A college professor, an avowed Atheist, was teaching his class. He shocked several of his students when he flatly stated he was going to prove there was no God. Addressing the ceiling he shouted: "God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you 15 minutes!" The lecture room fell silent. You could have heard a pin fall. Ten minutes went by. Again he taunted God, saying, "Here I am, God. I'm still waiting." His countdown got down to the last couple of minutes when a Marine - just released from active duty and newly registered in the class - walked up to the professor, hit him full force in the face, and sent him tumbling from his lofty platform. The professor was out cold! At first, the students were shocked and babbled in confusion. The young Marine took a seat in the front row and sat silent. The class fell silent...waiting. Eventually, the professor came to, shaken. He looked at the young Marine in the front row. When the professor regained his senses and could speak he asked: "What's the matter with you? Why did you do that?" "God was busy. He sent me." There was a little old lady who was very spiritual who would step out on her porch every day, raise her arms to the sky and yell, "Praise the Lord." One day, an atheist bought the house next door to her, and he became very irritated with the spiritual lady. So after a month or so of her yelling, "Praise the Lord" from her porch, he went outside on his porch and yelled back, "There is no Lord." Yet, the little old lady continued. One cold, wintry day, when the little old lady couldn't get to the store, she went out on her porch, raised her hands up to the sky and said, "Help me Lord, I have no more money, it's cold, and I have no more food." The next morning, she went outside, and there were three bags of food on the porch, enough to last her a week. "Praise the Lord," she yelled. The Atheist stepped out from the bushes and said, "There is no Lord hahaha, I bought those groceries!" The little old lady raised her arms to the sky and said, "Praise the Lord, you sent me groceries and you made the Devil pay for them!" A Christian was out hunting one day when a huge Grizzly came out of the woods right in front of him. He backed up and got his rifle up to his eye just as the bear was coming at him. Pulled the trigger.....nothing, checked the safety, off, pulled again, again no go. His gun had jammed and he was cornered against a cliff. The bear swatted the gun away, knocked him to the ground and sat on his chest, licking his lips. The hunter prayed to God in desperation, "Please let this grizzly bear be a Christian, God, I beg you." The bear leaned back and lifted his paws off the man's shoulders. Then he put them together, bent his head down, and growled "Dear Lord, thank you for this food that you have provided for me to eat today. Amen." A man asked God, " Is it not true that a million dollars is like a penny to You?" God replied " Yes, just as a million years is like a second." The man continued "Well, could You send me a penny then?" God answered back, " Certainly, my son, just a second." There was a huge flood and as the town was evacuated, one man stayed behind. When the water was a foot deep, an army truck made one last pass through the streets. They called him to jump aboard, but he replied, "I am not worried, God will save me." Well, the water rose to 10 feet, and a boat showed up. Seeing him at his second floor window, they implored him to come aboard, but he still replied, " God will save me. " Later, as the water reached the roof, a rescue helicopter showed up and lowered a rope to him, as he was now on the roof. He refused it, still stating, " God will save me." The waters rose up over the roof, and he was washed away and drowned. He went to heaven, and when he saw God, he asked, “I have worshipped You faithfully all my life. Why didn’t You save me?” God replied, " I sent you a truck, a boat, a helicopter......"
i like the hitler photo more god isnt on my side coz if he was then i wouldnt be wishing i was somewhere else. fuck him
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