Advice is appreciated... Hey hey...so I have mixed feelings about online social networking. I joined facebook back in 2005 when it was still mostly students, and then at some point it became open to everyone. My profile on there has always been very locked down to where no one who wasn't already friends with me couldn't actually search for me so I had to initiate all friend connections. I noticed that an aunt of mine had joined and was friends with my sister, but I don't think she noticed I have an account. She never said anything to me about friending me, but because of my privacy settings there was no way for her to request friendship. This aunt would go on my sister's facebook and correct her for swearing, etc. I was like, "eeep, I don't want her seeing my stuff then!" And as I noticed more people from that side of the family joining, I locked my profile down even more. So recently I decided it wouldn't be a bad idea to add family on there, but I made an alternate account. I figured have one account just for family anyway, it's more buttoned down, and there's nothing that could possibly offend any family on there. So almost everyone in my family who's on facebook has added me to that account, except for that aunt - she rejected my add request. I think it might be because she knows I've been on facebook all along (she had to have seen at least a couple wall posts on my sister's, etc.) and she's somehow unhappy that I waited this long to let family in on my 'net life, and I think she's also aware it's a separate account. I mean, she is allowed to have her feelings, etc., but everyone else knows it's a family-only profile and they don't seem to care. I haven't actually talked to my aunt and since it is only the internet, and I have her other contact info, it's not like I can never contact her in other ways. I just feel like it's odd for her to reject my add request. Also, if she wanted to be facebook friends before I created the alternate account, she could have written me. So I don't understand why she's being passive/aggressive on the internet and she's too old for that. As I said, internet contact, social networking, and family members are a weird mix to me. I had been so used to not having relatives be able to see my facebook and myspace pages for years, and now suddenly it seems like everyone's family members are also joining. The alternate profile I made for my family is all the info they'd WANT to see anyway. I don't think my aunt would appreciate seeing some of what I put up on my profile for friends. Especially if she's e-scolded my sister for cursing. She'd e-scold me for blasphemy because I'm an atheist, e-scold me for having Bill Hicks and George Carlin quotes in my quotes section, etc. I reach out and give my extended family a way to keep in touch with me without seeing things that I know will offend them, and she rejects it. WTF? As you can see, I'm conflicted about how I should feel about this, if any way at all. I am OK with brushing it off and never bringing it up. There is, afterall, snail mail and telephones, and she is my aunt, and it is just the internet. But there's this bit of me that does feel left out since she's friends with some of my cousins and my sister. There is still a little kid in me that wonders if I did something wrong to put a bug up her butt, but at the same time I know I'm an adult, entitled to control who sees which internet presences, and that's my right, and her reaction to it belongs to her, and her only. Plus I know for a fact when we do see each other again (she lives pretty far away and I get to see that part of my family once every 2 years or so) she'll be nice to me in person. I suppose that's what actually matters. Sorry if I'm rambling. I'm very hung over and having trouble organizing my thoughts. I guess the most concise way of putting this is that usually the older relative is the one being rejected on facebook and the like by the younger relative, and now it's the other way around. On one hand, it's just the internet and I can contact her in other ways. On the other, I feel a little left out, but can see how she may have felt left out before and feels like it's shady of me to have 2 profiles. But, think what she wants, it was my decision to have a family-only facebook and I stand by that. There's just this little kid in me who wonders if I'm wrong, even if the adult in me says that I should let her own her own behavior and not worry about it.
I left Facebook for awhile because it is too hard to mix family and friends and please everyone. There was always a war starting with family or a friend would spill the beans about something I did not feel like explaining to family. In the end I missed going on and seeing what my friend had for dinner or who had a bad day at work so I got back on. Now I am just careful and censor my comments. It sucks to have to do that but it keeps the peace.
I have hardly any family on Facebook, it's too strange as for you aunt, obviously she is pissed you didn't add her a while before. Maybe she was added by your sister and was waiting for you to do that same thing. I do think a separate account can be a little stupid though. Facebook always asks if you know various people and tries offering people with common friends, and it's name specific too. Everybody on your safe account has seen you have a second, I would be offended- simply because it proves you don't want them on your first.
I have cousins and my brother on facebook and that's it. Aunts, uncles and parents are a no go. Considering I have pictures of me doing stuff they probably wouldn't approve of :x
Just dont add them, who cares. its just facebook. IF they got a problem with it, tell em to call you if you want updates about your life. dont go to facebook to be stalkers. I have aunts on facebook, I just put my "personal album" on priv with them. honestly though they dont really care or even look on mine. one time my aunt comment on my status cause i said a couple cuss words and she was going on how i shouldnt say it yadda yaddda and my friends commented back saying she should lay off my dick. LMAO she hasnt commented my status yet.
next time if you should need some help with that table sugar just drop us a "line" he he it was just begging to be said
in some aspects it is good that your family understands pc's and this new technology every time i try to talk to my mom about pc's she just gets mad and starts calling every things machines,but i do try and make sum alowances for her age! family and problems are about the toughest nut i have ever tried to crack!! dont let the world get to you, u have tons of people and freinds who are here for you, just drop us a line if you need us!
I know what you mean. Having my aunt and uncle reading wall posts and reporting to the 'rents kinds sux.
