For the Record:

I have never done the following:

Sported a nifty reversible blazer.

Passed out at an ABBA concert.

Recieved oral stimulation from a monkey.

Gone skydiving with three funny nuns.

Attempted a cartwheel in a pool of green jello.

 

this is sort of surprising actually....

 

This might make a fun game. What have YOU never done, For the Record??

 

Had sex with a nun

 

I had sex with my sunday school teacher. bitchin oral by the way.

 

I have never licked a spark plug.

I also have never spanked a chimpanzee whilst whistling Dixie with a mouth full of crackers and pimento cheese.

I've never seen the ocean.

I've never been in an ambulance filled with angry beavers.

 

Mony, you should try those things. they add alot to life.

 

I have never ridden in an ambulance.

I never sat down to dinner with 5 priests.

I have never been on a surf board.

I have never been bitten by a deer.

 

i have never been attacked by a rabid chicken.

Never been buried alive in marinara sauce.

never been to orlando.

never played grabass with Ganja's mom.

 

I've never had sex with my computer..... yet. tonight might be the night though

 

I've never shared a dinner of moose with a Canadian priest and then asked him to take the leftovers to the Canadian bums (because nobody likes a hungry bum, dontchaknow!). Hahahaha...that was a bad inside joke from high school that no one will understand. And you have to imagine it all being said in a very thick "Minnesotan" accent.

I've never seen any of the Godfathers, nor do I care to.

I've never plucked a rooster.

I've never sponged a pigmy.

 

I have never drank beer.

 

I've never had REAL beer. Just bitch beers and wine coolers.

 

bitch beers? what the hell is that?

 

You know, like the fruity sweet ones. Like Smirnoff Ice and Zima.

 

I've never been to an all night block party, though i have made friends with swingers.

 

I have never ran naked through a tropical storm

 

I've never had a clitoris.

 

I've never pumped my own boobs.... although I have pumped someone else's

 

Have you ever thrown your mashed potatoes up against the wall?