for you, but it was for me. I was using over 600 mg of oxycodone a day via syringe, and I stopped. After 20 roxy 30s a day, I'm clean for 90 days now and still everyday I crave that feeling I got from shooting 4-6 at a time, but I tell you man, my arms look better, and everything in my life falls in place without them.
I also notice that as my tollerance rises, withdrawals come on faster, from when I use to wake up and didnt feel the need to dose at that point to waking up in pain, runny eyes and nose and basically feeling like shit. Im at a tollerance of 7-9 roxys a day. So i can see 300MGs +/day coming soon. Im researching a good Sub Dr. in town. Instead of just going through withdrawals like I normally do, I want to get the tollerance down using SUBs and weening off before I jump. I see no reason why i cant jump at 2-3MGs of SUBs. I know the withdrawals will be there but it cant be as bad as jumping from 300MGs OXY/day can it?
