Would you sacrifice a friendship because they didn't have the same priciples as you? I've got mates who are police, soldiers, racists, pro-hunting, pro-vivisection, pro war, homophobics ... not all of them thank god, and not close mates either I should add, but still, they are people I generally get on with in social situations ... I decided recently that one mate wasn't worth knowing anymore when he became a bailiff, he was a close friend but some principles are more important. If he was just an aquaintance I might still be talking to him. Where do you draw the line with your principles against your friends and aquaintances? Am I right to turn my back on people when their beliefs are questionable?
When I started year 10 I made friends with a guy who supported the BNP. I told him exactly what I thought of him and haven't spoken to him since. Most people just have different opinions on one subject. For example I know a few people who are against abortion. I just make sure we don't bring it up in conversation and try to talk about other things. I don't think I'm as good friends with them as I would be otherwise though
I live with someone who's pro war, we don't avoid the subject at all, we've just got to the point where we each understand the others point of veiw even if we don't agree with it. It hasen't effected our friendship at all. One of my best friends is a complete mysogonist homophobe and I'm quite comfortable with that, I might not agree with him on a few points but that doesn't make him a bad person, what would make tham bad people is if they actually beat up their girlfriends/gay people or joined the army specifficaly to go kill people, there's where I would draw the line...
if we accept that we each have different ideas and still get on as friends then theres no reaosn to break a friendship, as Eryka said if its avoided in convosation, or just brought up for a healthy discussion its ok. However ifd one of my friends had racist ideas for example and would voice them infront of me... and act upon them infront of me i would feel that i coudlnt be around them. If they acted upoin their racist views and hurt verbally or physically someone with them then i would have to act upon that and talk to my "friend" and try and get them to see different... if they persist i would have to say to them that i could no longer be a friend if they acted this way.
Whilst I think accepting people with different ideas is fundamentally important, there are certain lines that shouldn't be crossed. Once you find yourself giving too many of your own principles away to maintain a friendship with someone, then is that friendship really worth it? It's a difficult question. Sometimes it's better to remain friends with them and try to change them, but sometimes people are trapped into their own little world of hatred and bitterness, from which you can do nothing to save them, and they would be better off left alone I think....
My friend Kieron (Brightwolf on this site) is joiing the army specifically for that purpose, he knows where i stand on that, but he dont really have any defence in th fact that he wants to kill people "Theres room at the top They are telling you stillBut first you must learnHow to smile as you kill" (Lennon)
There's not much point to a friendship if the other person holds views entirely alien to your own. At that point, are they really a friend, or just someone you know?
You could share other interests ... a passion for a sport, a hobby, motorbikes, racing, cars all sorts of stuff can bring completely different people together, but when you get to know more about their priciples in other areas is when it can get awkward.
I dunno realyl, i mean he is a friend...but its wierd that he wants to go in the army to kill and there his words too...yet he wants to help protest at faslane Its just little things...everytime we go uptown hell start shouting at someone and ill say "why u doing that?" and hell say "because I want a fight" Maybe the Army will be good for him??
hmm, no matter how firmly we believe in our views I think we should always be open to being wrong or at least recognising that with most things there are grey areas where right and wrong blur somewhat. Having said that I don't try to change other peoples views very often and when I do it's something I don't like doing. Usually people have what they think are good reasons for their beliefs and while they SHOULD respect your views always try and respect theirs by not forcing yours onto them. Talk with them about their views, talk about your own views in a way so as to present them to the other person as an option if they should want to take it but trying to change someone is always a bad thing to do if they don't want to start the change themselves. My god I'm being self righteous today!!!:&
I know what you mean. In most cases I'd agree. There are some exceptions for me though. Jonny for instance. A lot of what he says on Islam I find offensive, so I simply refuse to talk about it with him. Otherwise he's a good friend....
I'm a greyist. I don't believe that many issues are black and white. Sure, I'm not saying that a friend is a person who you agree on every major issue with. But in order to call someone a friend (as opposed to a mate, or someone I know), there has to be a core of shared values. If a person is a racist, sexist, homophobic Tory, then I don't see how I could call that person a friend.
I don't think you drop a friend because of their beliefs. That's being very close minded. You wouldn't drop a friend because of an opinion would you. Besides real friends should be forever no matter what their beliefs are.
I really think how you define a friend is up to you. But I wouldn't judge them on their beliefs. Have you ever needed them, and they let you down? Do they lie to you?
Well if I had a racist for a friend, and I met a black girl who I wanted a relationship, then by definition, he'd let me down, right? If not, then he wouldn't be a real racist in the first place.
It depends, is he a real hardcore racist? I have friends that are racist, but they still are my freinds and wouldn't stop being my friend if I dated a black girl. Now hanging out with her is a whole new ball game.
Well there ya go. Someone who wouldn't hang out with my girl is no friend of mine. If that's ok with you, then we have different ideas about what constitutes a friend.
