I recently came into some dmt via a manufacturer, and he has been giving me pretty good amounts of the stuff if I drive him wherever he needs to go. The first couple times i imbibed, it was in a circle so I would puff pass and get it a few seconds later, which i'm pretty sure which is what held me back from breaking through. This time I decided i would load a bowl all for myself and smoke as much as i could handle. I loaded probably .2 grams (its not high quality, pretty orange with lots of plant fats left over) sandwiched between gyokoru tea leaves and hit it. 5-7 hits later the heavy body sensations evolved into... well. You know. Dmt land. I was sitting on a log by a creek and the plants and trees started to grow and weave into the air. I got an intense sense of being out of place in this new land, and the trees seemed to me like spirits. They were reproachful towards me, but in a benevolent way. Sort of like how I would treat my cat if he did something I didn't like. My friend "Zack" was asking me what i was seeing (he didn't know any better) and i ignored him half out of inability to speak or move and half out of a desire to simply enjoy this short experience. He told me to close my eyes but I was scared of what i would see. Anyways this sense of otherness continued and I wanted to appease them, to prove myself worthy to be in their presence. Their superior reproachfulness continued as my sense of identity dwindled to a sliver. I soon lost any sense of having a body and was completely immobile. The trees and leaves and plants rose up and each of them seemed to have a face and a consciousness of their own, but the trees were the ones that appeared spiritlike and powerful. Slowly i returned to the world i knew. I remember not wanting them to leave. So thinking about it I believe I know why they were reproachful towards me, and my theory is that they knew i thought they weren't real going into the experience. I had heard of spirit encounters on this drug and simply thought it was a phenomenon of the drug and that no real encounters had ever been made. I'm frightened to go back and reencounter them because I fear they may be even angrier for having the stones and shamelessness to show my face again, especially since i'm still not sure if I believe in them. My question is, has anyone ever had similar experiences, and how in the world can I get them to welcome me? Or am i just fucking crazy.
Powerful account, yes it's pretty mindblowing to perceive seemingly autonomous external entities on DMT. I have had similar experiences on DMT, here is an excerpt from one of my trips... Reproachful is great way to describe the DMT entities at times. I actually had a DMT trip yesterday where I did not experience any entities but nonetheless I still had a slight reproachful feeling and I was looking for a word that was apt to describe that sensation and that's right on the spot. I have used this same description practically verbatim with the cat analogy and all before to describe the entities on DMT. It's interesting you see it in such a similar manner. Going with the idea of how autonomous DMT entities seem, and how rapidly forceful the DMT trip comes on, I have yet to really discover how to affect their attitude to make them consistently welcoming or even consistently appear for that matter but I have had trips where they have been more playful and welcoming in nature.
The power of the trip just about forced me into a state of submissive worship and reverence. So their moods seem to be random? I'm looking forward to my next trip so i can see if anything changes.
I don't believe the perceived entities that I experience on the DMT trip actually exist. But I also believe something is happening beyond personal subconscious like many associate with psychedelics like LSD and mushroom trips. I think the deep DMT space is more telling of something like a collective unconscious, there is so much archetypal type information experienced on it. The directness, precision and complexity of DMT hyperspace makes it extremely difficult for me to think that the trip is solely tailored to my personal history, mindset, emotions, etc. Outside of its direct effect on my brain. Going back to the cat analogy, if you shine a flashlight on a wall for a cat most of them will chase the light and try to chase it like they may a physical animal, but the cat fails to chase the original source being the flashlight which is constructed and often waved around by us. So if there is any legitimacy to these alien entities I feel something similar is going on, they are having us chase the 'light' but we can't perceive the source.
