Okay, so there's this girl who hands out samples at the local Costco... I really like her. She has always been really nice to me and to my family, and she recognizes us and knows us personally. I've been thinking about asking her out, but... First, I have no idea if she has a boyfriend. Second, I'm kind of a loser. I still live with my mom, and I only have a learner's permit even though I'm 24. I also currently don't have a job. Third, I've only asked one girl out before, and that was basically a disaster. Fourth, I'm worried it might be inappropriate to "hit on" someone at their place of work. She is the prettiest sample girl there (most of the others are 60+ years old), and I wouldn't be surprised if she gets attention from a lot of customers. So, what should I do? I really want her to be happy... so I don't want to offend her or disappoint her. But then, what if she actually would be interested (very unlikely IMO)? Do you people think I'm "undatable"? Can you think of any way to figure out if she has a boyfriend without making it totally obvious that I'm interested in her? What should I do?
1. I don't see why it matters if she has a boyfriend just to ask her. 2. Do you think she would be attracted to you physically? If you think she would then it makes sense to ask her. Also you could consider trying to spend time with her without asking her out. There is more to this but these are the first things that come to mind.
why not? Just make it into something really casual, like "Hey, I was wondering if you wanted to catch a cup of coffee sometime... you seem really nice and I'd like to get to know you a little better" or something along those lines. But yeah, if you wanna feel better about yourself, get a job and move out.... they both seem to be things that are bugging you a bit.
I think the reason that you're having problems is your lack of self-confidence. Not that you have to be an assertive asshole, but if you think you're a loser, so will she. You sound very nice, but you should be more positive about yourself. Just because you are embarassed about some aspects of your life doesn't mean you don't have olther virtues. Peace PS I say go for it
Definately ask her...I work at a Hallmark and everyday at work I imagine a guy coming in and asking me for my phone number, haha. So I don't think she'd mind at all you asking her at work, it'd atleast make her day exciting.
Wish I lived in SC! Seriously though, ask her...where could you end up if she said no? Right back where you are now. Can't hurt right? Good luck!!
this sounds like a prize bro. normally i'd say ask her out, but this time i say dont. first calm down. second, dont ask her if she has a boyfriend, if you were more prepared to pick her up, i would say ask her, but since youre not, you dont want the conversation to even approach that. find out what intrests her, tell her what intrests you, find out whats cool thats happening in your neck of the woods. if she starts talking about something, seem real interested and keep her talking, dotn cut her off or change the subject, let her keep going, ask her things about what she's taking about. just have conversation with her, make her laugh. smile alot, pretend like you dont care too much if she likes you or not. then end the conversation early and walk on. dont be too forward with this girl, just come across as a fun nice guy. then she wil look forward to when you come around again.
hey capricorn, i live in SC. ill take you out, you seem cool. im not really looking for any type of relationship really, but i love goin out and havin fun.
you miss 100% of the chances you don't take. your bound to meet someone if you keep at it. Besides, if she says no, she is doing you a favor and saying "I'm not for you." than you can move on and keep trying. if you drag it out, someone may pass you by without you realizing it.
Go for it. if she says no, who cares... ...there are girls everywhere. Think of it as a learning experience. Get a job you loser!! J/k! (not really).
Tell her, "that's not all I want to sample". then wink and point both fingers from the hip. I guarantee it will work.
i say go for it. as a guy you are likely to get shot down 90% of the time. but 100% of the times you dont even try you will fail
Yeah, I would go for it, and make sure that you are upfront and honest about stuff--she will respect you more for doing so. Since she knows your family, perhaps invite her over for dinner?
I wanted to repeat the message that you should work on improving yourself...If you don't think you are good enough than why should someone else. A lot of attracting a mate is self confidence.There's no use faking it..become the best you can be and you will get the best you can get. Ask her,but be the person you want to be.You don't have to have your license or move out,but BE the person that knows where you are going and what value you have.
Listen to the "****": ihmurria, I have found, is never more than 1/8 of a single degree of "exactly right." Goatherd, I am not exactly in your situation, but I also struggle with confidence/self-esteem difficulty when it comes to asking girls out. (To tell the truth, I should probably have a lot more confidence than I do have, but my problem is that I overthink things.) Give it a try. You have nothing to lose. If you get shot down, pick yourself up and get ready to try again some time down the line. Good luck, man. -Jeffrey
First, did you look to see if she's wearing a wedding or engagement ring? That would be your first clue as to whether she's attached or not. If she's wearing such a ring, you're out of luck. But if she's not, you might have a chance. Second, I wouldn't consider you a loser for living with your mom at age 24. With the cost of housing shooting up into the upper stratosphere, more and more young people are finding themselves forced to stay in the family homestead (In fact, for the first time ever in U.S. history, the younger generation could end up economically worse off than their parents, if good-paying jobs and business opportunities keep going overseas). Third, I didn't learn to drive until I moved to Vermont at age 41. As a native of New York City, I had been dependent on public transportation my entire life until I finally had had enough of the Big Apple rat race; a car is a definite liability in any big city with a large public-transit network. But in a state as small and rural as Vermont, if you don't have a car, you can't really make a decent living here; the infrastucture is such that Vermonters are more car-dependent than Californians. So don't sweat about still having a learner's permit at 24. In fact, the older you are in obtaining your first driver's license -- particularly if you're over 30 -- the lower your car-insurance premiums are likely to be. Male drivers under 25 are considered by insurance companies to be an extremely high risk, so they get charged the highest premiums. Fourth, You DO have to get a job, dude. Most women won't even consider dating a guy your age and older if you're not working -- unless, of course, you're a college student (Yet even many students have to work their way through college). Depending on where you live, though, you might have to "kill two birds with one stone" -- get your driver's license AND a car in order for you to find and keep a job. Fifth, How you approach someone at their place of employment can be touchy, but it can be done -- especially if you're also working there. The daily contact as colleagues is often an icebreaker. I have a crush on one of my co-workers, whom I've known for over three years. But only recently have I let know it. And I was blushing as I told her. Although she hasn't said either "yes" or 'no," she was quite flattered. Bottom line is this: The only way you're going to find out if the girl you have a crush on is interested in you is to go right up and talk to her. If not while on the job, then perhaps ask if she can meet you over lunch. Good luck. -- Skeeter
