feeling disconnected

anyone else get that feeling?
lately i feel like i don't belong here anymore
am i alone in this?
if so i guess i'll be along my merry way

 

serious?
sometimes i wake up in the middle of the night like- this is not "real"
disconnected you could say

 

i don't know lady.

it depends on where you mean by here.

 

i'm not all serious
i'm really light hearted in this actually
it's kinda like a transition phase maybe...
i need change

 

yeah, right now im trying to find myself in the space between bass and treble

 

well i mean here as in this site, but also in life when it comes to change
i don't feel like i belong on this site anymore

 

I get that. A couple of days ago, I experienced depersonalization for the first time. What a fucked up feeling that is, but it doesn't scare me.

It's almost as if I'm outside looking in, and seeing my body being operated.

I read my own notes, and I understand the significance of what I try to express, but everything just feels like a joke. I don't mean this as a bad thing; it just is, and that's the best way that I can describe it.

This may be silly imagery, but I'll try my best... Imagine pushing your head through plastic wrap, but not enough as to tear it. You are still behind the plastic wrap, but you see through it. It's like the part of me that's truly me is somehow beyond this reality and is looking in on this one.

All so very strange.

 

who does? really..

 

oh fuck off.

dont' be so gay.

 

I feel you Jess. just remember that even when the world is at arm's length, it's still there.

 

When I had come here I had just gotten discharged from the army...

 

Oh... you didn't mean it that way. Never mind then... oh boy

*so embarrassing*

 

Why do you feel that way? Maybe this site lived out it's purpose for you.

 

i ment it in the most shallow of ways
but it does have higher meaning
it goes beyond this site
i am totally gay

i'm not going to make the comment i would like to make because it's totally all "woe is me bullshit"

 

lol, I go through that. It'll pass and you'll be iight.

 

me.

absolutely me.


and zilla. She's kind of funny.

 

yeah. sometimes i like feeling disconnected. this past week it has felt really good..

 

yeah, well, this site can be a tease. it's amusing, though.

 

Zilla's real groovy. For some reason I got the feeling she didn't like me.

Crazy as that seems.

 

it does what it does, I guess.

Amusing, yes. You too missy. don't think you're not an attraction funny wise.