Do You Take The Bible Literally?

Hey guys,

I'm just wondering how many Christians belive everything in the bible is 100% real.

like...

Noah got every single animal on earth (from Antarctica to Australia) into one boat, and they didn't kill each other or starve.

Adam was made from dust and Eve from his Bone, and then they populated the whole earth (from black people to white people without evolution)
Jesus's mother was a virgin. Earth was made in 7, 24 hour days...(dinasours?)
and so on and so on.

In no way am I taking swings at the bible, I'm just from Texas and a lot of people here take it litarally from cover to cover.

I just view some parts of the bible (even Genesis) as stories to teach great moral lessons or to help explain some of the mysteries of existance rather than they strictly had to actually happen.

Please voice your Opinion and share why you feel that way
Peace

 

I take it with a grain of salt.

 

How big of a grain?

I take it as true, but not nessecarily accurate. For example, I find the Old Testament stories to be either embelished history (with actions and events attrtibuted to God), or metaphorical language/parables with a little basis is fact (ie. where the garden in Eden is located. In-text clues point that it is located where modern anthropologists think man may have started settling, domesticating animals, as well as the begining of farming--so you can see a connection with the "creation of man" there). The New Testament i figure as of now is basically accurate, but alos should be read critically because the writers were probobly not there when it happened, and are writing based on someone elses account.

 

that's sensible burbot, i like sensible people.

 

No you don't, Libertine!

You take it with four metric tons of salt!

 

OK... Let me stop you right there.
I promise I am not turning this into one of these 'word definition' controversy posts when I suggest you need to start understanding what is meant by 'literal' and why you are saying 'real' and the difference.

With rare exceptions, almost everywhere you find some writing in this Bible you find it present itself for what it is: Allegorical, Literal, A Parable, A Poem, A List, etc etc.

Its pretty easy. Just for example when its says something like:
"Jesus stood before them" - this is probably describing an actual physical thing Jesus was 'doing'.

Now if its says something like:
"Jesus told them a Parable" - Usually this means Jesus 'literally' said something and then the 'Parable Part' is where you, the reader are 'tipped off' this is THE PARABLE PART!

Almost every time in every passage in the entire collection IS REMARKABLY EASY TO KNOW WHAT PART IS A FIGURE OF SPEECH OR ALLEGORY AND WHAT IS NOT!

Anyways... lets see some stupid shit you made up and NOT what you read in the Bible:

Idiot.

Where the fuck do you think people come from you moron?
I agree its FAR MORE EASY TO ACCEPT than some theory that some fucking goop in an ocean was penetrated by a big shaft of lightning and then accidently became EVERYFUCKINGTHING on Earth from Tomatoes to Chickens to Brontosaurs
But
Yeah.. how can that be 'real' that Parents could pass their genes down to have children with variations of their genes!
WOWZERSSSS HOw caN I belieVE that iS 'LIteraL'!

Dinasours are delicious and even adults like them and its even more amazing to me that the Earth would be made by accident in 3, Billion year long 'days' or that the Master of DNA could not quite easily pull off an Immaculate Conception.

BTW.. its not a 'Allegory' when you read 'MARY WAS WITH CHILD' ok.
Do you wonder if the author meant that Abraham Lincoln was 'Literally' a President.
Hmmm.. I think its meant as an 'allegory' and not 'literally'.

YEs, and morons in forums like to continue trying their hardest to popularise bogus terms like 'Literalist'.
You take the Literary works of the Bible as 'Literal' and that means that the Poem, Allegory, Vision, Likening, Metaphors are LITERALLY POEMS, ALLEGORYS, VISIONS and so on.
Yes.

Well, Look. the text of Genesis presents itself as a real account. it CAN ALSO, AT THE SAME TIME, IN ADDITION TO have a 'Moral Lesson' just as the Garden of Eden Account gives a powerful teaching tool to understand the very fundamental issues of 'the human condition'.

Let me suggest that you are afraid of Evofundie and Secular Humanist Propaganda which has scared you into believeing that Genesis can be or has been 'debunked' by 'Science' or some fucking bullshit lines like that.

