GF is Bi Curious- Wants 3sum!

Hi everyone, new member here in need of some help!

Background: Me (22), GF (19) Been together since 17th Nov 2012, already in love. Lost my virginity to her (saving myself for someone special, she didn't know I was), she has now had 6 sexual partners; but I'm the best she's had- I'm a quick learner!

Anyway, she's gone home for Christmas (she's Bulgarian and I'm English) and we've talked about a lot of stuff whilst she's been away. Today she told me that she's bi curious and has always thought about trying it out with a girl. She assures me that she's attracted to males (especially me), but appreciates beautiful girls, and if they're exceptionally attractive she might feel attracted but that any girl would. I said I wasn't completely sure on the idea and that I might eventually want to, but I can't stand the thought of her being with anyone else (male or female).

I must admit I'm a bit worried- e.g. that she'll end up preferring the girl to me and leaving me? She says that she can separate a purely sexual experience from an emotional one, but I'm not sure. Plus I can't imagine wanting to be with another woman at the moment, I love her. I've been understanding and told her my concerns and said that if even after time I still didn't want to do it, she could possibly experience it on her own, but she said she would never do it without me and that I'm far more important and we have a great time on our own.

A 3sum should be every man's dream right? I've thought about it, but I don't think I could do it with my girlfriend who I love- but I want to do everything I can to make her the happiest she can be

It feels better already, just to get it out! I don't know what I'm asking for, but any comments or ideas or help would be greatly appreciated!

 

"If I don't feel good about it, we don't do it and that's that. We have a great time by ourselves anyway :*"

 

Its up to you, your girlfriend may be bi curious and want to try out other girls but she could also find a girl she likes more than you and leave your butt for her.

I suggest you go with the threesome but keep her on a short leash, none of this crap about little hangout dates with other girls.

 

Thanks for your reply. Yeah that's my main worry really. She's said that she only wants to do it if I'm happy to and would never want to do it on her own, period. I said that she must understand that it may never happen and she said she understands that. But possibly way down the line we could, or would it be best to get it out her system sooner rather than later?

What rules would you suggest implementing or the 3 way in this situation?

Thanks for your time.

 

Honestly if you two have good communaction, are secure and trust each other I do not see why not! If you are worried she is going to leave you for a woman then you are probably not secure enough with yourself and should not do it. This is what brought my lady and I into the lifestyle at first and there has never been any problems at all between us after bringing other ladies and couples in for some extra fun. We know what we have alone is something very special that can not be matched. The other stuff just lets us try things we can't on our own alone together. If anything we are even closer, because of the things we have got to experience together. If your lady was going to leave you it would not be, because she had sex with someone else unless all your relationship is about is sex!

 

Bring your concerns to her. Communication is key. Find out exactly what she wants from the experience and express your concerns about each. Also, if you don't want to do anything with another woman in the threesome, then don't. Just do things to your girl while the other does too. That way you're always involved with her and not the other. This way, if your girl thinks the sex is better, she will believe it's because of the team work, not just from the other girl.

 

Thanks for both of your inputs. I have discussed it with her, and she's adamant that its only a slight curiosity. She loves me very much and I her. I'm a very caring guy, and I want her to be happy so I feel like she needs to do this to understand herself more.

I'm now wondering whether it is best to do this 'sooner rather than later' so she knows afterwards how she feels about it, whether she'll want to do it again, or pursue a female romance or whatever. Is it best to let her learn this now? Or further down the line when we've been together longer and perhaps I'll also just see it as a bit of fun as well...

She's home in Bulgaria at the moment, should I (if the subject comes up again) tell her that I give her permission to peruse a lesbian experience should the situation present itself before she comes back to England in 2 weeks? The reason I ask is that she won't be going back again until Easter 2014 and I think that would be the best way for her to experience it, but then not to have to see the girl again...

Thoughts? Thanks again everyone!

 

I mean the best way for her to experience it sooner rather than later.

 

Oh and btw, she told me that she asked her ex boyfriend whether they could try a 3sum too, and he agreed but bailed out at the last moment and got really jealous and insulted her sexuality- which obviously led to a massive argument. So I think it definitely means a lot to her- more than perhaps she's letting on.

I'm in such a predicament!

 

Then maybe you should keep her in a cage in the basement.

C/S,
Rev J

 

Hahaha! I won't be doing that don't worry! It's strange... I don't worry about her chasing after guys behind my back even though she's been with others before me; so why is it that I'm so worried about girls? Hmmm.

 

If she was to leave you for another woman then it will happen whether she has the threesome with you or not. She is curious that is all. She may or may not be a lesbian but until that time do what you think is right for you and her.

 

IMO,she's already done it. She's trying to figure out now how you will take it if she tells you. And if she hasn't,she's going to whether you like it or not. She is an individual,after all --she doesn't need anyones permission to do anything she wants. Does she?

 

Yeah I guess you're right, thank you. That's why I'm contemplating letting her see if she likes it while she is in Bulgaria, before she comes back.

 

She's hasn't directly told me whether she has before, but I get the feeling that she hasn't, otherwise why would she be telling me she is curious and would like to see if she likes it. She told me her last boyfriend didn't allow her to.

 

"she hasn't directly told me whether she's done it before"

Re-read the second sentence of my post.

 

well what if you really felt at ease and enjoyed the other woman, she might feel jealous.
some women think it would be great to experience this with a loving partner, but imagine afterwards, she may or may not feel jealousy. how would you feel if she did? or didn't?

 

Thank you very much. I really appreciate your post, I think this is what I needed- some personal experience. I'm now leaning towards waiting until I'm fully comfortable with the idea and having a 3 way with my girlfriend. I hope you don't mind me asking you some questions...

Do you have sex with your girlfriend without your bf? If so how regularly?
Have often do you have 3 ways?
How long into the relationship with your bf were you before you had a 3 way?
How long have you and your bf been together?

I think I need to basically 'get over myself' and think what's right for her, she's been wanting to try it for a long time but has never had the chance to do so and as scratcho says, she could possibly end up doing it anyway without me.

Sorry to be so intrusive, but I'm very curious.

 

Yeah, I've thought about that too... I say that I don't feel as though I will want to do it with another girl, but in the heat of the moment, who knows!

I said that to my girlfriend, what if I preferred the other girl and she just said that she'd get very competitive and make sure I didn't! She's said that I shouldn't worry about it as I'd be getting her permission to do so- so the opportunity to be with them both is definitely there if I want it. Plus she said if she did get jealous, she'd only myself to blame. I'm worried I'd get a bit jealous too...

But when I asked her maybe she might have to try it on her own she responded with:
"Nooo, i would never do it without you. Youre far more important, no question"

"If you dont feel good about it, we dont do it and thats that. We have a great time by ourselves anyway :*"

She's so amazing. I'm going to wait it out and one day I hope that I will be comfortable enough for her to live her fantasy out with me by her side.

Thank you everyone.

PS- AnyaZ89 I'd really like to hear your answers to my questions

 

Another way of looking at it is a woman can give your girlfriend something you can't give her. That doesn't mean she will love you any less it's just that she has desires she needs to fulfil. We are all different and if she likes women then it maybe as others have posted, just a sex thing. A woman may not be able to give her the emotional fulfilment a man can.

 

Very good point. I think I'm possibly being selfish. She says that she can separate a romantic experience from just sex.

I need to get over myself. She loves me so much and I need to be her rock and be with her on this journey. It might take sometime, but I'll get there.

Thank you Pimp daddy.