ok so im actually having a good time with my mom, we're shopping and all and then she brings up my pot use..."have you done it since i tested you." of course i say no because i havn't and then i started laughing cuz it's just a silly conversation and apparently i must be high if im laughing because im supposed to be suicidal and depressed all the time...so OF COURSE IM STONED! eck...so then im all like go and get the test you can test me, just cause i wanted her to feel stupid afterwards..and she says fine and she goes into walgreens leading me into thinking shes going to buy it and she asks the lady at the pharmacy about her nasal drip...so then i get pissed cuz i really wanna take the test now so i cut in front of my mom and said "and can you get us an at home drug testing kit too please." and that pissed off my mom and she said she had one at home for me, so now im home thinking theres a test but everytime i ask for it she ignores me and walks away...this is fucking bulllshit
i don't know what your relationship with your mom is like, but you might want to sit her down and have a talk with her. tell her that you need her to listen to all that you have to say. if she refuses to listen, write her a letter. she'll read it. if you should feel so inclined, take a drug test on your own, and show her the clean results as part of your discussion. tell her that her lack of trust is making things difficult for you. make sure she knows you're serious. most importantly, remain calm no matter what. let her know that her actions (or lack thereof)are making you unhappy and uncomfortable. she can either choose to trust you, or she can choose not to trust you. but right now, you are worthy of her trust. if she hasn't tested you yet, and didn't purchase another test, then she must trust you on some level. you probably shouldn't call her manipulative (that would only make her angry and defensive) but it definitely sounds like she's withholding trust as a means of manipulation. you may want to (nicely) ask her why she hasn't tested you, if she suspects you're doing drugs again and refuses to trust you. also, respectfully ask her what the real issue is. it's not whether or not you're using drugs. if it were, she would have tested you. she knows that you're clean. but if she's using your prior pot smoking as a reason for continuing to not trust you, than that sounds like a personal problem. you can't change the past, so you'd better learn from it and grow. if she has trust issues, she needs to accept and work out her problems, rather than taking them out on you. it almost sounds like the way she ignores your requests for a drug test is a manifestation for the way she ignores her own trust issues. rather than dealing with a problem and trying to fix it, she ignores it... but it's not going to go away until she addresses the issue.