Good news - they are like schoolyard bullies or flashy braggarts... once you expose them for the bullshit they are - they will fall apart like the scared little pussies they are.

Stop compromising yourself just because someone wants to scare you into rejecting an open mind to Genesis.

Just a suggestion.

Done and Done!

 

The number of times you used "moron" was simply moronic! seriously dude. when i had all my pericings I went through alot of prejudging because of people that put a bad image up for peircings...Your doing the same for christians.

 

In all fairness though, piercings deserve it.

As for me, dont be so quick to judge.
Some of the lame non-Christians like to pretend like they are so aghast at the whole name calling thing but cool and not moronic non-christians have a helluva lot more respect for it than you know.
Im not saying they agree but at least they respect that I will call stupid shit what it is.

Maybe I was a little harsh with Deadhead but he is probably still stoned right now so he isnt really gonna get the full effect of it anyways.

 

Commandment #11: Thou Shalt Not Name-Call.

 

Hahaha

Holy Shit Dude. (Erasmus 70)

It seems to me people like you get too caught up defending your religion you forget to actually live the teachings in it.

Well best of luck to you on your spiritual journey and I hope you end up a little bit more kind to your brothers and sisters at the end.

Hahaha I wanna be just like you when I grow up man.

 

Hmm why do piercings deserve it? For some people its actully a spiritual path/ joureny or self discovery. It becomes apart of them.

When you call PEOPLE stupid its diffrent. I can see it now

Jesus: Man you Pharasise are Moronic Dipshits

yeah lets see who follows him then! But wait! People do follow that made up slander spouting murder commiten racist jesus! Its called over zealous right wing nut jobs that have insucruites in their faith and must resort to violance!

Lib and I have had some arguments/debates what ever you want to call it over God etc etc and from what I remeber we didn't have to resort to slander and name calling..And look at us! We aren't change'n our belifes every argument are we? Chill out someone beating you in a argument dosen't mean your any less right just means you can't argue worth a crap

 

haha, this reminds me of the "11th and 12th" commandments i saw at a church in town here (i think it is either Baptist or United, I am unsure--it is the pink one to me )

their 11th commandment is: "Thou shalt not have drinks in the church" and th 12th is: : "Thou shalt not have food in the church"

EDIT: it didn't say church, but I can't think f the word they did have--it was basically saying to keep the drinks and food out of the place where the services go on. I hate me for not knowing words sometimes. Well, I officially killed the funny...carry on

 

Jesus didn't use words like 'Moronic Dipshit' because that would have been too friendly and made light of the situation.
He did say:

"Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitened tombs, which outwardly appear beautiful, but inwardly are full of dead men's bones, and of all uncleanness.

Im pretty sure only Jesus gets to make those sorta comments though.
Thats calling people on their very soul.

 

The whole of Matthew 23 is great. Jesus flips out like no other time

 

I gotta say, when you make a point and you're really pissed off, it dilutes your point. Even if your points were rational (they aren't) being irrationally angry dulls your argument.

 

Oh, I can still call you a Moron.. but I cant be the one to decide if your soul is damned or something like that.
Jesus could.
Then he was God so.. big difference their.
The Soul is hidden but Moron is all on the outside.

 

yes you *can* call me moron but the bible actully frowns on "name calling" and unkind jest you are aware that you aren't to call any one a Fool correct?

 

(Matt. 5:22). If one calls another a fool out of sinful hate, then calling someone such a name (or any similar term) is wrong.

for some reason you seem full of spite when you call people "stupid morons" etc etc.

that could be me but why not take a vote?

 

You have heard that it was said to those of old, “You shall not murder, and whoever murders will be in danger of the judgment.” But I say to you that whoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment. And whoever says to his brother, “Raca!” [a Syriac word indicating great contempt, meaning “empty head” or “one who acts as a numskull” see Barnes, 1972, p. 52; Lenski, 1943, p. 219—CC] shall be in danger of the council. But whoever says, “You fool!” shall be in danger of hell fire (Matthew 5:21-22).