Drunk hippy gamehead me

Drunk Hippy Gamehead Me​

By: Hippychrome​

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What’s going on,
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Am I insane?
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Dreaming of drink,
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I am drunk again.
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The life of mine,
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I must be insane,
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Wasting away in front of a game.
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Crying inside,
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The tears pour again,
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Crying inside,
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I’m drunk once again.
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A new game again,
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I am happy and distracted,
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and can hide inside my insanity to keep my mind off real life once again.
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Another drink I pour to get drunk more and more.
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This cycle of my life is outta control,
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A merry go round,
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No, missery go round,
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How do I get off this ride?
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When will my life be complete once more?
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Drunk Hippy Gamehead Me!

 

love the title! I liked this...I go there a lot!

 

You too? Sigh, yeah, life can Suk can't it lol. When are we all ever gonna get rescued?

 

First of all, I really loved your poem. It flowed nicely and was full of truthful emotions. As to when we'll get rescued, the rapture is coming!! Hope you're all ready. Peace!

 

thanx MoonJ Good karma . + I just hope we get rescued b4 I'm TOTALLY over the hill or the nukes start flying lol.

 

You boozehounds! har har

 

Most of us 30+ know there is more to life than there is + were all mainly depressed, drunk, gaming, jumping off cliffs, or demonstrating etc. + mainly have given in on life all together. Mind you, some make it .

 

+ how life sometimes repeats itself ha ha ha.

Life is full of circles,
if one problem can not be solved it will bite you in the bum another day,
no matter how many years we run away.
or wait for the end to come.

 

hehe, this one is familiar… I had that same nightly ritual for a good little while there. Life: if you aren’t an alcoholic, you haven’t been living. lol for pessimism!

 

Ha ha ha, but be careful fulmah, cos I've been seeing an alchy worker and am going to have to detox, too many years on the cider lol .. so watch your liver .

But then again, we're still waiting for the end lol.

 

i can only relate to this
in the view that my partner now does not drink......

after a few years of hell he gained the strength to never
reach for the bottom of a bottle again
he nearly lost me and the kids because of the pain he felt during
a bottle and after.....the pain i saw within the distant eyes
the pain he caused within the family
the hurt ,the times of anger that arose from his needs for drink
the lose of memories together,the passing times
you see the need for something can cause pain to others
and paul my love ,learnt this the hard way ,
and i mean he does not drink now.. for life is to rich with love
and help...once you pass the bottle without tasting.......

i am too an ex.....of many a powders and trips
so i too relate to the needing something
but i got very ill from speed but thats another life
a pst life... so good luck ROB...
life is worth the fight against any thing we use to keep us within
the need .......

i do feel this poem is opening you up to yourself rob.
for i understand needing something

so heres to needing and then refusing....

loven peace from saff

 

I am glad your partner is off the bottle Saffy, and sorry to hear all the harm it caused, and I'm glad you too are off speed and other things . I have had friends on all things like that in the past too which messed them up and some still unfortunately do.

Yes, I did used to be drunk hippy gamehead me, but I have gotten better, although before I did not see it as a problem until I decided one day to just stop.

I can do things like that.

Anyway, I decided to stop but weird and horrible things started to happen so I saw the doctor and he sent me to an alchy worker because they said I had withdrawl symptoms and it was impossible for me just to stop as I found out, ( With a mighty shock I'll tell you ! ).

So, I've been going to see an alchy werker for a few months now and she put me on set daily limits and dropped it bit by bit controlled to help my body adjust to food once more. Then in a few weeks I start some medication for a week or 2 so that I can stop drinking without any risk to my health like alchoholic toxic shock etc.

When I was in OZ I got off alch with legally using grass as is was legal there and I was fine, but when I came back, my drinking habits started again. Thus I found myself getting hooked without knowing I was hooked, ( sortta catches up on you aye ? ).

So, I work on safe limits, then a total stop to the ciders and Tennants super . Without the side effects thankfully.

And my dear Saffy, Thankyou for your support and words of encouragement, as I know I can do it now .

The only trouble is.. is that for many years I drank, gamed or was on grass and lost myself. I don't know who I am anymore, but have built up abilities, done courses, spiritual training and lots of things through my life. BUT, I was happiest in bands. But gaming was my calling as well as spiritual matters.

What I mean is that, if I cut out alch now, I've had a lot of years of on and off confusions, and all that is left is a frightened 15 year old before the SERIOUS drinking began. Odd how I needed a half bottle of whiskey behind my amp for stage fright aye?

When ALL alch is stopped, I will have to rebuild or make a new self of me from being like a stage frightened 15 year old.

I am frightened of that.

 

My 500th post, feeling 500 years old + I'm back to drunk hippy gamehead me. Currently playing 'X2 the threat' and 'Playboy the mansion'.

How sad is that?

 

I noticed you were saying 'when am i going to get rescued?' I have a friend who tells me that this idea of search and rescue is another part of the dream..and not relaity..becuase theres no rescuerer..going to come from the outside to come and save you and bring you back to life.. if anyone rescues you, it's gong to be the inside part of you that does it.

sorry im interffering, but i've had the same issuesssssssssssssssssssssssss.

I started drinking at age 15 and stopped at age 17. for all that time i didnt have aclue what was going on...so im the same as you. im age 19, but mentally, i'm picking up from age 14. its okay though..luckily i was quite ahead..but still very annoying to be mentally retarded..as it were..im not kidding, i seriously am mentally about three years behind where i 'should be... but if i dont just get on with it...i wont find out if thats okay/accpetable...or if people will understand and help me catch up'...

 

big sighs here
knowing this poem too well
this madness that reigns supreme
that i chose somehow, i must have,
destorying our gift, that lashed out when we were not grateful or mindful of the calm garden granted
easy to fall, and hard to shake off a hole,
and who wants to fight the tide and heal,
when we all just wanna slip away,
taunted and teased,
just take me into the ease of soldiers who see, flyin on the wind, propelled into something positive and welcomed,
but maybe, maybe it is for a reason,
and maybe the time will be right,
and my wish will ring out in the form of light,
and this weight will drop as im released to walk as i please,
im just wasting precious opprotunity for growth, for work,
that could have been ohhh so smooth if we just grabbed what was right in front of us
corruption all around, who let it in, just shut the door, build a home,
a missed step to the stairs
not punished, but not rewarded either,
diggin deeper into this, emptyness

 

It is late now and my bedtime Nr, but as a quick posting b4 tomorrow, when you was born I was gigging in bands . Kera, believe me when I say that you ARE young and yound at at heart and people NEVER change not any matter what your age is . When I was 15 + left school to find myself in which i did in bands, I never dreamed I would ever be 30 never mind 36 lol.

You are NOT years behind, you do not have a problem love . You are YOU ! . We are all indevidual and not part of a machine . Fight for your freedom within yourself and do not let others or the system make you 'Grow Old' .

I do understand you though . I am stuck sortta in the 80's, but I impliment the latest technology into my life too. I sometimes 'Tune In' and I know I am getting older, but even strangers said they think I am in my 20's lol. ( and that was strangers and not being polite ).

KEEP your youth, I was a late bloomer in certain ways,( Even er, sexual, I was a VERY late bloomer, ) and it looks like your time is yet to come in ways , No I have not a clue about your sexual life lol or it it was like mine, I just meant in general as being an innocent being . Embrace it and do NOT see it as a problem .

Yes, I went through a detox through my own willpower too, I know it takes ME to do what I want to do in life, but, sometimes at certain ages, we give in for a while. It happens to most people. But. KEEP, find your true tallents and LIVE !! I did and even lived in OZ for a couple of years lol. I toured all over the UK with a band as well as my own and also overseas etc + that was when I was 18 - 21 .

Another thing.. I have drank all my life, even from 4 yrs ld I had sherry etc lol, but when I left school at 15, I was on half bottles of whiskey, but sorted it out in OZ. But gigging, I.E in clubs sortta promotes a drinking life too lol.

NO, you are not interfering, I like your input . I will re-read all tomorrow like. But , believe me, live your heart out as you are .

 

Hugz and goodnight to you too scarlit . My bed time. I'll be back tomorrow . Looks like we posted at the same time lol .

 

Upon the dark horizons towards the driftin shore Iheard the call of Poe's raven Nevermore Nevermore

And if I had an an answer to every dream I've dreamt
Maybe then I'd know how and why my life's been fuckin spent

But this pall of sadness that hover's over me head.
I wonder I wonder I wonder will it still linger when I'm dead.

And every ring of madness that dwell's inside my acheing soul.
Has the glow of sunlit sunlight
My aim...My Target....My Goal...

Alas it is the evening and the darkness creep'th in
Another day that's over Another day that's been

And as I lay my weary head to surrender to my dreams

I wonder ... I wonder......I wonder.....
Is this all its ever been. Love and Peace

 

what a cool lot of advice. thank you! i'm doing okay... right now. i play in a few folk rock bands and we're getting good, but im still lost. is the essence of the feeling. searching..is a better way to put it. i stay away from the drinking even though we play in pubs. i get a jug of water and make it my mission to get through three of them.

im pretty excited right now, there is a new band im joining and they seem really good. But i saw this excellent violinist last night..and now i feel, inspired, but downhearted becuase can i be that good??... ill hvae to find out

 

be thankful,
when the forces pull the see saw down,
because the forces are teaching you, yes you,
personally and caring they wish not to hurt,
but when you let your mind go to waste,
and on your own, you dont try to become your true best,
they do what they can to bring you to true rest,
and besides, when the see saw is down,
your then to free to step off the ride, detatched and take a look around,
i saw some of you by the river today, and it reminded me that im still okay,
not too far at all from exactly where i need to be,
i know you guys are here, but in me there is an empty space, a vessel waiting to be filled with patterns and worked,
a mirror reflecting what is truly here, with fireworks repressed for too long shooting off with humor and wit, tickling, turning you on and scaring you,
and i know that this so called problem i speak of, is nothing, a creation now,
everything i want, is right there in front of me just waiting for me to grab it,
lessons are yet to come, but i know that i can walk when the path is presented,
and i know that i must have been doing something right, and ill keep trying to,
because i feel powerful and healthier, and i know more or less, what i need to do to keep being my best, and how to not ABUSE the power my energy flow has been granted
im one step closer, to healing from the disease of this culture you wear proudly,
void of creation or artistic authenticity or intent,
dont get me wrong, ive payed me dues and growth doesnt come easy without rain or pain,
and its not gonna start coming easy now, but truth and detatchment has attached to me, and i may not be in the moment, but ive been there and got my souveniers,
emptyness and suffering are the core compenents of most of our moments,
but im doing okay, to be the best i can to grow, to fill the void in my spirit, and the void in others and in this world, and im sowing my harvest, where is yours?
this to me, seems to be the way to walk to get to the cosmic dance of true joy, and if you want to get to heaven,
you might as well start from where you are